<!– @page { margin: 2cm } P { margin-bottom: 0.21cm } –>
Okay today I am now happy again after before, when I was sad.
I am happy because although I missed my Beat Dungeon show I still managed to get in a good 4 hours mixing today, i’ll be honest that’ll be the longest I spent mixing in years. Most of my ideas for the detonate festival we’re playing for new years in a few days are sorted, and I’m actually keen to lay down another mix, but I have conflicted emotions on that subject.
Missed the show due to being locked out and having basically no patience for endless codes and security measures, I just did what I always do, hung around for 15 minutes and then buggered off.
Is that important?And I saw some of the 100 best videos of the decade, including The Mint Chicks and Fat Freddy’s and as usual felt inadequate about not being established.
Sheesh, there’s always something
But that’s what I like about happy smiling face feelings because they make you forget about some problem that you were having before.
What was that problem? I don’t know, there was the redhead model and ambrozia, but bizarrely, I don’t even care because of the music situation, I haven’t even got back to either of them. Two hot chicks both wanting and expecting to have an interaction, but I’m all sitting here because I wasn’t happy about the vibe around my art.
This Dojo Inspectors thing is depressing the hell out of me, everytime I get a musical vibe, I remember that Dojo Inspectors is basically, nothings happening, there’s nothing I can do, I just feel totally powerless. And makes me angry, and I feel saying well forget it, forget that.
If I can’t put out an album without all these problems, then I won’t, i’ll do something else. I’ll chase girls and work on my content. But isn’t it so typical? It’s too typical. Not 1 but 2 hot girls, and all of sudden I’m all like, too concerned about my artistic problems to care . . .
See this is why I write this damn blog. Because how else would I have come to realise I am a really negative person, as in, I tend to zero in on shit that I’m not happy about . . . you could say it’s a problem solving, improving ideal . . .
Mine eyes have seen the glory. I know it exists and I know it’s within my grasp, I just need to carry it home. That should be my positive affirmation so I can like totally self actualise and stuff.
But yeah, how am I supposed to put up with not having the things that are there, that I know I can have. That’s why I’m a negative bastard.
