Well how am I going to be all “real” then? Y’know, if I’ve got all these ideas?
Do I want to be the one having the free party? Bringing back the vibe? No, it’s that I want to be part of a scene that makes it worth having a free party.
That’s what it is. I am never going to find that scene if I don’t look for it. And I need to be ready to find it before I start looking.
I’ve been listening to Kanye West “Can’t Tell Me Nothin’”.
“Had a dream I could buy my way to heaven, when I awoke a spent it on a necklace.”
Killer tune. I know it’s a couple of years old but I love that cheesy dramatic hip hop. “Hate it or Love it” is another one of my favourites, as well as “Signs”. Great Pimpin’ music.
“Wait til I get my money right . . . “
Pretty much the recurring theme since I started this blog!
“Excuse me, did you say somethin?”
I know I should be grateful that basically I probably won’t be poor, and I probably will be rich when I’m older but you now how life goes, you want what you don’t have.
Or I just want a challenge that is meaningful. Y’know I’ve deciphered as time moves on money will be less of a problem so I am trying to shift my priorities now.
I got a mixtape coming out, making all sorts of preparation for that.
Oh yes let’s make a list. Good Idea. I don’t know if making a mixtape is really living.
But who’s to say it isn’t? Point is, yeah we’ve started moving. But where are we going?
And who’s we? Haha.
I want to get the websites sweet. I want that record to exist and for it to be an accurate one.
Wait a second I thought you were all about the free parties and bring the scene back?
Now you’re worried about building a website? Yes! First things first. Get the mixtape out, have a sweet website. Do some videos. Have something you’ve done.
That’s me, that’s me established, so I can go out with a track record. With something under my belt. At least having something to show for myself. I don’t want to big note, you just gotta have at least done something, whether people take it seriously or not. As long as it’s presented with some kind of distinction.
Who’s making the rules any more?
So what was I on about?
I can’t do what I want because I don’t have a website?
Sheesh. It’s taken me so long to work this money out and now I gotta feel like I’m starting all over again.
It’s a very long process of “then what?”. I was making a list wasn’t I? I dunno.
Keep calm and carry on. Carry on getting my money right hoping it will all work out. But I want to walk down the street with my shit sorted out. It’s like I said, I can’t pretend. Who cares how much money you’ve got or who you know or where you’ve been if you’ve got nothing you’ve done that speaks?
Nothing that’s real?
And I just feel I could speak, I could find my voice better if I was challenged by the people around me, or there was an essence or sense of progress.
I dunno, do I sound like I’m talking rubbish? What I mean is that whatever you feel okay with, that’s cool. I’ve got other things I feel I need to be. I accept that’s why I’m dissatisified, let’s face it, most of the time. Because I want something better.
Something better doesn’t mean I personally can lead some sort of revolution in thinking, I am just preparing myself to go out there in an artistic frame of mind so I can get to the next level. By rambling on this blog no less.
But if I can go out there and meet with like minded people who want to have free parties and to make are happen in some progressive way, I mean, I’m just saying I want to make my videos I guess.
And I want to um . . . yeah, it’s about people coming together positively in a positive environment and then that energy basically energising the art so that you’re motivated knowing that people are ready to participate spectating and collaborating.
I dunno keep calm and carry on, continue to make music and video and art and say something, and have experiences knowing that’s framed by other people simply being a community. The new underground. Again I flip back, do I need a new underground to make my videos?
All I need is to write the music and run the camera with the right ideas.
Seriously. There’s got to b eno one to impress. That’s what art is about.
That’s what’s real.
