The Pendulum

by Matt Romantech on July 25, 2017

Well here I am.

I am sitting here at the farm but I am reliving a passing emotion of angst to find my dad has been organising things.

I just am feeling quite . . . emotional isn’t the word. Overwrought isn’t the word. Wrought.

1.
(of metals) beaten out or shaped by hammering.
2.
made or fashioned in the specified way.

I mean, it’s all happening, I was a bit miffed my dad was still here, because I really felt that I need my own time to settle, and just have my own space. But then I kind of got over it and I was moving things around, and yakking about this and that and here I am, my office is pretty much set up, I still will need to look into it, but then y’know I was feeling so good, here I am.

But I had my rash, I’m getting on top of it but this is what I’m driving at. I’m all worked up emotionally, it’s all happening and it’s all the emotions are coming through the tube so thickly I don’t really know how to react. Am I supposed to be happy now?

I know my rash is all reacting to my heightened emotional state, I’m agitated.

I don’t know how I found more stuff in the trash but pretty soon I found way more stuff my dad threw out, just stupid little things and knick knacks but again, I went to all the effort to make sure everything was in the boxes together.

My whole effort has been to try and hold all this shit together, not specifically for my mother or the sake of her memory but for the sake of culture and tradition. I am somebody, I come from somewhere, I come from something.

Just like a hot chick doesn’t need to say anything, nor do I either want to say anything, it is simply so evident I am not from an essence or a tradition that is nothing. I want the rich layers to be preserved, not for my mother’s sake, but for me to give my own take.

I had my own take, and now that feels fucked with, but the point I’m really driving at is that I am surfing waves of emotion, one minute I’m scritching and scratching, the next I’m freaking out over this stuff . . .

Oh great, now here’s the rat! First night here and the rat is scratching on the door at me, just as I feared. It’s one of those ones. I’ve conjured up this rat, I’ve drawn it to me by sheer force of my emotions.

For some reason I ended up thinking of sam petersen . . . I guess I was enjoying this room, and thinking how I always had one big room and never had 2 rooms, and I thought of cardigan street, and just it all came back to me. Another dude who just fully victimized me. I’m going to have to find him too, basically he went mental and started telling everyone I was trying to control his thoughts or attack him mentally. I was like . . . 20? 21? Again these people . . .

Again, these emotions flooding over me. I seem to be resisting . . .

I go to hit my dad up and he just gives me utter attitude and I am so fucked off. He can be like that, but that’s no excuse, now I have to tell him to fuck off and hit the road, he’s made me feel like utter shit. I don’t need this shit, I don’t need some asshole giving me shit.

But the point still stands.

I seem to be doing everything I can right now not to enjoy the moment.

Sure, I need to tell my dad to get going so he knows how much his attitude has bummed me out, when he’s just acting out. He did something, I didn’t like it, I tried to tell him that, he got an attitude. The whole thing I’m pissed off about is that on my first night, the night, the very moment where I’m supposed to feel like it’s getting better, I am being given bullshit over nothing.

I am just searching for that feeling, I know it’s there.

***

When I woke up of course I wasn’t so angry.

The pendulum keeps swinging you see, I’m excitable like a little kid. One minute angry, the next, I’m thinking about something else, it is good to have the mind of a child in such ways.

I’m too focused on moving ahead with this momentum to bother getting worked up when it is all the same emotion, I am worked up, I am excited, not on the surface, but deeper, the anchor of my soul is being hauled up, I am ready to start moving and I need to keep my emotions in check, I can’t afford to lose focus.

Girls usually have a good cry – I don’t have that ability to just unload the emotional excess like that.

I need to get back on my meditation and training basically to focus.

I’m doing my meditation, I’m organising my stuff I trying to keep it on the track.

***

I seem to remain in this space where I’m not getting active about what I need to do, but I am very happy that my house is organised, I seem to be clinging to the moment now that I am experiencing it. I fought so hard for so long for this and it’s a shame that I can’t really savour it.

Well the reality is this has been my worst trading day this year, I have taken a massive $10k hit, because I let my hedges fall away and I have been plastered on my USD positions that had no hedge. Euro, Cad and Aussie crosses no hedge, and I’m getting hammered. I have had to learn the hard lesson about letting hedges fall away at this level.

I have to cling on to something. I am making a lot of money, but I know deep down I’m making it the wrong way, I’m losing too much on the other side to be proud of my efforts.

What I can say is even though I know this will confine me for a while, it’s as I said when I took this risk, if I get caught, if I get stuck, at least I will be at a level I am happy to maintain, I am making $6k a week now, and even if I can’t move forward, it doesn’t frustrate me because we know the pattern, we know how you hold the line at one level for months, then one day it simply just rips free and you go storming to the next level.

If I’m maintaining at $6k for the next few months, I am ready to see it rip hard to $10k+ later in the year, just as I’ve seen it happening before. We just have to hold the line for however long it takes.

If I am making $6k p/week now which is the the bottom end of my end of year prediction, I am clearly well on pace, and can afford to continue to let the thing blow off.

***

I decided to get active – I decided that even though my house was organised, and my money was looking better than I thought, I still needed to move on my accom for amsterdam, I need to work it out. I started on airbnb and realised how much I needed to do to sort that out. It quickly dawned on me that somehow I had messed this up and it was going to cost me money to stay in amsterdam.

I needed to come up with a plan fast. I thought I would book a budget single room – all the airbnb’s are $100+ now and none are near the city. Why not just get a room near the city and have everything easy?

But then I realised even the rooms were all well over $300 for 3 nights too, I mean, I budgeted $75 p/night for the first part of my trip . . . and I do have a few grand more than I thought I would, making sure the beginning of your trip is smooth seems like a good thing to spend a bit of extra money on.

But it comes down to connecting it all up, how am I leaving amsterdam, from where? Well well now. Once again, options are limited because the window has started tightening.

I just went man, on the thursday I can just catch a bus straight to copenhagen for $80 and it will be 12 hours, but it arrives at 9.30 in copenhagen and so I will inevitably have to get some sleep. It will probably be a ratty sleep, but that’s the game. 3 nice nights in amsterdam, followed by a rough night on the bus, followed by 3 nice nights in copenhagen. It seems a lot simpler when I don’t have to fuck about in hamburg and I still keep my costs down to $700 plus food, which is pretty good given this is supposed to be pricey.

I need a decent list of why I am going to auckland – what are my priorities

obviously if I get all this done and head back on friday, it will be victory.

The data recovery won’t be til next week. The jobs I need to go at tomorrow and the reality is, well I will just have to take cash off my card again. I am waiting for the scans I get tomorrow to unlock my paypal and pay for my domain names.

I have booked the bus and vaulted straight into sorting out my amsterdam accom. I don’t know if I narrowly escaped or these conditions aren’t unusual – as it turns out, there isn’t much on offer at a different time of year – there just isn’t much in the centre of amsterdam, and there’s nothing under $80, I don’t know what I was thinking.

The facts are my hotels are pretty cheap and close to town compared to the airbnb options – if you want to pay $80 a night, you get a caravan or a boat 10km out of town.

Copenhagen and Stockholm are not looking good in this way for hotels and you need the airbnb. You have to do it anyway, so deal with it.

***

Day 2, I am smashing it up again although I have completely lost my keys which enraged me, a lot is going on, there was a move in the AUD that started slaughtering me, I grabbed the big $600 money on the AUDNZD, and then it reversed, perfect move. I am now on $5600 for the week, I can’t see us missing $6600 and making it not just our biggest week but 2 weeks of $6k on the trot.

That is putting out a big call that we will smash $10k this year. It’s telling me the move up could be on right now, and if that’s the case, then the utter spanking I got on tuesday seems to make sense and I will ride it out, because it’s already started moving up without me pushing it.

But more importantly I got my last $700 from the other client, got the magic bullet mini-juicer, I got my paypal unlocked and was able to pay off my domains, I moved onto the insurance which although was not a nice price, I realised it would not have to be paid for until I left.

it means I had about $2k unlocked today and all I have to pay for now is the data recovery, wireless speaker,and my bookings and that’s it. I booked the baltic ferry, so it’s back to my list I need to

Now it’s finally coming to a head. I need $300 to pay for copenhagen, and I can’t pay by paypal. I can’t unlock that last grand and well . . .

I saw it, I had to give it up. Fighting for $600 when it was beginning to jeopardize my trip was stupid, I already need to get used to the idea that

But that’s okay because I have locked in copenhagen, and lined up a sweet spot for stockholm too.

$1160 down for travel costs and that’s 10 days. $116 is over budget but this is the most expensive part of my trip. They are also all the longest journeys that aren’t by plane, all my other trips are only a few hours tops, all the longest and most expensive journeys are in the beginning, and they’re the closest together, I have at least 4 days everywhere after helsinki other than through ukraine.

You’ll see that certain cities are expensive simply because they are well travelled. I’m going to know this now.

We can tackle all our bookings down at the farm. Next comes the music.

It does seem like airbnb has lost a bit of it’s vibe. But I keep remembering, it won’t be long until these costs become meaningless.

***

I don’t know if I said anything, I must have written something but lost the update – but I was bowled so hard I had no choice but to go to action.

First I discovered, yes that I had taken in the wrong hard drive and I do remember writing here about how I could see that I was lucky I found out before I left and not on wednesday.

But then the . . .

Oh damn, now I remember everything I lost, I will have to recap.

You see now my main computer has blown up, I was just moving through my whole priorities for reengaging with the content.

I realised I had to pick up the strands of content based on our original “items” – the master to-do list.

The songs, the videos, what we’re working on now, that was all on my main computer, and now that’s blown up, I can’t even find an reentry point – I just wanted to do second chances and override protocol but those are the songs I was last working on, those are the songs that I now can’t move forward with until I get the recovery.

The good news now is that that shouldn’t be a problem, and obviously I will have to go back to auckland to deal with it.

I will have no main computer now, so my set up is my set up, I need to get all my audio and video programs onto this laptop. I had to do that anyway but now I don’t have the luxury of doing it while I do my archive work at the same time.

Once again we can buy fruityloops for $50. We can do it right now. Samplitude, but now I’m wondering how to record DJ mixes . . . use 2 laptops . . . no wait.

The speaker is bluetooth, it doesn’t need to be plugged in. So that means you can do it all on one computer, you will be recording into samplitude while doing the mix in serato. The speakers are playing the mix through the jack. Though I would do it with two.

Premiere we have around here, ready to go. I need mpegconverter.

Fruityloops
Samplitude
premiere
mpegconverter

That may be it. Maybe something to capture youtube.

Photoshop, well, we can try and install the old version separate from the rest. The facts are, everything we need, we can get, and installing the software and recording a mix could be my mission now.

Except I can’t hear the mix, no bluetooth yet.

Samplitude is done, photoshop I’m working on

fruityloops, it appears is about NZD$150, premiere, I just need to find premiere, which I have, and now realise I have photoshop as well and what I’m doing installing CS4 on this computer is kind of dumb.

Hopefully it doesn’t fuck up the premiere and photoshop installs.

It seems to come down to whether I should buy fruityloops and given that it’s only $10 more if you buy the baby version, and then upgrade, I should do it.

Yes you can use it on multiple computers, I would only need it on 2, I would never ping their breach detection.

You see I still want to run a desktop, in place of the one that’s blown up, and all this software can now go on there as well.

If I can say I only need to spend $150 on fruity to be up to spec, what then?

Well now you are ready to do music, video, art and web.

And can I easily get all this again? Other than sequoia the rest is all like $300. It’s not long that $300 would be meaningless in the bigger picture. Of course it is the content that matters.

CS4 I don’t really use that much, it’s only there now for dreamweaver and so I at least have entry level access to the range of adobe platforms. It will do.

Now I just have to populate the content, the songs I need to do, the videos.

It all maps back to the items list. noob eats, the archive vids, the tour vids, the kurb dvd archive.

The songs now, the songs after, and the songs after that.

We need all the songs so we can see them. We need to see noob eats so we can finish it. Then I have a 3 pronged task that I can simply get stuck into.

Once the other hard drive is recovered I can start bubbling on them all. All the songs. All the videos, we are closing in.

You’ll snap back to it.

I was angry that it wasn’t working out and I was getting slammed again, but I knew deep down, none of my data is in danger.

If you had that speaker and all up to estonia booked you’d be running out of things to do.

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Human Farm

by Matt Romantech on July 22, 2017

I AM BOOKED.

But their is an issue with my ukraine visa – 15 days and it costs $135. The russian visa is also $125 and apparently it is not so easy to get.

I think that I am going to try to get the visa but I have to be ready to be disappointed and in a way, not that disappointed, because I knew that my plan was a really big dream and that ultimately not everything was going to work out. Last year when I originally planned these details I didn’t even bother going to moscow, it was too much of a trip.

By the looks a british company will do it for $220. That seems like a lot. I mean my whole russian trip is going to cost me $40 a day.

I am starting to feel right now that moscow is the first casualty and it won’t be the last, and it means I can go to poland for a bit.

I am thinking of losing vilnius as well because I have to enter belarus through minsk airport.

In the end I cut moscow and vilnius and poland. It just hit me that I am supposed to be chilling and relaxing.

When I am at my airbnb and I am checked in and ok and good, I am happy. It is when I have a problem because I have to get to the train station and catch the right train and then get to my new airbnb. I think I would enjoy myself making less stops and having less of all of that.

***

I was pretty angry again, I think it has to happen. Maybe I will still be angry when I go away. It just has to be. It just is what it is.

I got angry about the data, I’ve tried so hard to keep it all together and so often it is just so frustrating to manage. I woke up late, the data recovery, the new phone I bought, I gotta run around in cold and rain trying to sort this shit out and I feel like a moron that my timing is so bad, I need to sort the internet for the farm tomorrow, I need my phone to give me information and communication.

I am frustrated everything is all over everywhere and I can’t manage it. When I go down to the farm it will be the same vibe, what’s here? What’s not here? Whatever is there, is staying there and is going to get put somewhere for good.

I think it’s pretty fundamental that I set up my studio to get into some archive work as soon as. It’s archiving and setting up the place.

I will come back and be seriously ready to move the stuff out of my room and take it down there. I will need to do some shopping.

The preparations I need to make for my trip are apps, the speaker, and then coming back to collect the data recovery. This could be monday.

I could wait and then leave, or leave and come back to collect. It seems like even after 4 more car trips there might be still more stuff. I think one journey with my dad or john taking the fridge freezer and a bunch of plants will make sure I get everything in the end. A few old things can stay behind.

I think it will be fine you just have to take it day by day. It may take you to spend the money to go up and down, you just have to feel it out.

***

Well I went down there and the internet got put on. So it’s all good. As I suggested, I feel it’s time to get everything down there, everything together.

Once the data recovery is done, I am properly engaged with that process, where is everything, is everything as it should be, where it should be. Ideally I would have a month to do this but 3 weeks will just have to do.

It is getting easier. I just made my new biggest trade ever, $500.

Suddenly I’m onto my container. The fencing, has to be done, otherwise how are we going to control the paddocks so that animals are eating all the grass we don’t care about and where we are trying to make trees and gardens and such, animals aren’t coming. There seems to be no point in keeping animals unless somebody wants to. but they have to eat the grass

your garden would be tomatoes, pumpkins, capsicums, basil, lettuce, beets and maybe some sweet peas and corn, food that tastes good when it’s fresh from the garden.

broccoli you can grow in NZ so we will definitely be growing a shitload of broccoli. It’s just about mainitaining a baseline. The people who grow the broccoli and farm the chickens probably don’t understand they don’t add much value. But they think they do. That’s what counts.

The facts are that once we start need a lot of vegetables we will have them supplied at dirt cheap rates that make growing them seem pointless. Just be aware. It’s the people you’re farming, not the vegetables. Remember this when you’re building out.

it’s not the animals, the veges, or the fruit trees.

***

I came up with a good plan for the fencing. It’s a good plan. Just extend the property as it is to make a small zone for humanity. It’s the humans I am farming so it’s the humans that need to be happy. I can spend less money on fencing and trees, while focusing on a smaller area to make good first before proceeding.

I am going over all the writings and the plannings. I feel eager to shoot down to the farm and get onto it, setting up my set up, because all the main work I need to do now is apps and archiving.

Bills I have to pay and trips I have to make just have to be dealt with.

I just need to make sure I have food and cutlery and bedding and everything for my set up.

There’s no doubt I can start setting up for my songs and getting reorientated towards my content, it’s good to do this now before the data recovery comes in, otherwise i’m trying to set up while I deal what it is I get.

The songs have to be worked on, put in the mix relentlessly. My master archive of everything must eventually be formed. Then I can possibly work one or two days to do the final shots for noob eats with greg and I can jam that up.

Pushing these things out of the way lets us see a new light, working through new songs and picking and choosing. My video vibe is simply new songs. Let the music videos roll until we can begin a new era once again. We have a time of archiving to work through and we can derive a lot of content from that to put into new music videos.

New content can be fed through to wake up social media.

After second chance, I said override protocol has to get out the door. Then comes Angry fruit, and work the spread. Whispers is in the finishing stage but we are holding back, incognitus enters next, possibly looking for a partner to make release. Isn’t it crazy how quickly things are coming back together and we know that everything simply starts again where I left off.

Music pushes videos and social media, we will return to the RCTV and Kurb Archive Project concepts when we are ready to review this material.

The next items on the list a really inevitable. Russian, fashion and . . . my blogcast. I could do an illiquidity international version. I just realised what makes illiquidity relevant – I did it through the trump election period so it captures the hysteria. This series will be more about my travels. It is also about the fact that I have to return to my DJ archiving and at the end of that I’m going to want to mix some tunes and I also want to push my new tunes, so, there’s going to be dnb, but I want to do different stuff.

It’s not a priority goal. But if I’m mixing down my tunes, and doing DJ archiving, and starting to listen to new stuff by using a new technique of combing beatport and youtube, then I’m going to end up putting little mixes together and that is good. If I talk some about the market, trading philosophy and travels and radicalism then

I think we will go for the music markets and marxism.

Or why not just stop trying to be clever and just say trading and transgression with tracks in the mix. music markets and marxism.

radical lifestyles, trading tips and deep tracks in the mix. tactical radicalism.

trading tips and tracks in the mix for tactical radicals.

thats it. nice work. What’s the big plan? It’s content. You put your content out, you might get some fans. As in other people who are going to get turned on to the vibe because you are slowly feeding out the information in an entertaining format rather than smashing them with too much too soon – there’s no quick way to know what I know. Don’t even try, why would you, you are trying to create the beginning of an international tribe.

I am able to talk about the whole vision. Travel the world, live in countries which are cheap when the weather is good, work from an established base being built in this country, do some trading, learn some online skills to keep you in money, but also team up with me, I’m going to be renting these places, okay, here it is. A lot of the guys coming through uruguay, vietnam and kiev – they are my guys who may even possibly be from dnb angle or a marxist angle, who have stumbled into going jetset and trading.

That’s the tip.

There are certain things I can’t delve too deeply into such as girls. I mean you can say “I love the girls” but you can’t really go much further. Again it’s one of those things, let them step into a world.

It’s all a drum and bass video. It’s all an ad for trading. It’s all some tyler durden shit. But the result is the same. Come to vietnam, to uruguay or to kiev. We sell the lifestyle.

Get on a plane. come. When do I learn to trade? When do we start doing marxism? You can start by working in the bar. Listen to the podcast, I’m sure you do, I’m sure you do trade, so trade some more, learn more, test more. You want to do marxism? Turn people on, one by one. Get on your twitter. Tell people what you’re doing, you live on a commune, you earn money online, you’re living it, all comrades need to come and build the revolution. You have to pay to visit but if you want to be a part of it all you have to do is book yourself in and learn to make yourself so useful we can’t kick you out.

I am not a salesman. I am doing branding. It is becoming obvious that the tourist brand is our biggest brand, because we are farming humans, this way we attract humans into our farms, and once they are out of their own country and dependent on us, stateless in this way, we have greater control over them. We can ask them to work as many hours as they would at home to cover the cost of their upkeep, even though they are in a country where costs are significantly lower.

we’re getting 20 hours out of some random westerner, who thinks they’re getting $350 worth of value, which I provide at a share of the cost of the rent and food. $50 maybe. We asked what they can do. Well 12 hours skilled work online or management, 20 hrs, in the bar or just doing the day to day jobs, they would be managed by a senior who would deploy them for the purpose of attracting other westerners to come to us.

You see in this way you remember I said I wanted to make a rich friend in these different cities I could visit all over the world, doing some vibe where I’m there for a couple of months, and then moving on. Now I am establishing my own scene in cities I pick, and of course if I connect with a strong ally in a certain city, I will look to make moves there.

Man my brain sometimes, check this.

We say to a rich friend overseas, I will buy your property off you for twice what it’s worth, if you put half the money into my investment fund, which I will then give straight to you, as deposit on the property. I will pay you back the full value of the property over 10 years at 10%. He doubled his investment, with absolutely no risk because he already put up the collateral.

He already has his money back, if we didn’t pay him he’d get his property back, and be right where he started. Zero risk. It’s just a means to pump it up. I would have 10 years to make the payments out of zero capital, but then I also have the property, I own it,

It’s a way of getting a rich friend to invest with zero risk, I take all the risk, begin confident in 10 years,

I’m saying, do you want to invest into my business, what I’m doing? Have you got a property?

If I got a mortgage, which I could because I own 50% already, I could just pay him out straigt away.

$200k property in uruguay, He gives me $200k to invest, I give it back to him as a deposit on the place I am buying for $300k. I get a loan for $100k, and the bank pays him out. I owe the bank $100k, I pay them back at 6% or what ever it is. The dude just straight made $100k.

What do I get? Well I get the $200k property but now I have to pay back $300k. $700 a week for 10 years. We know that eventually after a few years, that will slowly become insignificant. Up against $20k a week it is nothing. If it hasn’t already, meaning we could double the equation, and that would be a very nice property that would earn something.

Or of course I could try and convince them it was radical. Buy property, sell it to the trust and let the trust pay you back, your dividend is you get to be involved at my level. You’ve bought seniority and the right to manage my property I bought off you as long as your performance is maintained – that is you are able to pay yourself the money I owe you.

What could be simpler? We could give him certain rights – he can live there for 5 years. He will obviously have the opportunity to keep as much of the extra earnings as he likes, it doesn’t matter to me, I have been able to purchase land interest free. If he fails to pay himself, he can be removed as manager of the property’s commercial activity, but he has to be allowed a room for 5 years.

It’s a way of attracting young guys with some money into the ranks of stakeholders. especially if a kiwi guy has money to bring to uruguay or elsewhere.

$50k for a 3 bedroom apartment in uruguay say, nothing flash, not in the centre of town, I give the guy $25k, and a $100p/week pay out but he has to make $100 out of his flat to pay me or I want 20 hours, which he may take anyway who knows. But really, he pays the $100, I mean he pays nothing, I pay nothing, he just stays there for 10 years.

Give me $25k for 10 years free rent, it’s $50 per week.

But it doesn’t look like that. What it looks like is I now owe him the value of the house and he pocketed $25k so he feels rich, and I’m going to give him money. He can live in the house and take the money, I would need to get 12-20 hours out of the rest of the house to make that $100 up. Or he can take charge of making somebody else work 12-20 hous to make $200, and then keep all the money cos what do I know?

It is better to give him the room for free and pay him $100 in order to take the rest of the house, but even if you get 12-20 hours for that you still have to manage them, though likely they would be hotel staff, or we would airbnb the room for up to $300 p/week.

I reckon you back them to be the boss and buy in. If they are the boss of someone else’s hours, do you think they will be utter dicks? well maybe. But we might hope not.

Will they get an airbnb and keep all the money?

No because the airbnb belongs to me and if we rent the whole place they have to split. Every week they get $100. But some days of weeks they have to stay in the hotel and we get $300-500.

On the weeks there is no airbnb, they still get $100, but, we might fit someone else in there variously, meaning we should pick up 12 hours here and there.

Though obviously what we do is encourage them to have a little assitant or two, they all – or some – move out for the airbnb, but when they’re in, out $100 by captains their hours for the cause.

I paid $25k and got a place worth $50k. I made $25k.

He sold his place for $25k profit and got 5 years free rent aswell

It’s a scheme to get young guys who have only money for a deposit in the west to buy property for me, and wed themselves to my clutches.

His $100 is held in the same regard as anyone else’s normal hours. If he goes somewhere else, he only loses his $100. No. He is given 12 hours. Which again is excellent.

Take a kiwi guy with $50k, get them to do the number on the uruguay apartment, then send them to vietnam or kiev for half the year where they do 12 hours for you.

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Safe Progress

July 15, 2017

I am slowly seeing I can move forward again, it is safe to come out. I look in the mirror and my skin looks like shit. But I have not put on much weight and it’s true, as I’ve gotten older I’ve lost the puppy fat off my face and my facial structure look good […]

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Investing in Bush

July 10, 2017

I stayed up all night getting obsessed with this kaikohe property. It seemed crazy at the time, and is of course a bad idea, and when I was talking about it at the family lunch everyone was more surprised than usual that I would be going on about more bits of land, though somewhat aware […]

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Really Moving

July 9, 2017

I am ready to move and I am even getting some quite nice moments where I am neither deep in my megalomania or in some kind of frenzied despair where I’m at war with my mind and body. It is hard to focus. I just end up looking at twitter because it’s there, my only […]

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Schemish Plans

July 7, 2017

I just do the one where I sit here all day literally and write about schemish plans. Just to highlight, my biggest schemish plans I came up with were: – flat in dunedin – international honey pie set ups in vietnam and uruguay as well kiev directed towards tourists and our people – exchanging cash […]

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April Sun in Uruguay

July 5, 2017

I just sat there and wrote another 4000 words, I hit it every day. My trading and my words, I feel like the soon-to-be-reknowned intellectual in his study smashing out his ideas relentlessly, waiting for the breakthrough that enlightens all that has come previous. Just as I have realised the shops are not integral, so […]

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Home of the Businesslord

July 3, 2017

The move is arranged at least, I have to wake up at some ridiculous time again, but I just have to do it because I have to. I feel like I’m sitting around, I don’t know what to do. I just want it to work out. I am recovering physically and mentally. But it doesn’t […]

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Return of Free Rent

July 2, 2017

It is way past time I began to get myself organised. There comes a point where you can’t just keep going on and on about how hard it’s been and how you can’t cope when it begins to fall back. It’s that one I’ve talked about, the big problem is so big, you don’t see […]

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Dreams and Nightmares

June 28, 2017

I had a terrible night. I felt awful, I couldn’t sleep, I woke up late again, rushing crazily around once again. I just was awake in the night thinking of it all crushing me. I just can’t connect it. On one hand there’s the trading, get on the plane, go to russia, meet girls. Come […]

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