Arduous Project Struggle

by Matt Romantech on January 23, 2018

Saturday, even though I neglected the video again, a week this has gone on now, I feel like I’m coming towards a plan.

I understand how the video I’m doing now connects to what I’m doing in the future, and that’s not that big of a deal, and that’s good, because if it’s not a big deal it shouldn’t be too much work.

There was also the thing, what big projects do I actually have to finish?

I started to answer this question last night without really finishing what the actual answer is.

The first answer was the dvd archive editing – before I jumped off into saying that the whole reason I chose to do these jobs is because they are the hard ones.

They are simply the hardest and most challenging jobs I have to do this year.

Finishing songs, writing new songs, editing the archive, editing music videos, the music videos just got easier because of all this content I’m fishing up,

The plan is to finish these videos, then to finish a bunch of new songs.

It just seems so mad, so crazy, I’ve sat here for a week trying to face these videos and gotten nowhere, maybe more than anything it’s about me learning to apply myself and not waste so much damn time, it would be done by now if I’d just applied myself, but I can’t help but think that in all this stress and angst there is something to be dug up here about what it is i’m trying to do.

I can find a way to get the tone right, and I can build a vibe.

Remember the other videos you did with the french girls? Forex, free rent, you didn’t make them to be watched – you made them because you felt absolutely sure one day they would be seen by people who knew that you went on from this point. I was so sure.

Why do you bother to remember all this stuff? Because I hope to see, sometimes, I see, like I did last night, like I do on many nights, by scoping over the whole scene and repeating the facts as they stand, you will often see an angle you hadn’t thought of that will suddenly start opening up all these other possibilities, that is why I slavishly am addicted to writing this blog now, I am addicted to the hit I get when I see a new angle, and I started doing it a couple of years ago and now I am an absolute fiend here, spending hours cargo culting at my blog, waiting for the inspirational concepts to come raining down.

I am hungry for inspiration more than ever, because even though the lease idea was very very good

Another thing I love about the lease idea is that if people don’t come, you don’t expand, you can contract.

That’s fairly obvious, but it’s a way of me accepting what is – if it’s not moving forward, so be it, it’s not my responsibility to build a magical tribe to be leader of.

The 2 videos and the archiving are your big tasks for the year, and the songs, but that’s not so much of a challenge, to finish all those songs, they’re half done.

Websites are there, but I’ve already gone in and kicked that can hard to the end of the year, I don’t see that I will need too much development.

What I am trying to say is that it might be sort of reasonable that you are having so much angst over these videos.

I’m sure I’ve been through this before, but the danger now is that I don’t have anything else I have to do to break the malaise. I don’t have to go back to kurb, I don’t desperately need money. Without darya, well the pressure all comes off to be honest.

This doesn’t mean I should slack off more, but accept that it’s going to be dense getting through this stuff and trying to hammer it, I would’ve been smarter – i still would, if I spread myself out a bit but that would mean training and tunes, and a whole other thing to get my head into, when I just want to get into this,

It gets too much to be going on in my head if I’m trying to strategize two art projects – or as I keep coming back to – these two projects are more difficult than not only anything you’ve done before, but when am I next planning something this difficult?

Nothing I have planned in the next two years – to even sexy forex and dugong manatee – is as difficult as these videos. Think about that.

If all I do here is get perspective, then that is what I am doing here. Get perspective on this.

I think we just understimated how difficult this would be, because there is so much to realign artisitically, I like having that artist’s approach, that everything lines up over years of progress and development. I know where everything fits in the

I am churning through slowly, the emotions are up, this is part of it, editing yourself, editing your own performance, you have to push through the ego.

I am on the twitter. I’m funny, and have some cool stuff, but other people are funnier and cooler; give up.

I felt confident after doing a little editing to mix it up on the social media, but now after seeing all the funny comments, I feel a bit deflated that my content just ain’t that good, so many other people are just better at this.

But so many other people get encouragement that I don’t because I’m not a friendly networking type person, I find that just cheap. I prefer to be genuine in expressing my interest in something.

I think you are out of practice at concentrating and focusing and you need to work on this.

I want to feel reward from my work.

But we’re only a couple of hard pushes away from doing our podcast, kicking off the basswave brand, doing heaps of archiving and hauling out old ideas to start building new concepts on for a new website, and producing new content that is easy to roll and become more developed.

This fails to excite me, I just stare at my list waiting for some sort of positive anticipation to emerge of anything, there must be an image, a vision to keep me going, of a place I’d like to be, to get to.

I just imagine myself far away again, unbothered by what I am supposed to have done, unsaddled by anticipation of another project no one is interested in.

And just able to do my thing. Get an idea and roll with it.

But I also know what it’s like when you’re doing your thing and you’re in a flow state, everything else starts to fade out – but it’s not that obsessive one, there’s another one, a more romantic one that I try to reach, the byronic hero, the grey lynn beats, the vibe that you’re just doing your thing, you love your doing your thing, and it shows because you put love into it, it’s good, you’re living it, you love to live it.

I’m doing so many things, I barely seem to be good at any one of them.

I don’t think that’s so terrible.

But to focus back on the videos – it’s okay to feel that it is hard going, I accept now that to do the videos and the songs is what we’ve got to get through.

Remember with the dvd archive, you’re only zipping it up so that others can work with the material, and you can survey the full concept. But it’s a long time until we will have the money to make it happen.

You will then move on to the CD archive where we will discover how many songs are fucked.

We will sample them all. now we have a sample pack so producers of music as well as video can make projects.

I still believe we will cobble together a 10 song compilation.

It doesn’t have to be a certain amount of songs. What we need is a core to build the short film around, and then just an ongoing series. It may end up being only 6 songs, but then – whispers is a part of this.

The whispers video must be 100% archive. This is why I want the whole archive done so I can make a decent video for whispers out of just kurb stuff. But whispers would actually be one of the second wave of tunes that come after – the remixes.

I can think of 5 songs off the top of my head I think I will use.

The flame
get up
jr kong
the response
funktion
freaky meat
westside hori
reuben stone

lots of short circuit stuff is accessible too.

There are bound to be 10, and like than funktion compilation, if I find the tracks are to scratched up, I will be able to find them online. You want as many videos done as possible before you do the movie, it is at least 2 years away. That way the movie is like a DJ mix of the songs – and a VJ mix mashing them up with edited dialogue and structure, which I will score,

I have thought of 8 so far without even checking – there’s a few here that I’ve already saved that I can use, so 10 is almost – we’re already there.

The question was whether we would be able to build more than a general list and a metal list – if there was enough a particular genre to make it’s own list of 10.

The idea is to make at least 10 music videos, hold back the best 3 as the core of your short film which is a mash up of the 10 put to other edits, and other songs so lead out with your second best set of three vids so you build some interest for the concept by releasing these videos and songs.

It seems at least 3 years away. But because it will take so long to work it all, I feel that I need to put everything in place and finish the damn archive. There’s certainly no pressure though – this is the job to do last when everything else is done and you just need something to do.

I feel that feeling, of having nothing to do and I love it, that there are possibilities there, like grey lynn after rain, I think of st. paul’s for some reason, something so ponsonby/greylynn about it.

It’s that feeling that beats and vibes live where they were born, they are living there for me, and they are waiting, they are ready.

But I see why the videos and songs are now – because the cd/dvd archive and websites are for later.

What is left there lying inbetween?

We have 2 videos to finish – plus music videos for the next 3 songs, and 7 songs to finish, in 3 months.

If I had to run kurb as well, that might be a challenge if I was slack, but I will absolutely hit this.

6 weeks I could do it. I will do it, by the beginning of march when I’ve started booking and organising stuff.

What else do I have to do other than my art and organising my trip?

You have to do auckland stuff – car, kurb, dole and bills and such. Because you don’t have pigs or weed, they are not a responsibility to have to deal with.

With the farm I don’t really have any such aims. It would be awesome to get a sleep out going.

There really is nothing else to get done.

One you have finished enough tunes it’s time for the mixtest, which is the precursor to the podcast. Once it’s only the kurb archiving on your plate, it’s time to put the 27 chapters back on there – which is also a precursor to the next phase of archiving which will dredge all types up.

We will be doing all the archiving of the the documents and pictures at that point.

Again, the 27 is not the sort of task that is a challenge, because it has no technical aspect to it.

SO rather than feeling like your life is falling apart the reality is, if you’d just do your training and russian you’d be doing just fine.

Nailing these videos would help me focus on my other big goals for the year which are basically release the tunes, and get with nice girl in europe.

The tour videos and the archive videos, well they have just been sitting there and they need to be done, so given they are the hardest task on my list that I can complete quickly by applying myself, I thought I would try and go for it and I am failing miserably applying myself to it.

But it really is a much harder task than any we have got coming, would it be easier just to try and finish darling darling? I’m going to do that next. That’s the next big thing. darling darling, and then cavern and journey and the billie tunes because we know where they’re headed.

We have finally finished the first reel.

The 2nd reel will have waiheke, raglan, new years, and maybe some remnant south island and then australia.

I am looking back there now and seeing how this is such a big job, I’ve taken on twice what I planned to, but we are flushing it out, we have reformatted the concept

I guess I’m trying to break down the parts.

Mainly because I am breaking down the chronology mainly because don’t have all the footage I need to make a full account, so that’s why after we’ve done some narrative spiels, we go into the motel scene, and that start jumbling and mashing in with all the mad cap stuff, maybe cutting straight to the boat – then we pick up anything else from raglan and new years and then we go into a second narrative it that goes from new years to the trip out which could be a bridge over to anything we want to do with god and anything leftover from waiheke-raglan-barrier anything we might want to use from australia and then finally back to dunedin

part 1: blame darcy, the people the personalities

part 2: why = content – and from that – the concept of bullshit from myspace/rc etc

part 3: it was good though it wasn’t

part 4: the characters, the narrative outside our story

I really think we should be finishing the editing and then putting the narration down so we can allow for the narration to fall into the gaps, and that will structure it more. Work on the narration once you can see the structure working.

Most of the funny stuff from raglan, waiheke, new years is my god thing. We need to look.

I think it will be pretty basic in that we can do this thing where we go from the invercargill motel to the waiheke boat and put all non god shenanigans in there.

Then we go into another scenery + narration sequence before wanaka turns into a dream sequence interlude I can use whatever god stuff I want to, then we come back to dunedin.

There really isn’t a lot in terms of funny gags.

I’m pretty sure there will be a couple of stand alones at least, but the main vid will fit into that 13 minutes, just by paring it down,

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