Romantech » Nonsense

Romantech Ready For Nowness

Matt Romantech — Thu, 20 May 2010 13:54:20 +0000

Mean time, I’m actually living home alone, or alone house or whatever the concept of the thing is. It pretty much wants to be a fully fledged concept. Maybe it’s an opportunity to see how to launch a concept without worrying too much about production values because it’s just raw and defiant creatively, rebuking professional standards and standing alone. It’s about crisis and rawness so it fits with the theme.

Which I’m actually living. Sitting here in my house going uhh welll okay what now? So much material is off in the murky distance, in front of me is the relentless equation, explainig how it would just be so much easier if I just had the money.

It’s so easy to believe. But this is the cleansing environment of the house that I’m reduced to what I truly need outside of anyone’s influence.

I know that there’s this emptiness, but it’s enforced by me, I have allowed it to be, because I want the space to be filled by something positive. I would rather keep it empty and blank and lonely and dark then have vibes that are not in synch with where I actually want to go.

That’s just toughing it out, holding out for the best. But yeah so I’m living it, and I think the level of putting rightness needs to go deeper. It’s agonizing to wait so desperately but I sort of realise now, you can’t step forward unless you’ve got yourself together, which I’m finally learning to do.

It feels blank and empty but that’s just the acceptance that until you put your affairs in order, there’s no point. That’s what I see, maybe I won’t make stacks of cash like I hoped but for the first time in well, first time ever, I’m finally getting on top of everything.

You can’t expect to not have problems but to be able to see past things so effortlessly, that things are under control, I think that will open me right up, so I’m resisting the influence any old thing that might drift in, so that I might find something powerful to run with.

I think soon, when I get used to my environment I will begin to settle down and focus more to get my goals turning over, but really, I want to see beyond whatever fanciful hopes linger.

I think I used to want to be dashing, urban, wordly in a contemporary manner, to have a nowness about me, to impress kids, but I wonder about that, I wonder about the importance, I wonder if it’s possible to be fulfilled by the acceptance of people who are now younger than me.

Before I felt, a young in artist in Auckland, but now that’s not really there, the freshness of it that fits with playing out that role, but now it’s so different, the role is gone.

I don’t have to be an artist, it doesn’t mean anything, because I can walk away, it’s not necessary.

But that sets up a whole other dynamic. You don’t have to do it. You don’t do it to be in a magazine or impress girls.

It’s more mysterious than ever, what’s the point? That’s part of the beauty of it, mothings straightforward, it’s complex, you do it because you feel it’s the only way to make anything make sense.

There needs to be more honesty. It’s about walking the talk. I want the music and the art to be alive, to live it. Or what I mean is that, when you live it, the statement is more real, it says moe, it means more.

I know ultimately I’ll come back to knowing it’s not appropriate just to live your life to make money to tick boxes and cross stuff off your to do list.

You want to be something that’s more than that, but is being cool to a bunch of kids, that? Before it was all about being involved in the creative environment, but there is none. If there is, I welcome it, I would love to find it, and I would like to one day try.

But otherwise, it’s about the resources I have available to make whatever meaning I have to offer possible.

I want to know who to be when I go out there for it. I don’t want to go out there because I want people to like me, because it might only be disappointing. You’ve got to go out there for your self, but what is myself.

To go out there and be smug? To be tragically reflective, or to really grab that vibe of searching for gold amidst the mud and shit, that’s what it’s about, hoping it exists, searching for it, finding it and trying to hold on, watching it disappear in front of you.

That’s a story, and it’s art. And art has to be created.

I know you’ve just got to do it and get started, and the moment draws ever closer, but this time I want to be prepared.

Romantech: The Lost Tweets #4

Matt Romantech — Sat, 01 May 2010 07:08:19 +0000

You can follow me on twitter at http://www.twitter.com/mattnz but remember I run a marketing and promotions business so be aware I tweet a lot about that kind of stuff.

This is just a bunch of tweets I never bothered to post, because well, for whatever reason, I just didn’t – marketing tweets, beat tweets, life tweets, whatever tweets.

one day I just know I’m gonna be somebody’s #bennyblanco #pacino

It’s friday night girl.. yeah that’s right.. you know what im thinkin bout . . .

- mah brand bitch! I said mah brand! -whaaaht? mah p.p.p.pehpeh-wikiwiki-personal brand! That’s right, mah brand dawg, I said mah brand! Mah ppp

So, adwords on twitter then? *shrugs* suits me just fine. Move aside “networkers” and obsequoids, real marketers coming through

You say: “money isn’t everything” I hear: “If you didn’t work so hard you be more of a loser – like me.”

Money isnt everything. Being cool isnt everything. Sex isnt everything. Hey Yknow your version of “everything” sounds pretty boring

being nice adds value for people who need therapy. Where da rutherfords

y’know any true socialist would say build the movement, build the party but im kinda like – the movement are dicks, wheres the good drugs

thinks when I get into my 40’s, gonna turn completely evil – y’know, long coat, italian shoes, chauffeur, scary laugh #antibranding

love spam followers who are all like complaining about “twitter limits” and “too many links” + they wont see this amongst their 10k follows

Swifty quoting Nancy: “I maybe rich, put do you want all the problems that go with it?” *cough* slumlord *cough* . . . what? #greylynn

Reading some dbag’s blog and trying to work out if he’s for real. In 09 does it even matter? #antibranding http://www.arthurkade.com

This whole thing started with underquoting, overworking, understaffing,

so next I was ill, surrounded by toxic fumes and on 64kbps with clients calling for blood. You gotta measure yourself. Beware of the growth

RT @themodernlovers “ . . . cos Pablo Picasso . . . never got *called* an asshole . . . not like you . . . “

dont you worry baby boo because you’ll always have an angry gorilla to be angry with you, thats what I do, ask donkey kong he’s in my crew

#lolfatality #autotunethenews

oh I get it now, #followfriday is just like those “whore trains” on myspace *[]* add my name plz?

Soon as I hear an artist talkin bout “getting signed” I’m thinkin – yeah and who’s your plastic surgeon again? #nicedream #groundcontrol

gettin my unfollow on. Even muso’s and kiwis who only offer feed links + no insight are gonna get unf’d. Personality. You should try it

so if you’re within your rights to minimise your tax bill in NZ . . . who’s writing a blog about it? #canhazaudi #ontheexpenseacct

I blame @publicaddress I was just a broke DJ, next im on stage with @dubdotdash @zephoria + @robyngallagher facing the captains of media

Paul Gauguin was a depressed, suicidal stockbroker before he moved to Tahiti at the age of 43 and became a painter. Henri Rousseau was a tax collector until the age of 49;

These twitter-as-feed auto DM botboys cant be banking – why else would the be making dicks of themselves in public

Thinkin about Chuck D talking bout guys at the top not caring bout the music, just making money . . . oh so you mean its a bad thing? Whoops

Let me see. Myspace built my career, let me date gorgeous women, let me speak directly to thos who inspired. Facebook banned me for not using my real name.

Getting into unfing. I unf for same reason I dont f in the first place. If you’re a lame internet marketer and even your failings fail to amuse me

Sure if you wanna sacrifice your rep just to break into making a hundy here or there, fine, I been there. Just dont expect me to be impressed

I want them to play “My Humps” at my funeral. Really represents who I am, y’know – a deep thinker. And “Fruit Salad” by The Wiggles

I just think it’s only fair to let people know now that I am going to be turning over to the baddies side

Fair I picked up stuff like Perry Como from Lost but Heroes using “Sleepwalk” I dunno. Mad Men soundtrack would be like insane bro #lounge

Get it right, the guy said “1000 true fans” not 10,000 random internet marketers – that’s how musicians need to rock on twitter.

See here’s one that gets at me. When I discover an entrepreneurial/business/mmo blogger I read has a day job. WTF? dont front like you know
clashed with separatist militants in the western provinces of my back yard. Calling on the UN

Need to get back into my pirate parties. Telling stories to little kids helps my ego stay slim and under control. #groundcontrol

dares not speak of the powdered tiger penis, and it’s terrible power? Tiger eyes stare at me from 2006 through the jungles of Social Media

had a friend who made lame jokes about swine flu on twitter they started convulsing, shitting blood and screaming cos thr genitals fell off

Longgg Ago!♫ . . . gettin my #nzmm tweet on . . .Bobby Joe, Viva Bobby Joe . . . Thinkin about you, thinkin about me . . .

In NZ music month mode. Into the UK Shoegaze sound? Check out NZ band Jean-Paul Sartre Experience

just wanna do a YT thing about a failed dealer + DJ who becomes a myspace celebrity & then an evil entrepreneur. That’s it, then I can die.

you have to be the somethingest.

take the blue pill, the story ends.. take the powdered tiger penis.. and become a samurai in the boardroom AND the bedroom #realitycompound

life doesn’t always work out like in the movies. And for that I curse you, #johnhughes #genx #dontdontdontdontdontyou

I think Grey Lynn will always be a place where knowing about cool bands is more important than how much money you have #nothiptobesquare

I use my mothers name purely for branding. ie no one asks me to spell it. Ironically ggrndads name was changed 19^th c to sound less irish

This aspiring videographer needs a frickin dermo yall

Romantech: The Lost Tweets #2

Matt Romantech — Sat, 01 May 2010 06:58:32 +0000

You can follow me on twitter at http://www.twitter.com/mattnz but remember I run a marketing and promotions business so be aware I tweet a lot about that kind of stuff.

This is just a bunch of tweets I never bothered to post, because well, for whatever reason, I just didn’t – marketing tweets, beat tweets, life tweets, whatever tweets.

You say nitch, I say neesh, you say kitsch, I say quiche . . . I say tomato . . . you say unfollow?

Theoretical: Hatebeak, the death metal band fronted by a parrot, or R. Kelly’s “In the closet”?

Samosas + Dhal from Rasoi, survived on this in uni. Not unlike the vogels + vegemite that nourished my childhood . . . still sublime

My motto for the last 12 years was “Don’t fuck with a truck”. Ie Don’t get run over by something bigger than you.
Do you ever think I’m going to wander round in the bush or swim in some rough water? We don’t have a gun plague or
My new motto is um “If you hate being small, you’re doing it wrong.” #fivefootseven of mean #nz #entrepreneur #turnonadime
I don’t care. In THIS campaign, there ARE baby Koala’s in the frickin Tasmanian rainforest, k? And ANZ is doing sick experiments on them.

I’m an @johnkirwanbro 4 Lyf!!! Know me before you unfollow me. Lol. I h8 all my friends anyway. Both of them.
Thought of “Father & Son” on hold for 25mins only thing protecting vfone from a full christian bale out right now
Entrepreneurship aint that hard after a while. I’m push through the dip in my weak areas – customer service + closing sales

“I’m sorry Mr. Kirk, you’re going to have to come down to the station house. Dead.Dead.Dead.Dead – Your son is dead.”

Romantech: The Lost Tweets #1

Matt Romantech — Sat, 01 May 2010 06:53:53 +0000

You can follow me on twitter at http://www.twitter.com/mattnz but remember I run a marketing and promotions business so be aware I tweet a lot about that kind of stuff.

This is just a bunch of tweets I never bothered to post, because well, for whatever reason, I just didn’t – marketing tweets, beat tweets, life tweets, whatever tweets.

kinda over whitehat. Again with the noobs. Tip for nooby IMers: Keywords first. Personal Brands later.

The branding cart would be so post ironic. People would scoff but then they would be like . . .

gimme 2 wp’s on a .com, KW research,

is more Donald Trump than Bob Dylan, that’s fer sher.

existing momentum and clout

authentic personal brand – experience purchasing meaningfully

2am Denny’s opposite the skytower after a night MMOing starting to lose it’s “Lost in Translation” appeal. Slightly. No sign of Scarlett yet

Brand for success with Kurb Promo: How poor service, incompetent staff and confrontational marketing can turn you into a dating guru

is making a stand for core values of poor service, incompetent staff, confrontational marketing and not being a sanctimonious blogger

sHigh value commodity = refine marketing. High demand commodity = refine model.

Really working on my personal brand for summer. Want 2 b “together” but “complex” n maybe lyk portray how lyf is kinda of lyk a “paradox”.

I see Starbucks as a metaphor for my life right now. I’m not going to drink shit just because a whole bunch of squares think its normal

I pay other people to have fun for me

going haiku core on twitter

hasn’t started an new business or site in weeks. Probz become a ppc consultant. Still reckon being a dating coach could be a hoot

Romantech Makes His Freak Move

Matt Romantech — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 14:45:02 +0000

So I was wrapping up the april post by talking about making my presence felt before I get back into gigging.

That made me think more about how I don’t want to do shitty uncertain gigs any more, unless its a tour and its meant to be that way – not because i’m all bitter on it, but more because I see more art and creativity in my old myspace ways, of being creatively disruptive to the scene and being that way, being present on the net or otherwise.

Once my narrative is underway I’ll want to be a “youtube personality”, I’ll turn up for the things and be in character. People may not react well in person to me being in character but thats part of the show, and I’m hardened to it.

I just want to do my songs and my videos in my room and you can’t stop me, like those uncool kids at school who didn’t know they were uncool, you couldn’t stop them from doing what they liked and just flouting themselves in front of the cool kids with gay abandon.

I’m not there to be cool, I’m making art, if my art means i’m despised well whatever.

I’m joining the path with myspace again in spirit, away from the local drum and bass scene. I’m making my john b/andre 3000 move now. I don’t care about the rules.

When through a combo of old fashioned internet marketing and branding I do have an established audience, then ill start gigging, and i’ll just play drum and bass or whatever i like, sing songs, whatever i feel like, I don’t really care about the old way, i just want to go back to the myspace way and have fun again, meet crazy people, but just do my own thing.

Romantech’s Marketing Music DnB RC Newsletter

Matt Romantech — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 13:24:49 +0000

Keen to hear me DJing some sweet drum and bass?

It’s a mix of big party choons, a few tougher numbers and my typical smooth liquid funk.

http://dnbshare.com/download/TOUGHLOVE-DJROMANTECHdjmxDec09-320.MP3.html

It’s the official “Tough Love” mix.

OH WAIT YOU WANT TO FIND OUT ABOUT MY MARKETING MUSIC SERVICES – THIS IS MY ACTUAL MUSIC, I MAKE – NOT MY JOB, FOLLOW THE LINK

Mmm so yeah I’m thinking of kicking off my newsletter and not giving a toss. Why not. It’s a good idea to have a newsletter you can make money flogging junk and stuff, i’m kind of good at that.

I guess I’m thinking who would want to read it? I don’t know, why not try it out?

The main idea is also a small step toward video.

It’s just been so hard, I’ve been trying to do this for years now! I’ve got to break this mutha down. If I can start with one newsletter per month, I can then move toward a newsletter and a video per month, plus a free song, and well, we’re good. We’ve got our format.

How hard can that be? The thing I like about it is unlike video, with an automated newsletter you can go back and improve the newsletter, which kind of makes me think of it as the top rung of engagement, in fact if it only ends up being a couple of hundred people and less than half of those even read the thing then that’s fine by me.

But I’m embracing the small step because I hate having a goal and missing it and then ending up discussing it and overanalysing it to beyond meaning, and we don’t want that on the newsletter. The newsletter can be actual me trying to do some decent writing and putting together something decent, and even if I don’t – as I say, unlike a youtube video I can just go back and change it.

No problems. Wait no, lets be serious. If I make it too crazy and all Reality Compound then it might put people who are into serious drum and bass or serious marketing off but if it’s too serious it’ll be boring.

I think I might of been saying it’s all about framing. Do the reality compound stuff but in such a way that drum and bass and marketing people can enjoy. Try to keep it edgy and amusing without offending the mainstream. Do marketing, but make it interesting, relevant. Show off your music, video and other content, but be real, not all indulgent.

Really aim to give people something decent

Use the story, use philosophy, because y’know, this is really all about the ideas I had since I was a young kid that I would be an author one day. Now it’s author 2.0, it’s author of my own destiny.

It’s author as character in their own story it’s an author combining the different media – video, newsletters and blogs, music to tell a story in a new way.

The whole RC dynamic of being a “real character”, which is not really me but a caricature of myself.

Another problem is about the idea of keeping it real vs. trying to not offend anyone and ending up a pussy who can’t say anything that’s real becuase it might offend someone.

I want to be transparent, but isn’t it so burdensome from an entertaining perspective to have to explain and justify everything? If I want to sell penis enlargement on my newsletter because it’s rock and roll and I don’t care, do I really have to explain it and justify it to my readers?

Do I just not sell penis enlargements at all and avoid the problem? Do I only do things I can justify in a sentence?

I just have to come up with a way of working with that content that my audience will accept.

Or that I feel . . . well I think I will have to shave off some raw edges. I think if I decide to promote penis enlargement I better be bloody clever about it.

Play the character of myself. The character of myself would sell penis enlargements on his blog because I’m crazy and he would do that.

The newsletter is a new level ofcloseness to the “fan” – I think I really just have to try it, basically, become my own client.

I think the newsletter is a better goal long term anyway, I mean so what if I can use youtube and be hilarious and irreverent and tell a story that I actually live in, what’s the next step? I become a more dynamic individual to play to the audience? I get a segment on tv? I get together with darcy and work on scripts and shoots?

Isn’t that all a bit typically far reaching? Why don’t I send them to my newsletter so you can maybe build up 150 people who give a shit and buy something once in a blue moon simply because there’s something I’m doing they like. Maybe they don’t like the music, or the marketing stuff, don’t care what I think or they dont think i’m funny or my philosphies are very incisive. As long as they have some reason to read it, i’ll keep reviewing what i’m doing until it’s as good as i can do.

How can I meet the objectives without a list? Something I can work with, improve, make money with as well as work on the detailed process of reconciling my music, my business and my new creative directions.

What if it becomes a bummer like this blog, instead of being cool and awesome, just becomes a depressing testament to how belaboured the whole creative existance has become?

I think that means I need to change up my style. I can ramble on here on my blog, I might still continue to spew words onto the page and send them off for backlink building, ramble on generally, but my newsletter is where I put together episodes that are actually relevant and attempt to tackle the broad range that is my platform.

That’s the whole challenge of a new kind of narrative.

There are some people who will put up with information when they want entertainment and some people who will put up with my attempts to amuse. . . yeah nah, but here are some drafts I’m working on:

But first . . . why not sign up and try it out?

FIRST DRAFT NEWSLETTER: INTRO

Hi it’s Matt here, I’m doing this newsletter.

It is a story, but there’s promotion and creative tips, music to download, and deals on offer.

So even if you don’t like learning about promoting stuff online or not interested in getting music, or videos, or stuff I think is cool, insider deals from my business, kurb, or any of what I’m into, at least it might an interesting story.

Having a newsletter for your project is a great way of building up a group of people you can reach out to but people will tune out if your newsletters aren’t any good. That’s why I want to make all my newsletters super hot – snappy with lots of good material – promotion tips, free music to download, hot hot links, new videos, tears, laughter, and great deals.

What I’m doing here is pretty broad, so it won’t be valuable for everyone, but the people I’m left with will be valuable to me, valuable connections, valuable community.

hopefully

Part of the reason a newsletter is so effective as a money making tool is the ability to make offers that generate generous commissions. I’m not here to persuade you to buy something you don’t need, but to make you aware that these offers do allow me to make generous commissions on sales and whatever I can do to help you to support me by purchasing any of these digital products I’m happy to consider.

That’s why as well as advice, tips, free downloads of content I’ll also be offering special “insider” deals – ways for you get free stuff, but mainly I’m here to write my newsletter, push my content other content I think is exceptional or provocative, if we make a deal and I sell some junk and get paid, well that’s a bonus.

DRAFT CHAPTER ONE, TAKE 2

Internet Money Internet Fame

I had a little taste on the tip of my tongue of internet fame and it was good. I miss the myspace days. But I was broke, it wasn’t real.

But the stuff I learned while messing around on myspace refined my knowledge of internet marketing, because it worked. When something works once, it will often work again and again and it did and I learned reasonably fast.

If your content is poor than you’re not able to be trusted. High quality content embues trust. In my case, I can write well, it makes people trust me.

see this is the second take. on the first take, I got too far into an indulgent narrative. I always tell myself to get to the point of the narrative, which opens the door for information of value to come through. I just need to build the steps, create a clear trail for my audience to follow.

They see a video or whatever and end up on the list,

but I really like the idea of burying the information of value into the narrative.

That’s where I see philosophy coming in, just like any narrative.

Setting/framing, plot/narrative, music, video, alternative content and media . . . conclusion, information, resolution in 500 words, far less than whats here. Snappy.

DRAFT CHAPTER ONE, TAKE 1

At 18 I’d probably read to many modern classics for my own good, my beatnik road movie only got me as far as a job packing kiwifruit on minimum wage, I stood there at the assembly line enduring the monotony in my mind, and once in a while in a tiny moment, I felt something that was about more than me just standing there doing some job.

Well I always got good marks in school but I didn’t do much that was smart after that, 5 years later I was still an idiot. I thought I could be a club promoter. I learnt to build sites in dreamweaver, a bit of SEO, adsense, but anyway, I was broke by then. But myspace changed everything. For the first year I just hung out.

Then I started to do this thing called Reality Compound and the timing was perfect, it was outrageous and took off amongst the local kids. Then I got one of those friend adder bots. Pretty soon I was doing pretty well.

Romantech’s New Scheme Puts Indulgence to Work

Matt Romantech — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 05:54:43 +0000

If you read my blog regularly which I pray and hopefully assume no one actually does, you’ll probably notice I spend a lot of time complaining, whinging, whining, moaning etc. because I don’t have everything I want, and sometimes I complain because I do. That’s just the way I am.

I think Karl Lagerfeld made some comment about the need to find dissatisfaction in your work in order to drive the need to improve. I’m totally like that, I’ll never be happy, that’s the curse of ambition.

But I don’t know if it’s bringing the right vibe to my art because remember this blog is kind of like a sandpit where I can play with ideas while developing music and video and pushing forward episodic content that’s neatly presented and executed however basically.

I don’t know how much pouring forth about general untethered disappointment does for my image, I mean, y’know. That’s not the vibe I want to project with my art. Hope, yes. Light amidst the darkness, gold amongst the shit, I identify with that.

But artistically th eprojection, the depiction is not balanced, accurate in it’s narrative property.

In a normal narrative this would be glossed over in a paragraph, not turned into a years worth of blog entries of what’s wrong with Romantech today or what romantech doesn’t like.

But now we have a high powered new technological solution to filing away all this super important information under “self indulgent crap”, so feel free to laugh along as we nuke buzzkilling drivel on this blog and ship it off wholesale to eek it’s existance out in some dreadful gulag style labour camp as pigfeed for google search rankings and article marketing.

It’s deviously delicious. In one fell swoop all this indulgence about me doing my ludicrously idealistic pining for some non existant perfected lifescuplting is removed from my artist blog so I can maintain the projection of a respectable artist.

And all this nonsense is dispatched to some use building my business, because it’s not as if I don’t sit there thinking, well, y’know if everything was sorted out then I wouldn’t have anything to moan about, and just venting on my blog, y’know is it really achieveing anything?

It’s not suitable to not be making progress, so now we’ve found a positive way of how I describe as “farming out” all this nonsense I have to process as y’know an artistic individual but at least this way if I ever get fans I’m not continually burdening them with it.

But I’m going to post it here anyway for a little while at least so the record can show that it’s not like a sit around distraught and overwhelmed by the endless quest for something more. I forge forth. That’s right. Y’know? There’s always a better way.

At the end of the day it’s about getting business done, not wondering whether that reason that you felt weird then was some weird thing and why and stuff. Y’know, what good is that. I mean it is some good, it’s like panning for gold you do slowly turn up information and perspectives that may be useful, but I think I’d be much better serving my goals if I showed up for work at the romantech website with my nonsense all sorted out so I can throw down some real talk rather than obsessing over some trivialities.

But my idea is also funny and creative too, although that’s a total flight of fancy but y’know, why not harbour a gleeful thought that some random individuals will eventually decipher where all this hidden nonsense was shipped off to and depply hidden vibes will lurk there in.

Anything with steam behind it can power through. If I’m motivated by the idea that I’m actually moving forward – especially if I actually am – it’ll be more effective because I can actually apply myself with vigour, which I’m very good at, maybe even as good as I am at being self indulgent and obsessive.

But on this blog, it’s about art and keeping art from breaking down into mundane biography and self portraiture,however I don’t mind painting a brief portrait of the artist, as ambattled by motivations both artistic and economic, but steadfastly and resolutely seeking solutions.

Romantech’s Ridiculously Indulgent New Years Resolution Post

Matt Romantech — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 13:55:05 +0000

Man sometimes I cringe when I read what I write on this blog but i just post anyway. God help me if anybody reads this. The whole point is to br able to read over it and recognise this is not what I want my art to be about, Struggle yes, and journey, sure, but not bloody me just being wantonly pathertic

Maybe I need to start critiquing my posts on my own blog, I mean I;ma lal for breaking out and exploring new y’know uh spaces and stuff.

Anyway. The post. Why do I publish this stuff? I hope it gets buried, or i recover my mental sanity or something.

My main resolution this year is the one I failed last year – to put girls and music before business.

That’s why I bang away at this blog, it’s like tunneling through your own ego never knowing when or where you’ll punch through to the other side. Especially recently when I started sensing how close I could be to this urban fantasy, this idea that spawned romantech, A 20 year old kid reading glossy magazines in the cafe, dreaming of being somebody hip, and cool and artistic and learned and crafting this freestyle existence that doesn’t adhere arbitrarily to some conventional, traditional

But my other more tangible resolutions are to smoke less ciggies and attempt to refine my quantity over quality seo driven writing style.

Well I have two styles, the boring marketing SEO driven drone that I churn out grudingly for my business and the total self indulgent flights of fancy I go on on this blog.

Should my main resolution be to quit the Woody Allen act on my blog, endlessly neurotic and with the inadequate feelingsand all that? Does anybody really want to read me going on about this stuff? I’m okay with it, I see it as like the olympic athlete in training. If you just want a normal life then that’s not really that challenging unless you’re an idiot, but I’m different, I’m reaching for an ideal and so inevitably I am going to feel inadequate when I compare myself to other youngish self made millionaires who have a string of stunning women on the go and have garnered recognition for their artistic expressions and statements.

Feeling inadequate is a natural product of ambition and desire. And that’s what this blog is about, ambition and expression of art, of earnest will to move forward, closer to the pure source of the fountain from which art and insight spring.

And if you’re assured by artistic recognition, you can pretty much say what you like. Making deep art and lusting after sexy young girls aren’t mutually exclusive, ostensibly or otherwise. I guess I wouldn’t really want my family to know how much I think about models, or for people who take my art as seriously as I do to be disappointed that girls and money must share my heart with that ambition to realise an artistic vision of my personal expression.

But hey. That’s me. I’m an existential guy. I could be a monk and an ascetic and I have toyed with the concept but I believe I’m closer to the source when I give in, when I let go and let my deepest nature and biological instinct determine my steps.

Is that boring for people to read about when I’m ruminating and indulgently waxing philosophically on the quest, on the call to a life of art fuelled by consumerism, hedonism?

I don’t know. Perhaps I’ll change my tune when there’s some evidence people actually read this blog, or that when I start filming properly, a new level of intermeshed art and reality will emerge where the standard of art represented by my listless whining on my blog because I’m too lazy to call that model or finish that new track will not be interesting enough to meet what I deem suitable for my audience wherever they are, which may not be on my blog.

But my blog is still a place where I can deal with my issues using the written medium, which is my thing. If people want to read about it and read about how hung up I am on becoming a wealthy, over sexed one man audio visual assembly line, then go for it.

It probably won’t impress anybody though. Y’know it’s like I said, maybe I need to take the time to think about what I can be writing that people DO want to read about.

But until then, this is MY therapy session, this is MY art, and MY feelings of woeful inadequacy, so deal with it.

So cutting down on cigarettes is a resolution, being more organised is also another resolution, I’m just the type of guy who doesn’t give a shit about being organised as long as everythings working out, which has been driven largely by this feeling of inadequacy, that by now I should be much more established in finance, romance and dance, so forget being organised as long as I keep steaming toward the mark at which I can be considered a contender.

Hmmm, I think there’s a good name for a mixtape in there somewhere – finance and romance.

Not particularly clever, but effective in communicating core romantech brand values

romance, finance, dance, and determinance?

Anyway this is supposed to be a blog about drum and bass and art and my artiness as an artist but it kind of turned into one big counselling session.

There’s probably not huge demand for a Woody Allen type figure in Drum and Bass and a more important point worth visiting at some point is that perhaps I’ve become too comfortable putting this energy into moaning and whinging on my blog when I should be just gunning for the red light – recording, actually creating, actually making steps forward in actual art instead of being a self indulgent prick.

Just discovered the problem with existence. You can have anything you want but not everything you want. Doesn’t life suck?

There are guys out there with all the girls, raking in mad cash, and there are guys opening up portals to vinyl singles coming straight from the centre of their entire being.

They’re all doing this, and I’m not. I just wonder how some people cope with it and don’t just drop dead on the spot.

I mean, you may feel fine with your life and for that you are truly lucky, you’re probably very down to earth and grounded and all that, while I languish in pitiful hole with only a clutch of significantly hot women’s numbers with a passing interest in me, an unfinished mixtape release project and little more than 100 grand to my name.

Alright it’s time for the new years post on the Romantech blog – gosh I was getting a bit skittish after christmas, it was just such a weird feeling moving on from this point knowing I can pretty much have anything I want. That was what was buzzing me out – it felt so weird not to have this painful longing and inadequacy driving me.

I can have anything, but maybe not everything, and the point. I think that encapsulates my concerns over the last week.

If I really wanted something I’m sure I have the resources to get it. So it becomes about being sure of what you want, of feeeling it, that was what I was talking about last week, trying to sense out a feel for what’s right to move toward.

I’m sure if I wanted to date a model I could do that, or even put out a vinyl single, and the millionaire thing well y’know I’ve kind of relaxed on that, it might take me 10 years but y’know, what’s the point of being rich and old so you basically have to pay girls to want to hang out with you? Or, y’know, the only hot girls you’ll get are those wanting to drink themselves stupid and gobble all your drugs? Silly bitches, basically?

I’d rather enjoy the lifestyle now while I’m young . . . ish. While know one’s going to raise an eyebrow when I say i’m 29. heh.

Ahh 29. The best 3 years of my life.

I was already working on my new years resolutions, since I gave up a lot of processed sugar which was incredible because my skin and weght have improved noticeably in about a month, I was kind of figuring I wanted to at least rein in the amount of ciggies I was smoking.

Little goals I can work on while I’m still undecided about where I’ll really be pushing in 2010.

I think I will be bringing the romantech style because there’s plenty of time for making money and music, and I know deep down it’s easy for me to say “I could chase hot women all night and day if I wanted to.”

it’s an easy way of not having to actually do anything toclaim that you could but you choose not to.

More Personal Dilemma Busting Action From Romantech For 2010

Matt Romantech — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 08:33:54 +0000

What was I going on about? That my biggest problem right now is that I’m starting to become happy and I’m not used to it? Well look it’s complicated, okay? Y’know like facebook.

We want to improve and move forward, not just die in whatever hole I happen to end up lying in just because I happen to be smiling atr the time.

And I’m not sure it’s great for my artistic expression either, or this blog and anything else in that vein, it’s supposed to be an epic struggle for redemption and all that. It’s very confusing journeying into art and reality.

No one wants to know about some loser. But then no one wants to know about some smug prick either, that’s not a narrative. It may be just a false sense of security.

That’s probably what it is. I’m sure I’ll find something to be miserable about, you don’t have to worry about that.

But let’s move on because this is depressing me, I’m supposed to be here to work it out y’know, I get this flash just as I’m discussing something which allows me to move forward in my thinking but it’s not happening right now.

I’m supposed to be putting the pieces of the puzzle together, y’know, if I’ve got enough money, and I’m not really motivated to put the work in to become a bona fide player, then that leaves just my art, and I think I need a dose of inspiration, but then at the same time, the most important thing seems to be maintaining and consolidating the progress I’ve made in the last few months because as I suspected, what felt like pain was actually an opportunity to grow as a person and all that nonsense.

But hey, seems to have worked out, except I can barely concentrate right now. Yeah that’s right I’m all about the stream of consciousness that’s why my blog is so popular and uh widely read.

But I’d much rather write my blog than get judged by trying to impress some chick. Y’know, I just can’t be bothered trying to impress them anymore, and ironically I think that’s what makes me so impressive.

With art, well the situation with Dojo Inspectors was a bit of a bummer but I’m already looking into it and feeling that I need to improve the standard of the issue, which at least means I’m motivated, and of course I’ve finally done what will be the “Tough Love” mix which kinda made me wonder what the hell I did it for, so like a few dozen people here and there can be impressed and my mates don’t think I’m going to seed.

But I was talking about business which I guess remains as the default, money isn’t exactly going to drive women away or make me seem insignificant or give me less options now is it?

So yeah, I’m sure I’ll work it out, venting as I am want to do on my blog. I’m sure there’s some redeeming feature outside of being a distraction from smoking too many cigarettes and wondering what the hell I’m doing.

God what an awful blog post. I don’t even know what I’m talking about. I think I maybe need to work on cultivating my personal brand image – y’know unless my brand is going to a miserable whing moaning, unfulfilled pile of uh yeah . . .

I’m on a journey okay? I’m on a journey of art and discovery and all that. I’m reaching for artistic purity, don’t laugh, I am.

Relative Negativity And New Mixings For Romantech

Matt Romantech — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 12:09:19 +0000

Okay today I am now happy again after before, when I was sad.

I am happy because although I missed my Beat Dungeon show I still managed to get in a good 4 hours mixing today, i’ll be honest that’ll be the longest I spent mixing in years. Most of my ideas for the detonate festival we’re playing for new years in a few days are sorted, and I’m actually keen to lay down another mix, but I have conflicted emotions on that subject.

Missed the show due to being locked out and having basically no patience for endless codes and security measures, I just did what I always do, hung around for 15 minutes and then buggered off.

Is that important?And I saw some of the 100 best videos of the decade, including The Mint Chicks and Fat Freddy’s and as usual felt inadequate about not being established.

Sheesh, there’s always something

But that’s what I like about happy smiling face feelings because they make you forget about some problem that you were having before.

What was that problem? I don’t know, there was the redhead model and ambrozia, but bizarrely, I don’t even care because of the music situation, I haven’t even got back to either of them. Two hot chicks both wanting and expecting to have an interaction, but I’m all sitting here because I wasn’t happy about the vibe around my art.

This Dojo Inspectors thing is depressing the hell out of me, everytime I get a musical vibe, I remember that Dojo Inspectors is basically, nothings happening, there’s nothing I can do, I just feel totally powerless. And makes me angry, and I feel saying well forget it, forget that.

If I can’t put out an album without all these problems, then I won’t, i’ll do something else. I’ll chase girls and work on my content. But isn’t it so typical? It’s too typical. Not 1 but 2 hot girls, and all of sudden I’m all like, too concerned about my artistic problems to care . . .

See this is why I write this damn blog. Because how else would I have come to realise I am a really negative person, as in, I tend to zero in on shit that I’m not happy about . . . you could say it’s a problem solving, improving ideal . . .

Mine eyes have seen the glory. I know it exists and I know it’s within my grasp, I just need to carry it home. That should be my positive affirmation so I can like totally self actualise and stuff.

But yeah, how am I supposed to put up with not having the things that are there, that I know I can have. That’s why I’m a negative bastard.