I don’t know I worry I don’t have the inspiration any more but I’ve seen the way I am enough to know that as soon as I can settle down again of course my mind will turn to how to be expressive in art.
I’m not going to say that I feel old and I want to stop, because I wont want to stop. As I’m about to post later, maybe I don’t have the energy to jump around like a lunatic, maybe I don’t want to be all up in the club.
Maybe I just want to be in a room where I can make a song and do something weird on video? Y’know?
Keep enjoying it, and come back, still enjoying it.
Oh well, this is what I wrote in April:
Well a lots happened since I was last active on this blog and it’s time to start all over again which is kind of sad but it’s really about beig mature enough to accept that the path I’ve been on hasn’t been taking me to where I wanted to go or a place that was right for me.
There’s still work to be done, I’m still not ready right now to be who I want to be, and so I write, I indulge myself, I try to work through it and put it behind me.
Things change, people change but like I said, it’s the maturity to see that deluding yourself and hoping for the best isn’t going to be enough. Maybe his time I will learn to recognise when something is wrong and pull away in the short term before you end up entangled in a mess.
So kind of back at the start for me, now. Which is kind of hard to face, but again I’m mature enough to see there’s no point dwelling on the situation, I’ve gotta pick myself up and move on.
My plans are to stick with the format on my own terms, I still want to make tunes and I still feel that doing my mixtapes is the best way to push those forward because it means I can get my music out to an audience in a format designed for them. If anything comes of that, then great.
I’ll still do my DJ mixes also, and really start pushing my site as a place for the centre of my activity and video and fans. Obviously videos been something i’ve been trying to do for years now, hopefully now I’ll have the chance to rediscover my direction there.
In terms of gigs I will take what I can get, I’m toying with the idea of having my own night but it would be strictly business, it’s not something I want to do unless I feel like I want to do it, and honestly, I want to make my presence felt otherwise first.
I might have a night again one day, but that’s as much as I got to talking about here.
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