Well I guess right now all I can do is post my blog.
Maybe if I post my blog enough times it will like suddenly into a proper sweet site and a wicked youtube presence and all the rest.
I still pretty bummed out about my camera not working I felt like taking it back to JVC and explaining to them how I been trying to do this shit for years now and all I got is one lousy Reality Compound video and it’s all kind of fading into the past, and they sell me a shitty camera.
It’s all their fault.
I go around doing my posters, I have to to get some damn exercise. And it’s at night, driving around the streets.
I don’t think I’ll ever stop doing the posters. I dig it.
Tonight I was sticking up the posters and thinking about my art. I guess I always see some other dudes posters and start thinking about what the hell I’m doing. I dunno, I got this mixtape coming together.
I’m older that’s for sure, I think about all the music and stuff I’ve done and I’m no longer thinking about how I have to bundle it all into something, I’m already walking around, the sum of all my experiences and everything I’ve ever done.
Sat around making beats and smoking up and wasting time, did lots of that.
Quite a few people liked my tunes. But it just went on and on. It’s still going on. Even though I pit-stopped to get involved in business, that story is till going on, and I walk down the street slapping up my posters for work and I’m thinking it’s all about framing.
My framing is now my character. I am not the best beat making DJ in the world, my beats are deep but not the deepest.
. . . these are my deep beats, there are many like them but these are mine . . . heh heh
I make music, but that’s not really enough to make people care.
I care about art, and i care about communication and I remember when I was younger I used to talk about using music and art to communicate with people in a deeper way then just uh um “getting to know” them and “hanging out”.
But whatever, recognition, understanding of yourself, I’m not just making beats any more, that’s not what I’m about.
It’s more challenging.
I still have to try and write sweet beats but I also have to kind of “be” it and also present that, do the youtube thing, I’ve made it twice as hard on myself but that’s where I’m at with my artistry.
Maybe the beats will be shit and the vids will be shit, but um uh I gotta be what I gotta be. I understand more now why I do business and write this damn blog rather than making beats because I think I said something about despising hipster scum, well y’know broke muso’s with no clue. I’m not into it.
I don’t want to be a muso if it means I have to be some broke wanker that’s everything in their attitude and nothing in their wallet. I’m not keen. I have to stay alive in it that’s my buzz, that’s my legitimacy.
Let me explain this: It’s not about money compromising your art. It’s about art disctating your lifestyle because your broke. I can’t deal with it.
My art is not about me having no cash and no flash.
But I still think maybe I am getting older and I should be encouraged to go away. That’s the pressure of external logic I feel. I’m not 21, it’s not fresh, it’s not new, no one cares.
But I don’t have to you see, because I’m in business and I can do what I like. I work hard and this is my hobby. In my spare time I like to go deep.
I think that’s interesting. I am not the big star, I’m just some dude. I’m just a businessman. I’ll put my posters up in the night. I’ll think about what happened once one night once upon a time.
I’ll play out my hand and I won’t bluff. I dunno some dudes are married, in their dead end job, there’s a desperation there that’s good currency. I guess my trade is in the fact that those ends are still open.
There’s something romantic about a last chance. Last dance before closing.
