Been having a few weird vibes this week.
I’m trying to make sense of the world here! Sometimes it’s just better if you keep your head down, not worry so much and get on with it. That’s what most people tell me anyway, I’m sure they’re right but that’s not ever going to be me.
The week started strangely because I did not have any pressing affairs in business and I’m still getting used to moving away from the bootstrapping mindset. Now it’s time to get moving forward with some other more meaningful projects.
But I didn’t want to push the music too hard I’d already had a good run over the last month with a bunch of new tunes particularly “Kings” and another tune that is currently titled “Buzzed Out Bees High On Honey Puffs” but I’m sure that name is likely to be amended, but they’re both pretty sweet.
Since then I’ve just been playing with a few more chilled out ideas and really thinking about putting together something all official to come out under Soul Science, probably a mixtape or summin.
Just today I’ve been sizing up the idea of putting out a new mixtape too just to say “I’m back”.
But yeah I was in my head pretty much earlier in the week thinking how to put all my business goals right long term. Set and forget, all sorted and not a problem. Then the other night I was getting paranoid about my hearing (I’ve just started to notice I’m getting hearing damage and it really irritates me) and I started getting on some trip about the computer emitting some super damaging frequencies and long story short I busted up the power supply which was quite a sobering moment.
I had to go to bed anyway so I was pretty unhappy to be honest.
Y’know, my computer with all my business information, all my music, pics – my life – everything . . . y’know, wasn’t going.
I started thinking of an old song I remembered as a kid and suddenly I had this sinking feeling time was slipping away from me. Is there still time?
Is it too late now to change everything, has the ship already sailed?
Have I not grown, am I still trapped by the dreams of a younger man?
Because as soon as I asked those questions, it’s the same answer. What are my I choices, give up? Stop? That’s just doesn’t make any sense to me, why would I stop? What would I do?
By facing those questions I acknowledge that they are real and that these questions matter, and become important ideas I can integrate with my work, because this is the human experience and I’m adding a new inspiration for ideas I can explore.
I was thinking of this song and this artist Van Morrison and how I never liked him as a kid and it’s the same, it sounds like old people’s music. But maybe that’s the reason I’m thinking about some of his music now because it’s got that “worldly” vibe about it. That’s what it is.
“Worldly” you take that vibe and play with it.
Even that song “I am woman” that’s just raw hard hitting lyrics. What am I on about?
I was thinking about Van Morrison and getting older, and thinking it could bring something more edgier to my work. I wasn’t just being hopeful. Well of course I was because I’ve got no choice.
To be credible I have to be credible as an individual and trying to act like I’m still 21is just not going to be real.
But it also adds danger to the narrative because there’s this underlying sense of desperation and I like working with that, it enriches the story. These are the motivations that drive storylines, motivations that are real and that’s what I want to be about, not some indulgent bullshit.
So I Fixed my power supply and then my internet went down. I wrote a couple of new tunes. I wanted to go out shopping but I had too much to organise after being offline and for the gig tomorrow.
I felt weird. I had a mix, thought about a mixtape. I could be a cool DJ, y’know . . .
