What was I going on about? That my biggest problem right now is that I’m starting to become happy and I’m not used to it? Well look it’s complicated, okay? Y’know like facebook.
We want to improve and move forward, not just die in whatever hole I happen to end up lying in just because I happen to be smiling atr the time.
And I’m not sure it’s great for my artistic expression either, or this blog and anything else in that vein, it’s supposed to be an epic struggle for redemption and all that. It’s very confusing journeying into art and reality.
No one wants to know about some loser. But then no one wants to know about some smug prick either, that’s not a narrative. It may be just a false sense of security.
That’s probably what it is. I’m sure I’ll find something to be miserable about, you don’t have to worry about that.
But let’s move on because this is depressing me, I’m supposed to be here to work it out y’know, I get this flash just as I’m discussing something which allows me to move forward in my thinking but it’s not happening right now.
I’m supposed to be putting the pieces of the puzzle together, y’know, if I’ve got enough money, and I’m not really motivated to put the work in to become a bona fide player, then that leaves just my art, and I think I need a dose of inspiration, but then at the same time, the most important thing seems to be maintaining and consolidating the progress I’ve made in the last few months because as I suspected, what felt like pain was actually an opportunity to grow as a person and all that nonsense.
But hey, seems to have worked out, except I can barely concentrate right now. Yeah that’s right I’m all about the stream of consciousness that’s why my blog is so popular and uh widely read.
But I’d much rather write my blog than get judged by trying to impress some chick. Y’know, I just can’t be bothered trying to impress them anymore, and ironically I think that’s what makes me so impressive.
With art, well the situation with Dojo Inspectors was a bit of a bummer but I’m already looking into it and feeling that I need to improve the standard of the issue, which at least means I’m motivated, and of course I’ve finally done what will be the “Tough Love” mix which kinda made me wonder what the hell I did it for, so like a few dozen people here and there can be impressed and my mates don’t think I’m going to seed.
But I was talking about business which I guess remains as the default, money isn’t exactly going to drive women away or make me seem insignificant or give me less options now is it?
So yeah, I’m sure I’ll work it out, venting as I am want to do on my blog. I’m sure there’s some redeeming feature outside of being a distraction from smoking too many cigarettes and wondering what the hell I’m doing.
God what an awful blog post. I don’t even know what I’m talking about. I think I maybe need to work on cultivating my personal brand image – y’know unless my brand is going to a miserable whing moaning, unfulfilled pile of uh yeah . . .
I’m on a journey okay? I’m on a journey of art and discovery and all that. I’m reaching for artistic purity, don’t laugh, I am.
