Just got back from the http://Upfm.dj Solar Series at Tahaki reserve in Mt. Eden.
Basically the radio station where i play with our Beat Dungeon outfit every Sunday at 4pm – except not today because they’re doing a live broadcast from the gig – upfm, holds summer parties and Beat Dungeon was lucky enough to get to open up when the party kicked off at 12pm.
We only had 40 minutes between the two of us, NSU and I but I wasn’t complaining, I’m trying to get more active “raising my profile” and I’m happy to help the upfm crew because though they’re more on the doof doof tip, they’re solid into the scene and the parties, and y’know – I can get into some “dance” beats.
I played:
“Vale of Tears” Lenzman
“Ghetto Blues” Zyon Base
“With You” Electro Soul System
“Far From Down To Earth” Bionic1
“I Can’t Get Over You” Calibre
“Balaclava” – Nu:tone
“Aware” – Er.ic
Also wanted to play “Tell Me” by Specific which is wicked and “Brother” by Eros and Atmospherix but I don’t know if it’s some crazy DRM bullshit from Beatport or my burner, or my discs or what – it wasn’t too flash to be honest, still having problems getting the discs to play sweet, and those last two wouldn’t play at all.
Usually I’m backed up to the hilt when I play, but today uhm yah. Y’know I was up till all hours dreaming about my money. I’m tellin’ you I gotta start hiring.
“FInd me 5 good men, I say!”
I just need to find people to do what I do for me so I can focus on just being y’know. All neurotic over here, having my little life dramas and maybe even writing a tune or two.
So yeah, you know me, I didn’t get up til 11.40 I just grabbed a shower, my discs and my camera and cruised over to see what was required of me.
After our set the crowd was steadily building, I bought my old video camera so we could get around and get a few sound bites, which is sort of a tradition we’re trying to kick off, all about more video happening, more stories, more authenticity . . . although the footage I took from our last upfm party at the secret garden is still yet to see the light of day, to me it’s about training and experience in getting on with it.
Just want to get to the point where I can play a set and film some stuff and take care of both, handle it.
The gig isn’t over yet but it was getting damn hot out there and after a couple of hours and a couple of beers I figured I’d be best placed heading home to smoke a big joint and get on with my shit.
I don’t know if it was the beers I had but I was kind of reflective, you know me, I’m always kind of reflective if you give me half a chance – as in , alcohol – but hey, don’t worry when I’m having a good time I’ll let you know.
The beats were booming and it was a Scorcher. There were dudes getting sporty playing cricket and there were plenty of girls “dressed in their summer clothes”, it was good vibes. Y’know the quintessential New Zealand summer experience, Sunday, relaxing . . .
I was trying to connect with it.
Y’know summer vibes.
When was the last time I did this kind of thing, went to an outdoor event with friends, drunk some beers, chilled out? Y’know, what normal people do?
Y’know? I write songs about this shit, that’s what liquid funk is all about. The sun is out, the beats are good, the vibes are positive. Girl, you look good, and all our friends are here and we’re having a great time.
But I’m not connected with it. I’m connected with a bunch of dreams, a bunch of ideas of what is supposed to be, but it’s not really real, and it can never last. And so instead I chain myself to my computer, running my businesses, making my beats, planning gigs, trying to recreate the feeling, the meaning of simple contentment, hoping that somehow I’ll get there.
I guess, some of us are different. We’re not normal. We can’t just stand in the sun and be content, and that’s my problem, I can’t be satisfied, not yet.
I have to go home. I have to get on with it. You can stand in the sun for a minute, an hour, a day, but night always comes, and I need something that will satisfy me tomorrow and the next day, something that feels so good that I’m not afraid to die, and whether that’s really something I saw in a movie or it’s just because I “haven’t met the right girl yet” . . . I have to get back to it.
Maybe if I write a song, maybe if I smoke a cigarette, maybe if I go out tonight, I’ll think about it and know it’s there. The sun is out, and we can play.
But I’m not there yet, and maybe I’m heading in the wrong direction but things have never been simple for me so I’ve got to take my own path.
