Philosophy Life

by Matt Romantech on November 15, 2017

Now I’m getting some good philosophy.

It takes awhile to come to you. Do you just want to run around the block every day for the rest of your life?

What do you want? To bone your russian wife?

It’s about finding the natural limit and then enjoying it. My training is at a natural limit, my food is maxed out for health, value for money and taste. It’s easier to be a weed grower than a rentier.

You have to allow the space for the conclusions to present themselves

The sunset is pretty awesome tonight, I feel lucky to be here, on my patch. But then what?

Yes I go around the world. Yes I get me a nice darya.

You run around the block, you practice your russian. You grow your veges, you turn them into juice and pies and curry and chili and pasta sauce, you do a hummus and a pesto, the food is good. A muesli.

A fit healthy western guy with his own farm who can speak some russian is going to pick up a babe, so don’t worry about that. If darya is the right choice, it will happen.

I’m just trying to join the dots, once you have your mower and your greenhouse, and you have a freezer now – you, just run around the block until what? Until darya turns up to be impregnated?

I thought a lot about it. In the end it does keep coming back to that. Your wife. You bone her, and tiny people pop out.

There is value in this thought, wondering if that is all there is, to run around the block and bone your wife, but I haven’t quite found the realisation it seems to be leading to.

It is soaking in that I will just go and get my dole and start on the weed, just let it flow.

I am smashing the russian and the training, I’m lifting and running as much as I want to be.

I don’t need to do anything else because none of it relates to any goal I have. Being very fit and speaking russian will get you a nice wife to impregnate.

The trading I am seeing again, I only have to be patient and not do anything brash, knowing that as the weeks and months move past me, I am slowly getting my foothold

***

There comes a point with the trading, probably at twice the level I’m at now, that not ramping, just replacing what’s going into the system, makes a good set amount of cash. A week like this, maybe only $800 but a regular week, $4700. There is another way we can win.

If our shit was doubled, we would be reaching toward $5k weeks and that’s kind of where I think we’re going to try to keep things even, and stop growing.

If we doubled out shit but kept the hedges the same, I would be in the same amount of trouble, but earning twice as much.

This is a tactic that can only be used in the middle where any move against you is likely to retrace eventually – not at the extremes of a range.

But I also want to refrain from doing what I often do – doubling down – when slow and steady is the move I would most profit from.

But remember, it wasn’t loading up the margin that cooked you. It was letting the euro tear out of it’s range with feeble hedges that cost me $8k.

Lessons have been learnt there, and maybe we won’t see a hedge gap over $100k until we have sufficiently ramped the margins, ramped the hedges, so that we are making $5k week on week, but we are never growing the margin, and all gains are profits because new debt is extremely minimal. When positions that take profit are replaced by ever small positions, rather than ever greater positions, profits go down, but slowly, so does your overall debt.

You may get stuck in the middle again – you likely will like I have with NZD, and then you must gently raise positions to ensure you are keeping up with the carry payments at least, but the trajectory is still down, debts grow smaller over time, and the margin down becomes slowly dwarfed by the bigger pairs you continue to ramp.

Or in this case, you keep your main pairs even and pairs like EURAUD which can cause trouble, wind them down – or EURUSD, when you’re less dependent on the volatility it offers week to week, slowly wind it down.

***

I have finally slotted in to the video game, much like with the russian yesterday, I just had to wait to push go.

I believe it’s fair enough to expect I should be able to do a reel every week, and have the full archive completed this year.

What does this mean? A very large source pool to draw from for my own videos, and this pool shall be the source material for all the music videos for the kurb compilation.

The best music videos will be held back to become part of the kurb archive short film, which is basically a 10-15 minute short capturing the best of the footage worked into a bit of a narrative connecting these top music videos, with other visual vignettes that I’ve written music for, but then the door is open for a further remix in which the songs are remixed or covered, the music videos and the short film are remixed into another version.

Mainly I have spare footage to do the next two videos and probably more after that, mixing this footage with the old footage, and crisscrossing it and building my style. Incognitus, whispers, dragonfly, call plan, these will be the next tunes coming up.

Writing new tunes becomes the new focus, new tunes, old tunes, cycling tunes, doing tunes. It doesn’t matter if you’re putting out a tune most weeks because you’re recycling most of the video shit anyway.

You’re not doing much more than you’ve done this week to produce your video.

***

Cheap shop. Run around the block. Lift weights, got that video archive task done, now we’re onto the next part.

Practice my russian.

The freelancing keeps drawing me back in, the cost of the vegetables I would have grown this week is about $6.

A tomato plant is 50c, a bag of tomatoes is $1. You could spend 10 hours a week in the garden, or you could spend 10 hours focused on freelancing of which only 4 hours you get to charge for, but you make $100.

Neither sounds any good. You have to focus on the end goal, and usually I just start thinking about darya and I can’t get past that. Impregnate darya, babies pop out and then the cry and then you never get any peace and then you’re dead as well.

Well I think about what my future wife and baby need, so I can start working on it now.

Basically just the money so we can do things, fly to different parts of the world and then do things there.

You have to have extra money to take you wife out, and call a taxi when you need to get your family back home.

This is what is so good about darya is that she makes me start thinking of what I have to be on top of in a few years time.

But I’m focused on now.

The plan is I will get the dole and grow some weed and probably save a few grand, cover my travel with my savings and look to . . . it just comes back to our trading, and the same problem, I get to focused on some thing I can’t control.

If the trading isn’t working by then, isn’t up at $50k by then, then no doubt I will still be closer than I am now.

The whole idea of making more money is so I don’t have to think about making more money.

I am of the feeling that at a cost of $100p/week having the time to think right now is really good, because it keeps coming back to the same things, just an extra bit of money, but not really, just impregnate darya, travel around, have some affairs, do some more art type shit, but who really cares?

You need to eliminate more stress from your life, what is making you unhappy?

Needing money for my car, the water bill, the trees contribution, bills, little bills that are always going to creep in.

***

The philosophy is slowly sinking in, so slowly.

What I buy back when I have all my own time to myself, is the ability to do anything I work out, whenever I feel like it. I have the ability to focus my mind on the things that matter.

Gradually I am pushing the things that don’t matter to the side, and by deduction seeing more clearly.

The tunes and the videos are just a thing you do, it doesn’t have an end, it’s like the training, it never stops.

Lift more weights, practice more russian. Focus on getting powered up to hit certain tasks, smash out these videos so you can begin to see the music task freshly.

I seek the ability to simply slot myself into the mode – in training, in food, and now in my russian I am doing it, I am slotting in, even the video stuff is making better progress.

I keep saying, the dole, the weed, darya, the mower, it will all hapen, the videos, the songs, it’s all going to happen and so I end up asking what’s next, and that’s when I feel like I’ve missed the point.

Why does there have to be a next? Because there’s always a next until you’re dead? So maybe just get dead and save yourself the hassle?

I think it’s going to be alright. What I’m focused on is applying myself, if muscles and russian was all I needed, I suppose it would be fine just to live like this, but I need more.

Then it becomes about a deeper journey.

Your day to day needs are met, you get up, you have good food, you have things to do, I think you already know that the answer is always coming back to art, the expression of these feelings that can’t be expressed.

There is no expression of what’s next.

I don’t feel I need anything.

I do my weights, I do my russian, I eat great food.

***

Now I am starting to think.

If the turkish are my only weak point . . . well when I got up this morning things were going nice, and I made a big mistake, I closed the whole EURAUD position – but luckily it was only $400 under, and what I reflected on was that it really made no difference.

I closed the position, I bought it again. My equity didn’t change. But now if the position went up, I got the full profit on the move.

If it went down, I got action on the gap. If it went up and took full profit and then I peered back, well, it’s hardly a disaster as it turns out.

But then obviously I could just cut the whole turkish loose. I thought when in doubt, hedge, but then I realised the interest would kill me. I had to do the opposite of hedge, deleverage.

The loss I take is already in play. I could take the whole turkish off right now, and never have to risk it going down.

I could eliminate all that risk right away, and have all the money I thought I’d need to fight it, go straight into my equity, and build me up to $50k where I can have a nice holiday – I am finally seeing ways in which I can downsize my whole trading situation.

No I won’t be making the grands, but not only will I be making the money I need to make, I will never fear needing ten grand to prop my account up.

All I want is to know I can make a few hundred bucks, without the fear that the turkish will plow into my equity, I can just trade away the way I always have, knowing the world of 10% moves in 2 months is behind me.

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