Life Is Just An Online Dating Update

Did I post this one? I dunno – not ready for the foul pit of internet dating yet, but we wouldn’t miss an opportunity for more words on our blog and chances to peddle all our nonsense!

Life is just an update that happens while you’re writing your stupid blog that you hope nobody reads.

I mean what a fail. The whole reason of not writing, and then doing an update is to further the purpose of making this blog fit for consumption and talk about stuff worth recording and worth sharing and makes me look good, but instead I just launch into another senseless ramble.

Not altogether fruitless as I realise I don’t need any mission statement, idealogical platform, whatever – I just need to get motivated and prepared for video work.

I need to get closer to the art through video, but I need to seek more creative purity in order to summon the motivation to lurch forward.

My website doesn’t need to be big drama, big sweeping statement, manifesto. What could be more effective for throwing down real vibes? Not like posing off and saying you’re all about this and that, but actually putting down, through video.

That’s the leap I have to make, I’m wandering about, repurposed from the duty of building my business, knowing money will probably just keep coming in, to the frustrating luxury seeking out more art but as the sketch for the “funky liquidation” – a youtube video idea – explores, making money with kurb is easy.

Moving forward in Drum and Bass and video and art is hard.

Girls are hard too, and this is what I’ve begun to believe – that my subconscious has caused me to act in ways that have avoided the dangers of getting in too deep with girls, because it threatens the growth and development of your art and your income to have some girl all tied up in your life.

And so deep down I can only just understand it,subconsciously, i chase girls, but only to a rational point, no girls are making me irrational at this juncture and it suits, but they’re ever waiting to vex me.

Even now gosh, I want to get my facebook sorted to talk to this girl, who’s much better than the rest because I actually like her.

But it’s too damn complicated. Which leaves me here now, I’m just doing my dating profile again, I don’t even know what’s going on I just know that my effort with the ladies is distinctly lacklustre. I don’t care! I can move forward to new levels with my business and my art which will buzz me from this point, why do I need some girl worrying me?

I just want to use my not caringness to my advantage now.

Here was my first new dating profile:

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funny like haha. Innocuous as

I am basically just a really sick, twisted, disturbed young man who only joined this site to meet girls so I can do completely sick disturbing bestiality to their innocent pets.

But I am also a friendly guy. Your mom will love me. I’m innocuous as, bro. To the max.

And though you can not underestimate the shrewd and conniving lengths I will go to to touch unsuspecting and untainted young animals in bad ways, you will be astonished at how I maintain a veneer of apparent normality, a good job, a nice car, a nice apartment, I eat out, I keep in shape, I DJ at clubs around town, I avoid products containing processed sugars.

The shocking truth of the matter is I have truly bizarre and outrageous pet fantasies and you probably shouldn’t have anything to do with a guy like me.

I am not funny, I am definitely not easygoing, I hate DVD’s and I hate the beach which includes but is not limited to any extended walking excursions.

I’m a interested in girls who own or otherwise have access to dogs, cats, rabbits, guinea pigs, budgies, goldfish, frogs, insects, reptiles, ferrets, rats, mice, pigs, sheep, badgers, wombats, snakes, axolotyls, goats, ponies, unicorns, care bears, crabs, dolphins, sharks, flying squirrels, flying lizards, penguins, parrots, pandas, tamagotchi, pokemon, sea monkeys, whatever.

I am hot for it.

here’s my new one:

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Hi, I’m Matt.

I don’t want a girlfriend. I don’t want to watch DVD’s and I hate the beach. I don’t think I’m unique, I’m just not average. But I guess I’d like to be more normal.

I wake up in my apartment, I look across the city, I drive my Black BMW to my favourite cafe where I break my fast and read the paper to catch up on local news as I conduct my business by email.

Once I have attend my meetings and engagements I return to my apartment. I wonder what the future holds. I wonder what eventualities are held amongst the infinite possibilities.

I make music on my computer, it’s just the way I talk when the universe speaks to me and I need to reply. Don’t we all just want to be understood? I DJ around town but part of me hates it. I have a little video camera I bought because I want to be able to film things. Tell stories.

I don’t want a girlfriend, but then again I don’t know what I want. I want more. I want less. I’d like to be more normal.

So you talk to a girl. You make plans. You meet up. You enjoy a pleasant evening with amusing conversation. I make smart comments, you laugh. I drive you home. And so it is.

I don’t want a girlfriend, but then again I don’t know what I want. Maybe life could be like a movie, or a music video, it’s like there’s this curtain that could just be pulled away to reveal so much more . . .

I’m sure there’ll be plenty of time for the whole DVD’s and beach walking thing, just . . . not for me right now.

I think I like the first one more, it’s more hard out, but I guess a lot of girls will just be like uhhhh??

Yeah forget it. I’m going with the bestialist one, I don’t care.

Tagged as: bestiality, BMW, online dating

Life Is Just An Online Dating Update

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