Can’t Do Without

by Matt Romantech on January 24, 2018

I am ready to start turning it around again, I am not reaching for the weed immediately, and I am thinking I have no choice but to get back on my training.

It has been a hard slog through this tour video and I am not yet half way, though I can see from the rest of the footage, there isn’t a lot there and just bashing at it – whittling it away and down to 13 minutes should be fine, plus a stand alone for the bella vista motel, god vs the german girls,

In fact, I could put up god vs. the german girls and bella vista first, after angry fruit, then do dragonfly early march, then do the main video.

If I wanted time to get back into my fitness and just ease these videos out, because I think I have learnt trying to bash at it can be too difficult when you’re dealing with this kind of thing, videos from 4 years or more back, where times have moved on, and there’s a lot of unresolved stuff there.

The tour video is over 4 years old, the kurb stuff I only came up with 2 years ago, it’s getting easier.

I am trying to encourage myself through this dense patch, remind myself these are some of the hardest tasks you will do this year. It’s only january and you’re belting at it. You know that you are learning this, and that there will be other times of the year, times you’re overseas and have lost the need to wander around, and you will be able to choose other projects to belt at, songs, websites, archiving, that will begin to bring your vibe forward.

Slowly moving forward.

Remember half the reason we left this was we were utterly convinced the easiest way was to get rich trading first.

But now I realise, I do need to do this slog

I also realise there’s more adventure to come, and maybe it’s not right for darya, who simply wants to play housewife.

If I don’t go to minsk, we head straight to kiev.

My videos would benefit from the same thing my songs would, I little bit longer in the incubation period, waiting to see what’s wrong with a little time and making those little fixes

I do my little update photos from my trip for twitter.

It isn’t much work but guess what – it’s better to get on with something you feel positive about then not doing anything at all, if it helps bring me round to where I need to be to get these videos smashed out, if I am pushing forward, then I am good.

It also gets me focused on something positive for me – europe, and I do feel positive about it. There are more daryas.

SO that’s why I can write a post for the kurb blog on these videos and put it on the music marketing blog also, because I am working on providing value when I nut out these problems. It’s as good as anything else right now.

It’s trying to learn some content habits.

I’ve just spent over an hour trying to deal with rendering this footage it’s for some reason it’s taken all day and is chewing through my hard drive demanding more and more space, the reason that it failed to render last night.

What a fucking struggle this thing has been.

I don’t know how to react. I knew it would be hard, and now I am being nailed for all the things I haven’t learnt yet about putting together a video, and having it drilled into my skull that if you want to do this shit, you better get to know what the hell it is you’re doing.

My problem here is I’m trying to edit hours of footage.

Erin just shooting all this crap, and nothing happening, and tonnes of good footage that would of all made it work, gone.

I’m not sure what we’re supposed to learn from this.

I think you need to recognise and pinpoint what about this project you’ve chosen to do wrongly that has made it so difficult. t

I think I am just having a hard time with video and if it was music, I would stop and focus on video, but the thing is there is becoming such little urgency now

I switch to music, I have to use this switching to deal with the waves of frustration that are endless, otherwise you’ll never cope. So I switch to music, the mixtest, do the first mixtest just before you leave, having got all the tunes up to a standard and you can easily do 10-12 and make it your top content.

Then again, there’s no real need to push this again until say come december – you drop a new version with the best of the old stuff including the big tune darling darling with the new stuff that teases the next big tune.

It’s good to have a little plan to follow, but it also means, we won’t really be doing a podcast or mix while we’re away which might be good if we don’t take the dj controller.

But we still have a little soundtrack, and given we have move along the content continuum we see we are freed up to make the same conclusions about video – how do we make something so that people can enjoy what we’re doing with a directive that is creating some momentum?

We obviously want to do a video on kiev, tallinn, belgrade and bangkok

These are the first of our turn to basswave. It’s so important to be working towards long term business interests rather than clowning about.

That stuffs okay, but I’d rather shoot for something more meaningful. Building my mannerbund by sharing valuable information I have gathered.

Is this not pure? I simply want to communicate some of the most valuable information I have because by providing value I have proven my value, if you require expertise, my credentials are completely accessible through the value of the information I share.

Yes it’s some pay it forward seth godin shit, but I have a certain belief now in simply laying down hard value and let the opportunities come where they may. If I am forced for whatever reason to specialize in order to monetize that is a direction I can follow when I decide I want to.

My main customer is the ukrainian girl who is willing to come here and work for free. I am not approaching that customer, I only need a handful of those customers, what I am doing is building my reputation amongst people who are going to be interested in what I’m doing.

The city videos would likely be done in the same way as kurb – a few to-camera bits, but mainly voice over.

This way we’re not committing massive efforts to videos that are going nowhere, these videos connect to where we’re going.

But it shows why it’s also good and very important to get projects finished so you can clear all the raw materials out of the system and start fresh. We are in a bad situation – we have unfinished projects choking everything up.

We can’t fuck around with other projects because this huge blob of content has blocked all the tubes.

It always had to be cleared and I just didn’t think it would go on like this.

As I keep saying, I think I am failing to understand just how difficult what I am doing right now is – I am passing through a very knotty phase in my video to get to where it’s going to be better.

It’s because it’s hard to see how this unlocks anything, but it’s more than that, it unlocks me, it frees of the commitment I made to get this done because I know I can, and I know in concept at least, it shouldn’t be hard to do, to make something with.

I have gone back to cavern and journey, as the are obviously going to be the next soul science tunes – for march and april 2019.

These seem like they could be finished in a few months easily, we have depth in the tunes area.

It is almost time to just move on to new stuff.

I wrote a really nice new loop – just a loop, but like needs, I know it’s business.

I maybe – yes it’s time to roll the new tunes out. 4 new tunes would shunt all those other tunes along and have us good into may next year, so I don’t have to hand over any new tunes after that.

Cavern and journey – and the billies – I have no intention of handing over before june.

The tunes we write now are to hand over when we get back.

****

The fresh 4 – cavern, journey, ghost and now I know are moving into a stage where a few nights work will have them ready for john.

I say, get those other tunes back to me, unlock these 4, I’ve got a years worth of tunes, out til may next year, so I shouldn’t have to write anything new until then.

Write a whole bunch of sketches and then I’ve got til may to work on them – my 12, the soul science 12.

SO yes having 4 new ideas would be mean because that means I’ve got 3 months just to focus on finishing the 24 that are on my plate, and if I write something better, there are more tunes for the soul science queue.

Given we have 25 unfinished tunes we’re working on, so it begins – we must write a new song every month to replace the one that comes out.

When the next 4 soul science tunes have come out, march, april, may and then june – will unlock the fresh 4.

***

I am suddenly confident and optimistic again – the first half of the tour raw edit has rendered after wasting the whole day yesterday waiting and driving me, breaking me down to start working on tunes, and now I have got the “fresh 4” which were not sounding very fresh at all, sounding much better.

But even though there’s been bad news again in turkey who have attacked american backed rebels in syria, that dropped me past last weeks low before edging back, I am suddenly confident about the trading again, simply because I know that the game I’m playing, the $100 a day game, is one that I will win.

Yes it will take another year, yes, I could lose grands more before I come back, but I will come back, and that’s what is so important in trading, to have the faith and to believe that you’re going to be able to make it happen because that’s when I get scared, when my faith leaves me.

I was just incapable of finding enthusiasm for anything less than $3k a week for so long until recently.

Making $1k a week was just unacceptable. That’s where the change has come that will turn the situation into one that can be managed.

It’s hard to say whether I would have more money now if I’d never gone beyond a grand a week, I think it is likely, I wouldn’t have made nearly as much to lose, but I would still have lost less than the difference.

Which was the mistake – my poor hedging of the USD, or the fact that I leveraged up so much in the first place?

This is what gives me relief. I was doomed from the start until I learned about leverage, the real deal I’d failed to see. Major currencies will move 10% in a year – not every year – but some, and if you’re leveraged up trying to play your little game you’re running a risk that avalanche will crush you.

A 2% swing is a work out, 4% is strenuous, 10% is absolutely crushing.

The whole AUDNZD debacle is a perfect example. Most years, yes, it only has about a 5% range. But the year that it is 10% and you’re holding $600k, you better know where you’re going to get the missing $60k.

This is why AUDNZD, EURCAD, and AUDCAD, EURGBP still hold that appeal – because this is easier to manage with the new system – yes, they mostly have small yearly ranges, but just not consistently enough – it’s too big a risk that it’s not going to be the year it stays within 5% or even 10%, and you’ll get hammered if you’re leveraged up.

But if you push it a little bit, you know your new system will kick in if it starts to really move, and take the edge off.

Again it results in the same situation – you have to be ready for it to go down before it goes up.

You have to accept it stays in a nice tight range most of the time – but not all of the time and if you happen to wrong picking the time you’ll be giving up that hard fought ground, which will give you weeks of doubt. You just have to accept, you’ll be kicking around $30k all year, as each week you draw off funds to pay for stuff.

That’s what I see, to be back over $30k is the signal I need that the bad things that happened last year in trading are over, and I’m not going to have the same experience of my trip being difficult, because I’m being thrashed every day – Estonia, Kiev, Belgrade, Bangkok – my favourite places were all where I got belted.

Well estonia/latvia – riga was where I first was shook – remember you were down through $33k by then, that bus trip ripped me from down $36k, $35k which was tolerable do down past $33k which was not and by minsk we saw $29k, there was relief after chernobyl but then the cad hike, where do we go from here? to see $27k for the first time.

I was well and truly smashed, and I haven’t been able to stay up since, and I’m still here, 4 months later.

Again, I have not managed to make myself feel better. I think about how much I lost, rather than bringing back into focus the fact I’ve held on to enough money and learnt my lesson I hope, enough to stage a decent comeback over the course of this year, while still enjoying another trip to europe – which the trading will help me pay for.

There’s the old system with the slabs, and the old old system of just the big range, and now we have the new system which is the old old system of playing the big range except only increasing the leverage slowly, strictly as account value allows. We should aim for a 10% margin. 10% minimum as a signal we are being too cautious.

We used to have controls but of course they were all far too loose, now we increase so slowly

But we still apply new techniques – newer old techniques – we will use some slabs to protect the hedge, hedging is ultimately how we protect ourselves from hard swings – which is really a variaton on the technique – always put down more on a position that is going up, and use the signal of 3 consecutive drops as a trend indicator to trim a few losses. Strategically taking opportunities to jump out of positions that are -5% or more, zapping the chance for a big avalanche to fall on both sides.

At it’s core, the new system is the old system, but with way less risk, except certain parameters form in which we use new techniques to even up the situation before a crushing avalanche can form.

They will still form like they have in the last 2 weeks, we can’t stop big swings, but we can soften the damage to a few grand that will be hauled back in a few weeks. This will happen at least twice a year. All we can do now is wait to read the trends that are being indicated by our new technique.

Is it making money?

Is the loss increasing? If your capital is increasing but equity isn’t you may not be making as much money as if your capital is decreasing, but so is your debt.

I am thinking about my brand and my next trip and that’s what I see – music, forex and start ups.

I provide a service which is basically the service I would want – connecting people with music and general arts scene, forex traders and start up type people.

Okay you understand the service, you understand the business model – it’s a consultancy, which is why you can develop it alongside your content for basswave.

If you want to talk to me for 20 minutes it’s $10us for 60 minutes, it’s $25. That’s my hourly rate. If I can do four hours a week, and that’s not just consultancy, it might be other stuff, well I can’t see that I should need to do any more.

I just feel that I should be using the opportunities that I am creating to produce value for others, not only for the money in my pocket to make me feel cool, but to extend this experience to the basswave activity.

We are connecting with our customers, this is what I moved to – why do you need to have a space when you can still provide a lot of value to a small amount of select clients without a space?

Because you wanted a venue. Yeah sure, like, next year – this year, a different model we’re building, just me, no building. We need to build the thing – the brand – before we bring it into a physical space.

But we are connecting with other people who are having the same ideas and I bring my skill set to the table.

I don’t want money. I am trying to get russian girls back to my farm.

They help grow the weed, do the pigs, and get all the organics happening, eventually dudes will come to try to date them, who will pay to eat and stay.

I just keep thinking, I don’t need that much money – that’s why I am able to simply allow it to unfold.

By doing the basswave stuff I will align with others who create opportunities for me to connect with girls and resources I require and labour I require on my websites.

I don’t really so much care about the girls getting dudes down there, I need to connect with the girls.

But that proposition is overwhelming. They need to prove their value, and I need to have the opportunity to do that.

Well you hardly need an excuse to go looking for girls.

Why don’t you make looking for girls a priority over looking for a space to rent? Website and consultancy, next, the girls, helping you to build NYL, which is the matchmaking side of things.

So you can have your consultancy and NYL running up along with no hint of the future physical basswave, because that costs money.

It is more likely that russian girls here will build basswave, than the opposite and that means on one hand that basswave just got pushed out a couple of years, but the other, you need to be certain you will be connecting with enough girls, but I think I certainly will because what this means is you need to go and talk to a lot of hot girls.

You don’t even have to talk to them, you just need to hand out your little flyer.

This year, and probably the next. Fun. That’s what I’d rather be doing than going on about freelancing to some ukrainian twerps.

As I say, we won’t even open a damn shop unless it’s really necessary – well it’s not – so, unless I can afford the indulgence,

For the next few years, I am building the brand with the podcast and my consultancy, unbeknownest I spend my days recruiting girls on the street and hanging out with lots of girls.

I need to start them off on some jobs – building the website for this thing, which helps them to learn what exactly the deal is. Then they are promoting it, doing the social media.

I just remembered about Can’t Do Without. It’s just not good enough to hold back, and should be handed over to soul science.

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