It’s all so relative. I was so smug when the recession tore through, since I was doing so well.
And I always claim to be so analytical. Well I don’t know how much longer I can sit around feeling poverty stricken because it’s doing nothing for my artistry. I had a feeling it could beat me down but I don’t think I can accept it any more.
It’s all relative. I guess I used to work hard because I ws so sick of being broke and I was so impressed with the feeling of power and possibility you have when the money is coming in.
Then I thought I could transcend it, and in one way or another I will, but right now . . .
I have to throw down. That’s what I had to do when I was putting on gigs, if you put on a gig, things will go wrong and you can’t just sit there paralysed by it. You have to get up and fight. It’s basically what makes special people, that’s what I don’t see when I look around, people give up the fight.
As soon as you give up fighting for your dreams, you’re half dead anyway. And that sounds all very inspiring but maybe people just don’t care.
Do I care? Every so often I feel like this place is a breeding ground, I’ve sterilized it so I can bring out new ideas.But the wait is so hard, but waiting is all you can do.
And I’m just not doing anything because I’m waiting for something truly worth doing, evil robot was worth doing when I did it, and so were all the beats I made, now I’m ready for whats worth doing next.
But what about relativity? Well sometimes you get a good ride like I did, and now I’m just kind of raw towards the truth, but every problem is an opportunity says the guru.
It’s my opportunity to actually use the time not worrying about my situation relative to how it was when the money was funnelling in but the fact that I have time and space – I’m a master of time and space!
That has got to be used in a smart way to plug the gaps. To grow something. If you know what I mean.
Heh heh what I mean is to get vital about it again, to sniff out the inspiration and then guzzle it down, work it out.
Do my video, put my nose down to start busting out new tunes. What happened to hunting down the art, the artists?
What? We prepare for the hunt. We wait out the winter, sharpening our spears.
I am preparing for the digital seance. I must channel the spirit, the vibe, the thing, the big, the do! A video, a video it must be! I’m getting fired up, I’m getting into it, finally!
Let’s do it! I am master of my time and this space, if I choose to break out and become relentlessly, uncomprimisingly creative, then there’s no one, nothing to stop me.
That’s why relatively, I pay high rent, and I have expenses to meet, and it’s a drag not to have the money to feel like everything’s going great. But I’m a master of my time and my space, and it has to reward enough, the reward that can only be taken if I’m stressing out I don’t live like a complete baller, and allow this opportunity for my artistry to bloom to go begging because I don’t accept the relativity of what’s staring me in the face.
