Grand Narrative Refresher

by Matt Romantech on December 29, 2017

I feel like the successes I have had this year have led me closer to understanding why christmas is so difficult for me, that as with so many things, the answer was quite obvious, the more I follow it, the more I see it is there, the darkened doorways.

I feel like I’m watching everything fade away. It is happening so slowly but so surely, and I am, because that is what is happening, and that is the darkest reason why I need my little darya, I knew all this, I know all this, it’s just that at christmas I am seeing it all in front of me and I have to confront it.

If you don’t breed you end up sad and old and alone, and every christmas gets sadder and darker and so you better not do that, you need to do the opposite of that, and get your little darya in your little house, and put about as many babies inside of her as will fit.

At christmas, you get to see what happens – people just get older and older and die and it’s depressing.

The message of course is you’ve got to grab life. I tried to grab life, I have grabbed it, my life is back on track this christmas in a way I can’t remember that it has ever been.

I start to see the other side, you certainly know that it’s all about family and your failure in that area.

But what you have done – gone to russia – is only the most you could have done, and you know now why exactly you did it, and that of course it was a huge success, it was totally right.

I am not desperate for a woman, I am desperate for a solution. I am not going to start pulling some shit on darya, I am just going to tread the path, but the more I see it, I think the next trip is more and more about her.

***

I just crashed out, the emotions were overwhelming me, and I recognised it, it’s just something I feel every year and now it’s another year before I have to grapple with these feelings again.

The sun is shining, and I can renew myself, but this is something else I felt last night I can’t just put it away and cycle through it again next year, I can crash out and stop thinking about it but is that what I need to do?

It is, because there is an inevitability about what happens next, but if you want to deal with this, then you have to deal with it, you already know very well that it’s all down to not being able to get a girl and play house.

Except now for the first christmas, I do have a house, you can renew it, it’s like this – there are sad things, like all your family are going to die, but there are happy things, you can get money and do what you like.

It keeps folding around. The main point is that I decided to go to europe and it was so so good, it was a brilliant move, because I had an amazing experience and I met my little darya.

I’ve got my house, and done my trip, my life is moving forward, you can’t be too down.

It’s just that christmas thing where I open up my blog and gaze back, I wanted to see the moment that I decided to go to russia because it was so inspired. But all I saw was how much the trading was punishing me, how 3 years have gone by and I can’t make this trading work.

But don’t forget what you discovered – that you will definitely have $350 p/week on your trip because you have save $150, have $100 from kurb, and will have $100 from trading. You trip will be awesome, and I hope to be more inspired in my music and my content.

And here is where is sun is slowly coming out – I’ve got nothing else to get done except this content, and I will get it done.

Darya is months away, and it will be summer again there too. It’s going to be summer forever.

The money, well, kurb won’t be that much work. You’ll make $400, You’ll save $4.5k, You’ve got about $3k bills, you’ll have over a grand for whatever else, more weed or some spending on the content. But it doesn’t involve any work. Get on a plane, you’ve already made $350 p/week available for spending.

I read over my old trading notes, the oldest ones, that talk about how much money I’m going to be making, making so much money, that I need to have.

Now I am not thinking I am going to be making all that money.

There are some interesting ideas here though – especially the idea of a fake investment firm, that is designed so that me doing some trades makes it look like I’m an investment firm, which helps convince everyone from my wife down that I am doing serious business stuff. I think it is important that you present darya with the idea you are doing important business stuff. Throw a bit of bullshit about here and there for people’s own sakes.

This was before the idea of feminvest even formed. Now the idea that I will ever make $20k in one week has left me. It seemed not to be doing me any good, they were all the dreams of a 9 year old building an army in his head.

But as I say conceptually, this was vital work, to allow dreams off the leash to run, to discover really where the limits lie, and what the objects of our desires really consist of in practive. And in terms of narratives, I still think it is a great subplot for agents of soros, that it’s these teen girls who run the numbers.

Is it destined to be some woody allen shit where you just write any kind of story that might involve you banging teenage girls?

It’s a secret life. I want to explore the concept, because it’s not just about a dirty old man, that’s the narrative, that was the concept of NYL getting more and more convoluted, that behind the money, behind the teenage ass, there’s something else there.

I played the trader DJ who was a figure of admiration, now I become like this shadowy figure, I direct other characters in their missions, but my motivations aren’t clear, do I really work for soros?

It is the world of dotcom and shkreli, rich nerds pretending to be bond villains – house of cards is fanciful bullshit about people in power. Agents of soros is fanciful bullshit about rich nerds who love constructing fanciful bullshit.

I am still reaching for a grand narrative.

That I’ve always aimed to construct this timeline.

Through myspace, technology turns a loser druggie muso into an influential trader with fingers in so many pies.

Maybe it’s the concept that I can use the stuff I did when I was younger to create this legitimate concept of a character, so even if takes years to bring the concept together, I can slot myself into the storyline.

Even if agents of soros is the only legit thing I end up doing and I’m in my 40’s playing myself – I can slot myself into the story without having to convince people I’m playing a 27 year old.

You know I’m the failed drug dealer, the failed club promoter, the failed internet personality, the failed tech start up entrepreneur, the sleazy pirate who builds a talent agency that degenerates into a web of exploitation, and finally the trader and international man of mystery that has emerged from a shadowy episode.

There’s a little period of tyler durden type stuff at the centre of the myspace story which is unresolved, but parallels with the other mysterious episodes – what happens to the girls who get attacked, and what exactly

that way even when I’m in my 50’s, because I have a model of how the story unfolds, I can keep adding content from all parts of the timeline based on what technology I can use to tell the story.

– evil robot
– compassion fatigue / further
– I need myspace: the reality compound story
– kurb/pirate matty/youtube/RCTV/NYL content + tiger penis diaries.
– short films
– revenge
– agents of soros

Having this model means being able to have a timeline where I can work on key plot points, and am free to build out certain parts of the narrative based on what I am capable of.

compassion fatigue and further are the sequel to evil robot, and are meant to link evil robot to the myspace movie.

compassion fatigue and further are very much about 9/11 millenial era the things that paved the way for the mid 00’s and the facebook era beginning with myspace. It’s very undeveloped material but since I came up with a way to connect the vibe of ennui to a bigger concept of the early 00’s being a bubble in which the facebook era, the new culture war, the financial crisis had not occurred yet.

The original concept was about monogamy and partying – a group of “friends”, consumerism, the 20th century – unable to meet 21st century needs . . . now i have a big AND THEN to connect with that original concept which makes fit into the grand story because it connects the early material of evil robot to the myspace thing which is really the centre piece because it’s the pivot point where we go from the music and friends type narrative.

I think of eamon up at jones bar.

He was already managing a hip bar, taking lots of e, going to the gym, no doubt banging hot chicks, I was selling tinnies and there you have more nice little narrative concepts going.

I couldn’t join that world. I didn’t have what those guys had, I didn’t want to play a game I couldn’t win.

I hadn’t gotten on to the gym thing, the whole thing of existing at that level, when I met state of mind, I knew there was a window into that life once again, the guys who fuck hot chicks in toilet cubicles.

It would take me years, and here is parts of the narrative the guys who found their way there through the PUA stuff and to the frontlines of the coming culture war.

But remember when you first heard of P – it was through eamon. pure. pure speed.

But I knew the trading might go the same was as the dealing, sleepless nights of paranoia and the slow withdrawal from my social scene in the moronic hope that I had a way that was going to take me beyond them.

I made so many poor choices I am no stranger to this.

How smart was I if I wasn’t wise to how to make my way in the world like eamon.

But narratively I see how we enter the tardis – the durdening – you have these different strata – the unemployed muso who lives in a dreamworld, the guy on the edge trying to breakthrough selling tinnies, trying to be a DJ, to get through his degree, and the hotshot club kids trying to stay excited about their relationships and partying, finding no drug, no party, no fix that can keep the feeling going.

But then there’s that middle class thing that we have to ride out too, the rich kids with so many options for failure, was it not inevitable that technology would rise to deliver a means to proliferate this endless high school bullshit.

What is making this concept more solid is that I see the end we’re heading to, and that the style of storytelling will be similar to evil robot, but we know this pivot point is coming.

You even have the same structure of evil robot forming – three different characters that are all me. It could possibly be all 3 characters 5 years later in 2003, the main character in evil robot was supposed to be reduced to a figure of pity in compassion fatigue, locked out from the hot shot club because he keeps fucking up selling tinnies and throwing shitty parties.

I’m not sure if the idea of adding the indie storyline to compassion fatigue is new, but I think it works, mainly because it makes evil robot and compassion fatigue into a true two parter, that subtley feeds into the myspace thing, because in the myspace story there’s the big pivot point where you end up asking wait . . .

is this some hipster muso personality? or is it some marketing executive guy? or is it some sad DJ who lives at home and is mixed up in drugs?

Those are all the guys from compassion fatigue. SO there will be super subtle connects from compassion fatigue into that pivot point which is where the tiger penis is first introduced to the timeline.

Then you need to cross reference that with the captain romantech in the 21st century narrative – that there was a “tiger penis moment” a disruption in time and space, where DJ romantech went into space, and captain romantech landed on earth, and so begins the story of the true origin point of pirate matty, and kurb matt and DJ romantech and Matt from RC, and every character I play –

They are clones manufactured in a lab. This is a metaphor for the creation of fake social media profiles, and adds other narrative concepts. I am literally the same person.

The tiger penis moment asks, who am I really? You’re clones of this loser DJ guy, who discovered a secret. What’s the secret? Well it begins on myspace.

So the myspace story is being told and you never realise the pivot point is where the clones are created.

When the captain discovers the clone factory he is then able to tell pirate matty he is a clone and there is no tiger penis. What you’re looking for doesn’t exist. You were created as part of a viral marketing campaign for some loser DJ who learnt a powerful secret and sent clones of himself back in time.

So where is he now?

That’s when I play the pirate matty and captain romantech stuff.

– It’s me . . . but I’m younger . . . and since when did I do birthday parties?

What I’m trying to do is now thread a sneaky needle through these blind spots.

So that when the supernatural aspects start being added to the story there is also an opening for this story to intersect with the timeline again, and then threads through to agents of soros.

The final story is of course that of course theyre all the same person. The story has been switched again, now it’s the story of some weird rich dude with a powerful secret who likes to dress up as a pirate or some weird dude with a spikey helmet and run around having adventures.

Of course these characters are people I’ve made up, that was never hidden. It’s just me dressing up. Of course no girls were actually killed it was all branding.

You can have this moment where the young apprentice is asking these questions and I am like treating him like a child like – can’t you see that that’s just me dressing up and making a stupid video for youtube?

Well yes, but . . .

It just keeps on smashing through the fourth wall and then building it up again just to tear it down.

So what is actually real?

What is the tiger penis? It’s nothing, it’s something I made up when I stoned on myspace for a laugh – you do this old trick where you start telling the truth for once but it’s so stupid no one believes it.

This after you’ve already told them that tiger penis is simply code for sophisticated IT techniques that are too powerful and too simple to ever share, and the whole poltical and ideological side of it, that’s all agents of soros, and you keep peeling back the layers and insisting it’s all a laugh for youtube but it just doesn’t add up.

The young apprentice is like . . . but where does the money you pay me to do the missions come from, who is paying you, it doesn’t add up.

Master soros? It’s just for youtube. It’s funny on youtube, don’t you get it?

But kurb investments? It’s not real. There’s no customers.

And that may be the tone to go out on as you descend into your own surreal narrative as the messed up old guy who gives the missions that make no sense, surrounded by these questions that surely it can’t all have been completely fabricated, myspace style.

evil robot – novel
compassion fatigue – novel
myspace – feature length film but i’ll be too old – so screenplay with novel adaptation.
rctv/nyl/kurb/pirate matty – youtube
tiger penis diaries – annotated collection of blog posts
basswave – youtube brand
tiger penis chronicles – 6-7 short films
revenge – youtube series
agents of soros – youtube

So my actual biggest problem other than time and money, is that I’ll be too old to play myself in the myspace thing.

This is simply a chronological timeline of the content put against what medium we are hoping to employ to tell the story.

basswave is designed to be the termination point of my current activity and carry the format forward while I focus on bigger projects, it’s also the brand by which I sell the DJ/trader thing.

I laid this out once again of course because as well as a remainder of huge work we’ve done planning the project, we also know parts of it we may never be able to execute and of course some of it won’t work as a novel.

We can do the myspace thing as a screenplay and novel, knowing it probably won’t ever get made, but it will always be part of the backstory and the grand narrative.

The short films, well several of them won’t work as literature. The whole thing where it’s imogen and lolita, would barely work as a screenplay but the king lear/wizard of oz/road movie would.

Of course the imogen + lolita story isn’t essential to the grand narrative. Basswave replaces NYL as the point at which we return to that NYL thread. I try to return to the past but I’m too old, imogen isn’t a teenage girl anymore and I can’t get that back. But her neighbours hot daughter is. So it begins.

So the bridge from the termination of the RC narratives to the beginning of the short films is basswave where I am at the peak level of being DJ trader guy.

But why did I go to russia? It was the search for the tiger penis, of course, but then we’re introducing more russian stuff, more DJ stuff, more forex stuff and more travel blog and branding stuff and it’s becoming basswave, suddenly I have stopped faking and have started making it.

We return to the concept – though maybe not specifically exposed – of the NYL talent agency.

2018: scouting – kurb and pirate matty skits – $1k trading – 1 girl
2019: networking space – nz models, star now models, fairy – $2k trading, section – 1 girl + friend
2020: 6acspace – dugong manatee and sexy forex – $4k house – 1 wife + 2 friends
2021 – 6acspace/NYL/imogen+lolita era
2022/23 – homeporn/king lear/wizard of oz/further

Which means I could still do the myspace movie in 5 years but here it is. I make it animated OF COURSE.

Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. The concept of having it animated is so strong, again.

Like combining the indie story with compassion fatigue, I’m not sure if that was a new idea but it was brilliant.

A lot of this short film stuff, we can shoot knowing it will be awhile before we put it together and put it out, that means we can shoot a lot of all the stuff 2022-2023 but not finish it til later.

In fact we can do combos of both animated and live action stuff all through this period.

We are experimenting with techniques. you see from homeporn it picks up after the 6acwave era, and something has happened, I am obviously wealthier, I have become this trader DJ guy. I think you’ll be riding that for awhile and you’ve got to see that these short films chart the decline at which point you have revenge and agents of soros, you can see this block, you’re in no hurry to do, especially if you have some footage where you look a bit younger.

That is we go into the basswave era and we’ve got all this lead up content, then we develop the myspace content and it’s a whole other chapter now opening up because basswave is already doing it’s thing.

The tiger penis may not be something mentioned too often through the basswave channel which isn’t my personal channel, but I might still do pirate matty and captain romantech on basswave of course, sexy forex etc.

So there are connections. The myspace movie connects to the beginnning of my youtube channel and other social media

Compassion fatigue connects to evil robot and myspace but I won’t be finishing that for 10 years.

in 2024 yes, 7 years from now, I could be dropping the myspace movie, knowing I’m editing the 7 short films up – we’ve just been doing basswave for years, I don’t do much, i do the podcast. The content on my channel initially drew the path from kurb, talent agency, pirate matty, tiger penis –

In fact that’s an easy video – tiger penis explainers that make no sense.

Even better, they seem like they make no sense, but it’s just they are so dense you assume that it’s just rubbish, me going on about rasputin and bangalore and soros and throwing in all kinds of bullshit. Real conspiracy vibes.

Then you can jump straight to russia. Too easy.

As is our program to take us through to dugong manatee – kurb and pirate matty, then when we get back next year, local girls for those skits, maybe nailing the pirate matty origin crossover too, then in 2020 when we go back we do dugong and forex in russia, we’ve already done enough kurb and pirate matty stuff, we did the rc stuff, then when we’re in russia we can still do this tiger penis thing, so that we go straight into russia like I said, in 30 months, 2.5 years, this is all on basswave related stuff.

The russian girls take over NYL, now I remember.

then in 3 years time from now, we begin shooting all these other films, we will spend 3 years and probably $50k on doing them all so that in 2023 we show the myspace film, and the short films follow after it,

Again, further will be on it, most of my content will be at that stage music videos, basswave segments, but I think we need some NYL style content to lead in to the imogen stuff.

Without NYL it’s pretty pointless, but now I see how it means we can pad it out.

Here we go. Drunksploitation and such – that wasn’t basswave. I would still want to do that possibly, and I still do music, drunksploitation could be on some vapourwave tip and be all lean hogs, because the idea is my channel is going messy, I’ve played the DJ Trader for long enough. The myspace thing has been. They understand it hooks back to the beginning of my youtube, and that goes all the way through to basswave where I’m doing shit in russia.

It doesn’t really matter what the brand is, we just go back to skits with hot chicks in them, so there’s a connect to what we were doing as we went into basswave and the new NYL content, which carries over the “hot chick” thing, and then after what would be a 3 year break, we start to ramp up the “hot chick” stuff so that it flows into the new stuff which of course we’ve already shot over those 3 years, we’re just laying it out now – in no hurry of course.

2024, 25, we get to lay it all out, and of course by this stage we’re planning and shooting agents of soros.

in 3 years from now, putting out dugong manatee and sexy forex and going into basswave shooting all the short films

in 6 years from now, putting out myspace movie

in 9 years from now, put out all of short films, ready for revenge or agents of soros

But the thing is.

You can start with agents of soros, knowing . . . everything else comes later.

You can skip straight from dj trader guy to agents of soros, so there’s all this mystery that is always being harked back to, then you fill it in.

The myspace movie, which leads to the start of the youtube, real prequel styles. Then it’s the short films which tell a story which is sadder, grittier, darker.

maybe it should all be one movie? If we’ve already done myspace.

It’s just such a huge story to tell.

If you put the – ROLEPLAY – that’s the one. If you put roleplay first or even separate, it works better.

Because then you’re already laying out that you’re a director working with a really young hot actress, and given it’s the same girl from the end of course, you use the foreshadowing, and spooky themes to why I’m so obsessed with her.

Then imogen and the final chapter. Then part 2 starts with a very annotated version of the homeporn and so it follows the first volume because first chapter is a drama within a drama, a film within a film.

This means between part 1 and 2 you can have some interlinking content – I am detaching from the show which is trying to be a less raunchy vehicle for the girls, to concoct every more cynical ways of getting girls to submit themselves to sexual exploitation with the promises of attention and fame.

This is setting up the king lear scenario.

Remember the porn I don’t actually ever have to be in shot, so again there’s no hurry to shoot it, which is good because this one; whats the point in animated reality porn, pointless. Also, we wanted to hold this one back as it was the raunchiest, that is a 5-10 minute intro version will be in the movie which has no sex in it.

The sex is suggested, the first girl turns the camera off, the second girl, it’s more stylistic and suggestively blended with the narrative that theyre in the hotel room and the party gets started and then somewhere along the line we are apparently doing it, but that is transitioning quickly into the point where all kinds of people are doing it, the girls have turned it into a tinder orgy and the witch spirits have awoken. The last girl, again it’s more on the tribal beach witch spirits vibe.

You could bring the girls over from ukraine and dub them over. It’s possible you could bring 16 year olds over. Oh stop. Does it have to be in new zealand? pretty much.

So you don’t have to do the porn until 2024. over 6 years.

No wait, we know the deal for the next 3 years, but then, well you’re free to proceed from basswave to agents of soros at leisure, because the myspace, and the short films all come after and compassion fatigue after that.

The only thing that matters is to work out which bits we need to film while we’re still young.

It’s not myspace, that’ll be animated. It’s not so much king lear, or any of that, it’s okay if I’m a bit old in those episodes, especially now we’ve got all russian girls.

It’s the roleplay/imogen/lolita bit. especially to separate it from part 2, so I see the first part coming sooner.

so it’s some dumb videos to do now, then the myspace one, then a series, then another series, and finally agents of soros which is more like what we’re doing now, open ended, except even more open ended because we can play the character when we’re older and the plotlines all stem from me having the money to carry them out.

Why have you spent all day writing about this? Because I think a 9 volume story that follows your life for 30 odd years is pretty awesome.

It’s not the most important aim in my life, but I think it’s pretty damn cool, and to be able to work my video channel up around this concept. It’s all one story if you string it together.

My channel, my website, it becomes directed around this content.

It’s a major branch, there’s the music, the archive with the 27 chapters which I will grow out, and now this grand narrative. Which needs a name.

To have that conceptual foundation to base your work around, that it all forms into one narrative, I see what I have to do.

part 1 evil robot – DONE
part 2 compassion fatigue, write within 10 years
part 3 myspace, film and release within 6 years
part 4 RCTV – DOING
part 6 basswave, begin releasing in 3 years
part 7 further, film in 3 years, begin releasing 5-7 years
part 8 revenge, wait to get rich
part 9 agents of soros, wait to get rich, do whenever

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