I got some videos for you. What’s it about? Well y’know,

Okay so you got like the spaceman from the other dimension, and the preacher guy who does exorcisms, and the puppet hipster dude. The spaceman is out there exploring, he’s aucklands most wanted. The preacher takes to the streets, a mad man protesting and banging his bible, he’s a mad spiritual crusade, don’t forget we roll with hamlet and don quixote in pyramids with aliens (kind of). Pirate Matty sets sail on his journey.

Episode 1 must intersect this at some point.

The journey is in sound. It’s about ideas that accompany the music. But there is the story, the storytelling of the narrative represents themes that are being brought to the surface. Things as the have transpired need to be understood in some way. Or we’re just being expressive and working towards some kind of form.

Y’know but you need to be more clear what weird dumb videos do. Well, they express ideas don’t they? That’s where the story is heading to. The spaceman realises he is not the spaceman, I mean space captain, and the preacher is on a crusade, I don’t think he’ll ever come in. Is he american?

He’s just this crazy cultist. Basically getting caught up in his own propaganda that was originally supposed to be a scam. He’ll be guruing out hard. He might not come in. The muppets thing might be shortlived. It could be pegged to Matty’s fun time or whatever. A list puppets at work and play. I’m just wondering if that just moves on to the puppets kicking off gazestep movement.

Can we converge with pirate matty? Well in a completely abstract and non arbitrary way. If one minute it’s matty’s fun time and the next it’s pirate matty, who need mention? What mention does there need to be of Lord Jonathon and Pirate Matty? It’s various levels of awareness.

Maybe it plugs in the anti reality show – rather than a reality show that is scripted but pretends to be real, reality compound is real but pretends to be scripted. Every character is me playing a character, sometimes i’m in character and sometimes I’m not.

There are parallels between the pirate and the space captain who both leave in search, do they both lead, and the preacher lead, to the choice matrix?

At some point RC are going to launch their modelling agency. The legend of the powdered tiger penis must rise and is there a connection to the space captain having revealed clone identities, crazy cult dudes, and a weird pirate?

Once I was this dude who was a dubious trustafarian bottomfeeder working in the music industry who then constructed this fake band on myspace then became some kind of brand guru and went off the deep end on drugs. This was romantech. The space captain is romantech. Does he go round committing cultist acts without knowing? Really?

No of course not they’re not schizophrenic clones, they’re this one guy trying to do teh funi on youtube. He’s got characters, a pirate, a crazy preacher, a hipster gazestep puppet guy, oh and of course the powermaster and all that. Where do they fit in.

Episode 1, business guy trying to do business man thing, but can’t ends up drunken pirate. In episode 2 there is a girlfriend and model search. In episode 3, the tiger penis caper begins.

Now it gets a bit thin, which means we need music stuff to push the content until we know otherwise. But we know where it’s heading. The big picture I think, I see, and we can actually be quite upfront about this, a string of dr. who like girls or some kind of twisted equivalent, where I’ve got some girl trailing me who is dumb enough to believe I can make her a model. Y’know, this is reality compound, it’s no longer about some dude who pretends he’s in a band! It’s about some strange business guys misguided quest for acceptance.

But let’s review that girl connection and other characters, because we need a fairy for the pirate. Maybe puppet guy could have a deep gazestep romance. I’m getting this vibe there too, in the beginning it’s always the kids show with voices, then it goes to the after dark bit and it’s gazestep with subtitles.

kids show puppets wont stay in character – club scene

forming a band yay – gazestep out

girl involved – romance step gazestep

The preacher doesn’t need a girl, he’s insane. So we’re consistently looking a girl to be tiger penis assistant huntress, fairy and gazestep love interest.

But eventually . . . I just happen to be DJing more. I actually begin to make it happen for the models and that is a crucial point. So what happens after that is those characters start taking more focus, and what happens to me? I’m other character in the background, reality has shifted again.

LIST OF IDEAS AND CONCEPTS FOR UPCOMING VIDEOS

Pirates

powermaster
preacher mathias Myspace sermon
Noob eats new beats/Home alone
Last transmission
Aucklands most wanted

penfacing
matt’s happy time

RC1
Lil titty ad #1
Jumjar ad
Purple cow
Rc sports

Videos and songs that I do are important I guess, I mean that’s why I started this blog – because I wanted to be a guy who writes a blog because I do music and videos even if I don’t actually write about music and videos all the time it’s kind of all part of the creative experience of existing and creating and being about that.

But we have to get back to our guru stuff also because it’s a little bit weird when you’re trying to do songs or videos but you keep disappearing down these metaphysical rabbit holes.

Actually now I’ve been working hard as well as working on music and videos so I don’t know – I think I may have made some progress in being more conscientious, or just having the dual focus of working not too hard, not so hard that you lose day to day focus on more creative stuff, it’s awesome, I’m making money and I’ve got new music and new videos in preparation, I’ve managed to get them both under momentum . . . and thus why we’re not updating the blog so rapidly.

I gave up sugary treats as well which was good. The main point there is in realising you don’t actually need the thing. I the only reason I wanted chocolate, was because I was a chocolate eater. Stop eating chocolate, you stop wanting chocolate.

But more gurucore vibes are waiting to spring up because y’know maybe I write songs and do videos and stupid blogs but I’m like a philosophical and intellectual explorer. I’m not an expert, I’m a journeyman really. Writing 100 blog posts about abstract philosophical and life shit doesn’t mean I know that much, but enough to keep going because I’m making progress I just wanted to look over that stuff.

The rest of this post is from before the tour when I just had too many philosophies and ideas bubbling up and I knew eventually I was going to have to get back to this stuff, ribbon farm, ricky raw, even the chateau have been publishing stuff worth going over and it’s only going to add to the brew of concepts and thought.

Ribbon farm did a yearly round up post of all his top posts of the year, that alone is going to be bulging with knowledge and thought.

So go back to january and I’m blogging and doing insane archiving and themes and threads are starting to get out of control on this blog I need to try and bring them together I’m kind of like an amateur $2 guru, I don’t really know what I’m talking about on my blog, I just talk and hope to become less wrong.

There comes a day when music and money and girls just don’t matter. I would have guru’ed up fully by then anyway. Why rush it?

I remember Ambrozia and the wild tension between us, but what of it? Am I dead already? Let that matter some other time.

Remember that Cranberries song? My father, my father, he liked me . . .

Almost awkwardly desperate, but isn’t that really all we are? Here I am, I’m about to die, did you know that my special moments were special? Fancy that.

You’re going to die. It brings your life meaning, you only live once. If you want to start to understand life, realise that one day it ends, and go from there. So what’s on Romantech’s $2 Guru menu? It’s all art and philosophy here.

Choice – is the only thing we have control over, so it defines us. I choose to write, because I choose to think, and I try to understand.

Narratives – Narratives represent how choices are depicted – narratives can be goldilocks and the 3 bears, the hare and the tortoise, or it can be the expectation that you get a job, partner with the opposite sex and have a nice normal family and life

Characters – I just came up with that . . . but I didn’t finish this sentence! Characters, within a narrative are defined by their choices. I think that’s what I was on

Enjoyment – motivations. resolutions? Understanding enjoyment and what it is. I had the same thing earlier with “fun” but I think fun is a type of enjoyment, when we try to understand enjoyment more deeply we see that having fun isn’t the only way to have enjoyment.

Reality vs. Fantasy – this is an ongoing fight that has threatened to erupt once again. Are you better grimly confronting reality or disappearing into a complete fantasy, or obviously – now it comes to me – where is the balance that is optimum?

There is a factor . . . in the balance of you and everybody else.

There are 2 you’s, the you you are to you, and the you you are to everybody else, the public you. What matters most, that you’re true to yourself or you’re true to an idealised perception? Or, not even an idealised perception, just the truth that who you are in your head and who you are perceived to be can never be truly reconciled.

This is pretty abstract because it comes down to the concept of how an individual perceives himself to be perceived, if you accept that these are 2 different realities than what allegiance to you bare to each one?

Are you you for selfish reasons or do you exist only at the intersection of how those who surround you define you?

Who defines who you are? You define yourself by your choices, isn’t that the whole idea this blog is going on? But those choices take place in a context of compromise that is society, the whole of civilization is a compromise of conflicts vying for dominance.

I’m not sure if that recap will be any good, while I was away I was all off away and on about some concept of non existence, because non existence is nothing, there is only existence, and therefore a reality of what that existence is. Does it want to exist? Yes, because it does. Why does it want to exist?

Because it exists to change. Evolution and progress are agents for change whether objectively considered good or bad. Change is purpose in itself. Does existence want to change? Well yes and no, the point is, it does change. And if it changes there must be some driver of that change, the evolutionary, progressive nature that is life, it must exist otherwise nothing would change. So there is a reason for that driver of change to exist, what is it?

My concept of god is that there is a reason that this happens. If there was no external force or purpose, then nothing would change. It would just exist. The fact that change occurs, shows evidence of a force in action.

If it didn’t exist it wouldn’t have meaning, but because it does, it means that change reality, it is a binary code of changing and not changing. There is no binary between existing and non existing. You exist, and then you change your existence.

The force that acts upon reality to change existence is the presence of god. We can’t know why so many things are, they are in the mind of god, slowly they are unravelled by science, the character of the machanics, but little of the purpose.

We didn’t mention above the concept of the unknowable. God is the unknowable, the unknowable allows us to set realistic boundaries on existence, but in the past, people called this the mystery of god, and nothing has really has changed.

Evolution and conflict and progress exist but we don’t know why, it’s not that only god knows, but that nobody knows, but whatever it is, god is good as any other label to describe what it is that seems to drive the universe on.

I can’t help but feel that if change exists it is taking everything somewhere with it. Where is it going? Why?

That is the unknowable, the unanswerable and has no meaning, perhaps you need to leave god to do it’s thing and do what you feel is what you should do within the confines of that.

But that’s the point – enjoyment that asks nothing of anyone, yet holds out joy. I don’t ask people to read my blog, I write and blog because I question. I question and I long to understand. Now, I go back to one of my favourite topics, girls, to illustrate my point.

Girls are basically one of life’s greatest joys, there’s just something about them that is awesome, not just them being hot, and scoring them.

For a blogger who is a thinker and ponderer, there is a kind of uncritical logic to getting up in the morning and pestering women to sleep with you all day, every day. But I question. Who does that make you if you’re wandering around being sexually obnoxious? This calls out the Don Draper figure once again. Don draper carries a dignity that means he doesn’t have to be obnoxious to women, so nor would he be.

I have made very strong commitments in order to get my money, I made choices there. I made commitments to doing business with dignity, which meant some very hard knocks which I got back up from.

It was hard. But I kept telling myself I was doing my best, I was just trying to do the right thing.

I’m not too lazy to chase average girls, you’ve got to remember girls have feelings. Chasing an average girl just for sex isn’t acting with any dignity, but Don Draper would do it anyway. That doesn’t make it right. But Don Draper doesn’t really chase average girls. He just wants sex and gets it.

But as we slip and slide within the archetype, we look for a comparison. The pain of honouring my business commitments with dignity when I had made mistakes and poor judgement made me into someone who got it right.

Part of me thinks I am just too scared of hot girls. A hot girl will give you both barrels. I like to write about myself because I like to think and ponder such things. When you come to understand be informed about your choices you are empowered.

If I walked around being sexually obnoxious, I may luck in, but I’m still a guy who walks round being sexually obnoxious. Would I choose that? Well what if, theoretically, it worked, and you managed to meet really great girls? Let’s just admit it, of course I would. But more likely, that’s not how it would go.

What’s the point I’m making here? I know I was trying to show you why blogging

What do you mean about what I mean about the Season Finale? This is actually where you find out the weird secrets of Romantech Island, and like, tonnes of gripping revelations that explain everything. I just totally need a a top secret research facility with sinister clipboard holding scientists, that’s all, and we’re good to go.

Have you got one I can borrow? It’s just for the opening scene, and like the season cliffhanger at the end.

So, I experienced a fleeting moment of freedom when I started to figure wow, hey, we’ve gotten through a lot of rambling, it’s good we can start really trying to work out what else we can do except . . . until – we apply a concentrated effort to start writing decent blogs.

My first strategy is heavy editing, and less pondering – if we can crack a conclusion that can be thrown around why faff about with all the theoretical workings, going off on tangents with apologist anecdotes, why bother, if you try and say something rather than mumbling across multiple supporting paragraphs before you get to your point, you might come up with a more hard hitting post, that gets to people.

Also I have a habit of smashing one post into another, because I’m bored and just want to post my adsense ads up so I can squeal when I make $2. Just like this one, writing half a post about one thing and then writing the other half about something else, though I like the car crash sensibility when the blog suddenly veers off in another direction. Sure, be stylistically fluid but get concise, get audience focused and draw on what people want to read about not just some personal crisis I want to get off my chest.

This seems like a bit of a series finale, I reckon. Mainly because I feel like I’ve got a lot of rambling off my chest – once I got into the gender politics I figured I just ramble on about anything, and it’s hard to appreciate what it means to know what you think. It’s also because I’m keen to slow down a bit, I’m getting more and more confident that more money is not what I’m looking for right now, which is a relief. It’s knowing that doing less work is actually working out better, and so I’m starting to be less anxious about working less, even though I do waste more time, because i’m only kidding myself thinking extra money is not a waste of time.

It’s like my bank account has put me in the friend zone. No matter how close we get, we’ll never have any “real” fun.

In fact, it’s not the money, it’s I just I want to do something. Making money is the easiest and strongest way for me to feel like I’m getting something done, but it’s . . . I haven’t found the balance yet, maybe I need to keep readjusting my business effort down until such a point where I do feel bored and poor. Because feeling anxious about being bored and poor and actually being bored and poor aren’t always consistent.

But okay if it is a season finale, I want it to be a bit like Lost or something, where it just blows your mind. That’s why wanted this exposition at a research facility. But the producers are telling me we can’t afford all that they know I’ve blown out the budget, and they need to put this to bed, they need this thing in the can with a pretty bow on it.

I’m sure you’re all keen to find out what happens in the big fight between Fantasy and Reality. It’s what the fans deserve, okay? This is my art you’re talking about, if you want art, then I need a fucking top secret research facility, okay or you’ll never put this story straight.

I didn’t think Reality had the chops, but it’s a matter of whether fantasy can be beaten. Maybe Reality won’t lose, but can it win?

What about all the loose ends? The Friday Night Killer, the elusive desert fox, my therapy, what exactly happened there? In the fullness of time alright? Let’s just say it’s not in the budget right now, because we can’t afford an exposition with a top secret research facility with scientists you know that ONLY TIES THE WHOLE THING TOGETHER you RETARDS! God, I’m working with imbeciles. Retarded autistic baboon children with rabies and aids. That’s who I work with.

These people don’t seem to get it. They don’tunderstand. This is my blog, this is my art, and if you’re going to put a bow on anything in a can in a bed, my vision has an exposition with a frickin science laboratory, top secret research facility SO SORT IT OUT!!!

Okay. Thank you. God! Rolling with the top secret research facility cold open in three, two . . .

. . .

I would contend we have a very high level of research going on at the Romantech blog, although we have our issues like any other facility would face, we face challenges in problem solving and creative provision of solutions.

We have our psychotherapy centre as you will be aware, and we have research on cultural issues also being conducted.

I am aware some serious projects are going ahead in the labs at this time, but of course considering the important and broad ranging nature of the research we’re doing

In fact I might even start a think tank. Y’know? Like just get millions of dollars for like doing “research”, y’know?

We could provide a distinct lack of documented evidence of climate change. That seems like an easy job, just do a quick look around the house. Nope, no climate change there. Or we could research why Bob Geldof doesn’t like mondays. Maybe because . . . well it’s certainly not a straightforward question. $10 million should get us started nicely.

It will be the Romantech Group. We’ll have sinister meetings with bodyguards and stuff.

But for now you have to basically be excited about all the research we’re publishing, case studies, and some really interesting emulation experiments we’ve taken place.

That’s right we’ve take place. The other researchers and I happened earlier. It’s very modern technology and it’s under wraps but some of our resident fellows will presenting some of their research so you’ve got to put up with it.

Obviously the research is around observing the experiments going on around the facility with perceptions of reality and fantasy on the patients.

The results have been interesting, the iterations in perception of the patients is most revealing.

Brain transplants, conspiracies with neanderthal bloodlines, flying pyramids, tribal warrior fantasies . . .

Here we’re researching a choice . . . you always have a choice.

Now this next bit is an awesome sinister exposition where you like I’ve been cloned and somehow i’m all like cloned up in pods or like little weird kind of booths where I’m all hooked up with wires to my brain and you can see in one booth I believe I am a desert warrior, in another I’m the detective looking for the friday night killer, in another I’m a drum and bass DJ, space captain crash landed on earth, hamlet, in one booth I think I’m talking to my therapist, in the next, another clone of me is talking to god . . .

Maybe it could be shown with sinister scientists watching monitors so you can show what’s going on, but we don’t have to reveal that their are even clones. Forget I even mentioned clones. All you see is that I’m in this facility being tested, obviously playing out all the different roles of the season, so it’s totally a bit of an OMG moment.

MAN DID THIS SHIT JUST GET CRAZY WEIRD OR WHAT, RIGHT YOU GUYS?

shut up it’s not a “dream all along”! They’re clones in a frickin research facility okay?

Now we’re doing a flashback review so we can go back to like way way back and then bring the narrative together in the end where they break into the facilityor out of it or something I dunno, you’ll have to find out. It’s the big romantech season finale, okay? Like wow.

First I checked out the literary fail shirt.

Then I found Trollquotes. The post modern fun never ends!

I was trying to talk to my therapist, the reception out here is terrible. I’m actually prisoner of these menacing tribal nomads, proud warrior peoples of the desert I’m sure they drink blood sucking on a cow, all that kind of thing, y’know?

Care for a drink?

What have you got?

Cow’s milk with a squirt of Cow’s blood? Oh, delightful.

Of course it’s metaphorical you quack, I’m an artist! What am I paying you for? I don’t want to talk about my mother! The desert is a dangerous place. It’s an empty place. Where do you go in the desert? You wait and sit and try not to die too much.

I haven’t been well, doctor. These guys are likely to eat me or me bleed me out like vampires. Either that or I’ll discover inside I’m a spirit bird and end up banging the chiefs daughter as some kind of reawakening but to tell you the truth I don’t much fancy playing kevin costner today. I need some serious drugs.

And again it’s all some music song thing, from a dream, apparently I keep thinking I’m some kind of club music DJ and labels expect to write music for them. Who are these people? I get these texts about what’s happening with this or that song. What song? I don’t know any songs, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I fly with the bird people of the great sands, ok?

I told you doctor, I’m not well, and I’m having the strangest thoughts I need to be back on my medication. You’re no help. I just want to be understood here.

The only part of the treatment so far I see as successful is the bit where I can still afford to pay for whatever pills I’ve been put on. I woke up this morning feeling depressed but I immediately cheered up when I made $1200.

I mean can you see a problem here?

In the desert, there’s nothing there, and there’s nowhere to go. But the tribesfolk have learnt to survive.

I was stranded here in a philosophical quagmire, in a desert of unwelcoming possibilities, I saw a vision . . . it’s not an unfamiliar . . . peering deep into my own soul

My tribal name is Bird Likes Berries. Alright? Don’t give me any attitude, this is my blog, and I’ve joined a tribe of nomadic desert warriors and I’m known amongst them as “Bird Likes Berries” ok? Good. So basically seeing as I’m now a noble spiritual desert warrior I know a lot of wisdom and stuff. Probably I do chanting as well.

I wonder if hot girls are going to be into me now that I am a savage desert warrior. I don’t know. I could play a little flute or a drum or something it might be pretty deep.

But a hot girl is like 5 million dollars. Do you really need 5 million dollars?

The savages are not interested in a cool 5 mill, and they think your girlfriend would look hotter with a pipe sticking through her lip and her neck jacked up with a metal coil. There’s no accounting for taste, but while you’re here you may as well help yourself to some tasty “milk and blood” beverage.

Just when I think my purpose in music is becoming more vague and obscure, suddenly the triangle portal opens and my “do music” function is activated. I knew we were building this flying pyramid for a reason.

I dreamed that hot alien babes were waiting to take me to another planet where I was secretly awesome and cool.

Just like the last analogy I laboured, that of DJing being like sex and audio production like love, there’s a theory and a practice that may serve different ends and outcomes. But I wouldn’t build a spaceship unless I wanted to explore the universe.

So I had just updated my Twitter:

Following my brain operation, Hamlet, Don Quixote, Kafka and I are building a flying pyramid to escape the neanderthal renaissance #update

I like to keep my fans up to date with what’s happening with me. Of course frickin Don Quixote and Kafka weren’t there, I was just namedropping, it accentuates my brand.

There’s a rumour going round that I have given up on music, which is true but I did that months ago, so that’s not news. Well, technically, I decided to stop being a musician. Now these new accusations are suggesting I don’t care about doing music.  Well maybe I don’t, maybe I am just wasting space out of misdirection, but I think the outcome of the musician was that I want to tell stories with art and music is just one tool in the toolbox.

Art is . . . are . . . tools of expression and meaning. I don’t see the point in descending, capitulating against meaninglessness. I don’t see the point in giving up using music in your arsenal with which to combat ignorance. I do accept it’s time to let go of the idea of being some superstar DJ, because the idea of the superstar DJ, I just look at it as you would a kid playing with a toy. That stuff is for kids. Music has meaning, but all the ideas of being a bigshot and all those concepts, they’re just not real. Those vibes paint a picture where it’s not ok just to pursue art for the sake of it, it’s not worth doing unless there’s money or girls involved.

Unfortunately the thing about money and girls, is that best route is the most direct one, I’ve found. There’s no point becoming a superstar DJ unless you actually like doing the things that superstar DJ’s do, possibly more than you like money or girls. Which let’s face it, is a big ask.

But otherwise, you should hope we all find our purpose, something that expresses meaning and value outside of eating and shitting and fucking and lying there just gratifying yourself with the least effort required. And if making beats and DJing them as well sometimes is the lens through which you experience a more refined perception of society and nature and existance then it has value as that.

I exist as more than mere biology, because I make beats and I’d like to make more videos that tell stories that deal with stuff in life. What kind of stuff? Philosophy, Metaphysics, whether the structure of the universe is so that it has a will, and what does it want? Does the universe want me to enter thy pyramid and fly off with all the alien girls, or am I destined to remain?

I just want my tunes to be released. After that I don’t care. I just don’t see the point in reaching out for something if it doesn’t appear to manifest as particularly meaningful, it’s more important that my beats become what they have the potential to be, as long as some drum and bass label puts them out, I don’t care.

Being on a label whether it’s a crappy one or not just means people can listen to your music if they want to. I would just hate to think that the reason I’m not getting anywhere is because the music is not really available to be heard by anybody. But why do I want to “get anywhere”? Well “anywhere” is relative to where we are. I always want to improve but whether anything happens or not is a negotiation. Whether I’m where I’m at now, or whether I reach a peak of being able to play around the world without it costing me and having top DJ’s drop your tunes, you still want to progress, while as long as some label wants to put my tunes out then . . .awesome.

Girls and tunes are the same, you’re not going to just stop and say well, I’ve had enough . . . that’s it. You might retire or get married to attempt  make life less complicated, but you won’t want to stop doing things you enjoy. unless you stop enjoying them.

I don’t see myself stopping liking yummy food.

I don’t see myself stopping liking hot chicks.

I don’t see myself willfully rejecting an environment where I can participate in art and the value in it.

THE PYRAMID BLASTS OFF:

If I become a superstar then that might be nice. But right now I just want to access the knowledge of the triangle and probably also get more girls.

Which is good. Whatever I’m doing, whatever I was doing at that point – I don’t really know – I”ma keep doing it because we took the pyramid for a test flight and the results were extremely positive. I was doing whatever, I’d just eaten a curry after a work out and was feeling useless on a saturday with nothing to do kind of way (as I mentioned this whole thing of having nothing to do is something I haven’t felt in 4-5 years) and then suddenly the triangle hatch opened and I just spent the next 9 hours working on almost finishing 3 new tunes.

It’s pretty hard to finish tune completely within a short period becuase usually they need to sit and breathe for a few weeks. But y’know I don’t think I’ve ever done so much work on my tunes in such a short period, which as far as I’m concerned is raw triangle power – 10 years ago it used to take me a month just to write one tune.

And that’s just so excellent that on this blog we need to say yes, and good, and okay, and then yes again. So . . . more.

When you enter the triangular state well . . . it’s good. We need to have a research facility inside our flying pyramid so we can remain zoned in the triangular state for sustained periods at regular intervals.

Firstly it’s the confidence and security of knowing such things are possible and they can be managed. I can write 3 new tunes over 2 nights, or one epic long night, I can do that once a week.

And this is my feeling: that if I can do 3 songs like this every week – which is a lofty goal – I don’t think it could be bad thing.  I would be improving faster, each a shot a chance at going further than before.  As long as I did my videos then I’d be fine, but it’s all about getting in.

Let me zoom out so I can finish up:

Did you know that that means that this week, in the last 7 days, I have hit my money targets, pulled a girl from a club I’d only just met, and finished 3 sketches.

How about I just do that for the next 500 weeks?

I think that would be alright. Don’t you think?

What’s the story you’re telling?

It’s all about the story you’re telling, what’s it about? What’s the message in the narrative?

Well there’s the space captain, the DJ romantech, the pirate, and there are garden variety vibes existing in the street.

There is some subtext concerning the powdered tiger penis which is a metaphor for power and glory acquired swiftly by dubious means. Occultist neanderthals compound a theme of an ignorant society, while hamlet is the shadow throwing into relief the inevitability of our own demise.

There are other characters, but it’s clearly just Matt, who is a guy doing all of this. Matt is a marketing guy, matt is somewhat desperate to prove something. There is a sad yearning to be “somebody”. Though I think we see that Matt is an okay person and has a lot of redeeming merit, it is somewhat the desperation, the calculating, the unflinching willingness to compromise for true success that makes him also a pathetic figure.

It’s Matt’s “permanent dissatisfaction” which pushes him on, and seperates him from the world he seeks to inhabit because it’s never about fakeness or pretentiousness, it’s genuine earnest desire to participate at the highest levels. This tells a story about the true reasons people want to be recognised, validated.

Everybody wants to be important, and everybody thinks they’re important.

Is now a good time to touch on revisions and allusions to don quixote?

Too late! From Wikipedia:

“He has become obsessed with books of chivalry, and believes their every word to be true, despite the fact that many of the events in them are clearly impossible. Quixano eventually appears to other people to have lost his mind due to lack of sleep and food from dedicating all of his time to reading.

He decides to go out as a knight-errant in search of adventure. He dons an old suit of armor, renames himself “Don Quixote de la Mancha,” and names his skinny horse “Rocinante”. He designates a neighboring farm girl, Aldonza Lorenzo, as his lady love, renaming her Dulcinea del Toboso, while she knows nothing about this.”

Before I lose the thread where are the most fundamental connections? Well the concept of “adventure” I’ve talked about profusely and that is has a romantic, idealistic quality.

Don quixote is an idealistic dreamer who sends up the values of the era. For him it’s about being a chivalrous knight, for me it’s all about being cool and awesome, rich and famous and super socially buccaneering, but I never see that I am really a joke.

The character of Matt supresses a romantic fondness for the city and the night, in an attempt to be a hardnosed hustler, which always fails.

I should call my beamer “Rocinante”.

Everybody wants to be important, and everybody thinks they’re important.

I think it’s a battle of two individualisms, the romantic version which is in a lamplit park sharing innocent moments with some young girl, and the version that wants to be important, to feel that they have to matter more, that they do.

What is it? That the beautiful person, the smart person, fall into their own traps?

What is the end? The end is acceptance.

I roll like Kafka, they see me rolling, they hating – because I’m a giant bug – tryna catch me metamorphisizing – like they ain’t seen a giant bug before.

Wouldn’t you rather keep it up tight with the great masters than be some droning maggot hatching out of a dead dog’s ass? Because I was about to jump on Twitter – or you might say facebook but I’m not that far gone – but then I got scared because of all the neanderthals there who are consistently plotting to enslave me.

I’m almost positive that Kafka and Cervantes were not neanderthal descendents, but certainly if you log on to twitter and you’ll find neanderthals there. Maybe they’re not occultist neanderthals, they’re just kind of “meta-distracted”, I understand that concept, it’s times like this I realise just how easy it is to jam up your thought processes – I got no gigs or odious commitments that are likely to lead to this situation right now and boy am I upbeat about that.

It’s all about neanderthal management. Management of neanderthal related outcomes. People are on their facebook and twitter going on about nonsense that makes less sense than the conclusions of my thesis related to occultist neanderthal and powdered tiger penis conspiracies involving interdimensional space and time travellers.

I don’t get it but it frightens me. They are coming to get me.

In the story – but we know it’s not true, it’s all just a metaphor for alienation.

What is the acceptance there? It’s kind of open ended. Either I settle into something else, or I continue to range farther and wider in my attempts to follow various plans. It might end with me settling into a new format, it might continue with focus shifted from me.

But I think new themes are waiting, there’s the one about letting what other people think define your behaviour and whether you should do that, maybe exploration of my misanthropy, I don’t really like people, I don’t feel the need to be close to them, yet we long to be adored.

I guess it’s another way of illustrating the perversity of modern individualism.

just because you’re not posting a photo of yourself making sexyface in a bikini, doesn’t mean your array of pithy quotes and Instagram cityscapes isn’t a form of self-conscious brand creation.

Well, I am just still not happy about my video camera being pinched, because it’s hard enough as it is to get motivated to do video stuff. Pretty much.

Don’t try to be funny or dramatic, stop . . . I want to get some shots of this.

Don’t jam unless we can record it.

Don’t think, I want to write it down. Put it down on paper. Get it in writing.

What’s the plan? What plan? What about the plan? What are you doing?

Doing? Nothing. I’m not feeling it. I’ll conquer the world another day, because I’m tired. We’re on strike, get this down:

I quite like writing on my blog, mainly because I barely understand what the hell is going on. The struggle for better pay and conditions can be quite demoralizing, probably because of our expectations – there was always a chip in your head. But you can’t really expect much from a blog and nobody cares so that’s great.

We just want to do it. The magic triangle I often describe has the ability to isolate creative conditions and funnel all this output through, but sometimes you’re just collapsed there in a daze because you don’t know what the hell is going on. All the plants in my garden are dead. Well they’re not dead but I think they’re not healthy, it’s not right, I think it’s mould in the soil. What do you do?

You need to stick to the plan.

Well what’s the plan? What’s the story?

Have you got your emergency response strategy prepared?

What happened to the plan?

Why are you looking at me like it’s my fault?

What happened to the plan was: acts of god, earthquakes included, and then . . . well what would you know? Who are you to question my standard of emergency response preparations that are in place?

Look, I’ll tell you something, I’ll tell you a thing or two.

Would you have foreseen that as it turns out in the continuing saga of the mystery of the powdered tiger penis cartel, that Captain Romantech is potentially part of a long line of alien hybrids being hunted down by occultist nazi neanderthal type dudes, I mean . . . who knew? How do you “plan” for that? Obviously there’s a connection back to the tiger penis scene, everyone knows when Charlie Sheen talks about “tiger blood” it’s a link to the penis cartel. It’s obvious, so how’s your stupid plan now?

Didn’t see your contingency there for occultist neanderthals fighting tiger penis wars, sorry. Good thinking, sheesh!

But okay – some beat in the night, some joint where some cats are hanging, it’s the vibe in the city, it never dies because there’s something going on somewhere, that the inner city life . . . rain falls, fog hangs, the night is cold, but somewhere the vibe remains. But captain Romantech can’t send out the response team – I can’t be there because it’s not ready! Is it ever ready? Aren’t tours so good just so you can go to another town and even when you fail well who really cares. What does it really matter?

It’s a naff song, playing in naff bar or cafe somewhere where older people shuffle in their routine and you peer from the panes across the vista and . . . well what happened to the plan?

Who’s idea was it that we should end up here?

Who got paid off?

Who cares?

Well I just did so little last week, but I told you – I got sick of my god just not being very fair, always so unfair! . . . and so I went on strike. I took some time on the picket line, which might be right since mainly I just sat there and read stupid blogs. No mention of occultist nazi neanderthals closing in on the mystery of the tiger penis, how was I to know?

Too unfair. We walked off the job, we were on strike, but was it neanderthal descendents all along? No! Because god is often a dick and wants to see me in a situation, probably because he doesn’t see it as suitable for me to be cool and awesome, he wants some other douchebag to be cool and awesome instead, of for me to always wonder . . . sorry.

Sweating it out is for the hardened hard men, and crying it out is for the big fat cry babies. I blog it out baby. I’m blog haus for real, I’ll die self indulgently giving you too much unneeded information in regards to personally relevant thoughts you probably don’t even care about . . . I’m a menace, because no one knew how cool I make being pathetic, I will tell you all about it.

Hey, my blog, my time, deal with it, because I’m a tough guy. I’m reckless. I’m a maverick.

Oh god, I sound like I’m Charlie Sheen, except I wrote that over a week ago before his latest thing came out. But more tragically I was trying to be funny, which is a bit not really the vibe.

We’re trying to cultivate the post funny movement. What comes after dickheads screaming “Look at me”, because one day when are douchebags no longer funny? Where does the road lead?

Okay.

Look, you weren’t supposed to come until I FELT like maybe blogging about something good. I don’t want to blog about something good, I just want to complain until I can quite clearly see how indulgent I am before out of shame and reproach I decide to do something about it, or y’know, I get all the energy out and it’s gone and I go to bead and forget about it.

Or if you like, feel the cold steel of my narrative and I reframe, painting fears as hopes and nightmares as long wished for dreams . . . there’s your plan . . . yeah . . . uhh, what?

Look I Did some serious wallowing last week. The earthquake didn’t help just sat there watching all these sad bastards with nowhere to go – nothing to eat . . . if something bad happens to me, well . . . it will be bad. Got it? Forget the plan.

Bad move.

Yet again it’s some dudes on the phone and we’re doing deals and what not and I’m running around getting cash because I’m right where I don’t want to be AND THAT’S NOT THE PLAN.

Then, exhausted from too many moneys obviously . . . maybe, and yeah what I said, god coming and it’s all thunder lightening bolts down on my BMW’s and my printers, and I only wanted to go out with my camera, but no, had to take that too.

So I had to go on strike and we seem to have come to an arrangement, work at the factory resumes . . . but was that the plan? Has the revolution been thwarted, have the rebels been sold out once again?

Have we really moved forward? Does life spit on any narrative that tries to crudely restrain it’s formless progression . . . just stick to the plan . . . but has anything really been solved? Are we really going anywhere or is that another story?

Working is actuallly doing, and sitting round blogging is off in fantasyland, in the cloud.

At least we’re getting paid, which is a good thing in any case. But where are the tunes? It’s a lot of pressure, I’ve got to pay all these stupid bills, I gotta work. Getting the vibe is like cracking a safe, you’ve got to get the combination right, and not wanting for cash is always the first co-ordinate to set.

Which is boring, but hey, at least I’m not writing stupid blogs.

But I was a little bit fascinated by John Campbell and Ken Ring, sort of how I felt solidarity with all the lefty liberal media intellectual types poopooing Ken Ring, but mainly I guess I just read Campbell, who seems like a nice enough guy, trying to do his media watchdog fourth estate lefty intellectual media thing . . . basically protect people from stupid ideas, and then . . . all these lowbrow unwashed meat and veg dudes and borderline ignorant middle of the roaders bashing hell out of him.

It’s his job, y’know? Makes me wonder why he bothers trying to protect people from their own stupidity when they all just hate him for it. Because it’s his job. It’s not my job, and in so many ways I really don’t invite the need to put some stupid people straight like too many of my smug liberal contemporaries.

I only have to invoke my “lapsed atheism” and start going on about the “will of god” like a nutter to have people getting all smug and riding high when – if I can break character for a second – it’s obviously an artistic concept, in the world of romantech, god doesn’t like me that much or I would be dating at least 2 hot girls and both my BMW’s would be in good order as we eagerly awaited my next vinyl release.

Why do liberal lurkers feel the need to be smug and correct the dumb people? I honestly believe that the world is full of idiots, and most of them are nice enough people, but only 5-10% of this country, New Zealand, for example have actually bothered to think things through.

It could be 20% but I’m always guessing and when something like this campbell thing happens I just figure there must be teaming multitudes of them – the idiots, 97% of the population maybe. You see them on twitter all whinging and moaning and everyone everywhere moaning. I moan too, all the time here on this blog, but I reckon I have pretty lofty goals, including getting cash rolling in an epic style with multiple ladies, and I’m constructive toward that goal.

It’s important to get cashed up so you can have a nice ride, and look good, deliver exquisite and uniquely expressive insight in your art, and attract the attention of the ladies, and if some dolt wants to think that john campbell is a dicknose then that’s not really relevant to my situation.

Do a lot of liberal people feel the need to be smug and corrective toward stupid or otherwise ignorant people because they’re not fighting with god for the spoils of fabulous wealth, hotties everywhere and secret space access to all the triangular power to blast off to new dimensions of actual tunes and stuff?

Is that why they have to diss Ken Ring and be all high and mighty about how he’s an idiot? So what if he doesn’t know jack shit about earthquakes, who cares, he’s an old coot, if some other numbskull believes him, then . . . whatever. Leave them to it. Especially if they’re belligerent they could actually be neanderthal descendents.

Hitler could have been a neanderthal, he could of been like well . . . these jews are quite good with cash and talented and smart and neurotic and have big noses . . . – which is exactly what I’m like – let’s do some occultist rituals and destroy them because they’re probably non neanderthal lineage, probably alien mutant babies I would say.

And of course you have christianity, which is let’s face it:

AN AWESOME WAY TO CONTROL DUMB PEOPLE.

Say that you’re living in the dark ages and just as today, only 5-20% of the population can actually process thought in a normal way. How do you control these people?

Well you’d make a book with all this crazy stuff and dude in the sky making stuff, yada yada, and make you feel utterly stink if you didn’t do what was in the book because his kid got killed and he was a totally awesome dude, yada yada.

Perfect plan, so basically – occultist nazi neanderthal descendents trying to kill off judaeo christian human alien hybrids. But it’s not really a thing or anything, like trying to predict an earthquake based on the moon.

But it’s WAY MORE COOL. I never knew the Nazi’s were part of a bigger plan to kill all of the alien hybrid peoples which is a bit of a trip out.

But yeah whether Ken Ring is an idiot or not . . . is boring. I only cared about how people who think he’s wrong, just like me, feel the need to tell people who are wrong that they are wrong.

I seriously think if you were sitting there while cash just funneled in through chutes all around you and you had to beat off delicious, loving beauties as you composed the most freakishly taut story of uplifting sensation and dirty grimy expositions in audible space well you wouldn’t be on twitter complaining or writing some dumb blog all about stupid freaky ideas haphazardly spun from faux existential theology, absurd conspiracy references and garden variety intellectual gibberish?

y’know?

As for the interview itself, well Campbell decided to be the harsh guy . . . and Ring was going on about Richie McCaw? But Campbell apologizes later – again because he’s campbell and he has to respond and have his audience with him, idiots as they are. He’s just doing his job. If my clients are unhappy it doesn’t matter whether they’re right or not.

Which I guess again brings us back to the 5-20% of people who are shrewd enough to see a path through the rubble of humanity around them.

As for Charlie Sheen, he ain’t no Hunter S Thompson, he’s just a cokehead. Two and a half men is just so unfunny. There’s one guy on Big Bang Theory who’s funny for about 4 minutes. How I Met Your Mother has got another burnt star who plays a guy getting laid all the time while eveyone is all like boring and “what??” Just not funny, and somewhat conspiratorially I can’t help but think it’s geared toward encouraging the middle class to have “fun” be “individuals” and that breeding is boring, and not really that normal . . . because we’re growing up believing that being old is like being half dead anyway and the middle class will fight it with every dollar of their salaries whether they reproduce or not!

As for true grit and Jeff Daniels I think it absolutely blew Colin Firth, King’s Speech, No Country for Old Men out of the water.

But yeah, god is too boring, I reckon I’m going to become some kind of teutonic knight who’s trying to subdue all these masses of neanderthals and evolve a bit maybe, we are fighting god, we are in the teenage years of our evolution where we take control, don’t wanna die! you can’t make me! You’re not the boss of my organic structure! I hate you!!!

Now that’s some serious nonsense!

It’s a bit of a mess, to be honest. It’s a fine line between perceiving reality and self imposed limitation.

This is what I learnt today:

“Nowhere in the Bible is Satan described as ruling over or being in Hell. Throughout the Bible Satan is described as constantly on Earth.”

He walks the earth.

Hey now well that was quite a data dump yesterday wasn’t it? It was a wikileak. No, it was honestly, there are plenty of things that are not to my liking such as maggots and that’s the big news.

It’s only my eyes. Perception is everything but whoever said reality was a good thing? I totally spat the dummy, what a mess. I was battling god again really, don’t nobody know my troubles with god?

Why is it so damn hard. I just want to print this money, I just want to roll in my beamer, or maybe two. I just want to make some videos. That’s all I’m trying to do here, but it’s always got to be about some printer not performing, BMW’s that are prone to leave me liable, and then it has to be videos that don’t look that good. Why oh lord, is it this way?

Either my head is the wrong shape, there’s dirty great black borders around the thing, or it just looks all soft and low resolution like in the “problemantech video”. I’m trying to improve.

I’m not trying to hurt anyone. Oh lord, what is it that I am to know and come to understand? Is it humility or ascendency . . . or some so mysterious concoction of both?

Well we’ve got quite a bit of information to process, I didn’t realise how weird and twisted the revelations of not having a gig this weekend would be – since I’ve gigged every weekend this year, and that there was a lot of data to input.

Basically 2 items, the siren call of Lady Friday luring one to dash upon the rocks of uninspiring and tepid drunken conclusions . . . against the benefits of staying home and cursing the name of god for setting the will of this machinery against me.

No look, it’s all scientific here, I’m all about the database, tha needs to be in and on any bases of data and we need to put all the data into our calculations to get the best perspective on what this data can tell us about how our early ancestors may have gotten on a vibe and opened up a magic triangle.

So you gotta input lots of raw data ro get representative results that what my database is all about. I was just rankled because I was just minding my own business going into the new year and things were pretty sweet like I thought I had it held down, I was much more confident about pushing through, but then . . . too many spanners in my works.

Too many oh so familiar scenes to be played out, for to rely on a machine is to put yourself at it’s mercy, oh you printers, oh you BMW’s, oh you cameras, each representing a side of this triangle, that these printers may print cash, that these BMW’s may ferry hot girls, and that these cameras may see art and life and lies and reality for what it only could be.

I don’t want to do a business post because it is boring as hell, and I can’t take it. But my triangle is completely clogged and I need to get it all flowing.

These stupid business videos it’s driving me crazy they look awful, I just can’t seem to make them look any good, there aspect ratios and big black borders, and ratty resolution, learning to be a video guy is hard, and I think a lot things that you want to do a hard.

We know all the answers, our almighty lord in heaven has made it hard because – I don’t even call him “wotu” anymore because it sounds to palsy and it’s not like that – but anyway.

It’s hard because it is.

Like totally, just like this is a philosophy blog because it is.

Others whose printers and BMW’s and online videos are achieved without such struggle never truly know the joy it is to overcome, it is the only joy, for whatever is perceived, soon enough another goal will be seen as the ultimate pursuit.

But I don’t want any endless stinking pursuit!

I know what I want, I want to be rolling in t my beamer in my finest style, a nice shirt and a jacket, a little something something and somewhere to go, is that so hard? Or do I make it hard?

Because I don’t need to be going anywhere, and I don’t need a hottie to make it mean something, that’s not always the story to be told. Where’s the vibe?

But if you don’t need to be anywhere with anyone then what’s the story to be told by clothes and a car? What’s the story? I can go out and ask strange people about parties and find out where it takes me.

If I spend one night going around looking for weird people and parties to go to and then I shoot a bunch of weird arty footage and just melt it down to the bare essence and add narration . . .

Louis Theroux does that so well – really he’s just standing around looking awkward, it’s the deadpan narration that makes him come across in that casually curious tone. He’s a good example of how you can film all sorts of stuff and then just bundle it all up in a tight narration reference.

But who am I? What am I driving around talking to people for? Because I am a space captain who has come to earth to get vibes. Why does the space captain have to roll in style? Because there’s a subtext that I’m not a space captain I’m a dude looking for the essence of his youth. I’m sure it’s a lot deeper than that but that elevator will at least take you down to the next level.

It’s about post individualism because the vibing party is one of the few places where normal people can see the opposite of individualism working in a powerful and positive way. Obviously we know there’ll be dumb people and drunksploitation, but I think eventually we might find good people or a good party to push out the story, even to one of a spiritual pilgrimage.

Because I want cash to jetset around the world and visit all my girlfriends and rock out mad beats and video how cool an strangely funny I am – why would that be what I want, oh lord? Why would that be what I want if it wasn’t a good thing? Why would that not be right?

Where does the voice that calls come from? Do the answers lie at the end of Friday night’s rainbow . . . on a sunday maybe? Calling voice metaphors, Sirens and other greek favourites, Odysseus etc., Rainbows . . . when you only have to talk for about a minute over the length of a 5 minute video, you can mean a lot without really actually saying much.

To start with a reference to myself that can be extended to somebody I met or a mini situation . . . you can say it . . .

“Why do I drive around in my BMW, all dressed up with nowhere to go? Because I believe. I know the vibes are out there waiting for me and so I am ready. Maybe it’s blind faith, but we’ll see.”

Y’know, to start chatting up some hipster chick by telling her you like making videos for youtube and then being able to ask her if you can film yourself trying to impress her by telling her you like making videos for youtube and . . . yeah.

“I’ll let you be in my videos. You don’t have to be my girlfriend if you don’t want to.”

But the space captain is not that desperate he’s a little bit like the littlest hobo.

TIME MACHINE BINGO

Now I’ll tell you some more. Once upon a time there was business and then a gig.

Too much business and too much partying and gigs, I don’t even know what’s going on. It’s not the right one. Too many gigs, too many parties, too much going on, and then . . . everything disorganised.

I have to clean house. You know – vacuuming, mopping, etc. if I’m working and partying my house is not in order and I’m not venturing toward the zen moment of expression. If you want to write crappy tunes then don’t worry about your triangle, but I’m trying to level up to bring a new standard in my sound, so I want everything right, the flow that allows you to ascend can’t happen if you’re concerning yourself with endless nonsense that effects your inner concentration and focus.

If I’m not going to make an effort to make the tunes better than they’re not going to be better. Except the only way is to access the triangular zone, and currently there’s too much nonsense clogging up my triangle. Too many gigs and parties. I am not accessing the secret triangular capsule of knowledge, so it seems like the gig is a better option. But I am honestly starting to think I don’t care about gigs if it means I can’t even take the time to try and access the magic triangle button control. It’s the same deal, too boozy at the gig rocking out and not zenning on my vibe ready to bring forth the power of the triangle.

The whole idea of wicked DJ guy seems dumb, again, I’m going to try and play a set that people will enjoy, so either they do and that’s good, or they don’t and that’s too bad for me, what else am I meant to do? Keep playing gigs every weekend? Well, I don’t want to.

Being good at putting shapeshifter and state of mind tunes together isn’t really saying anything, it’s like a sweet BMW, it’s awesome to ride around in, but it doesn’t really make you better . . . you can enjoy the ride, but y’know, so what? It doesn’t mean anything.

I got me a beamer and I dropped this sick mix. But I want to write music and do dumb videos to talk about and describe stuff. Stuff that means stuff. Meanings in stories.

It’s not only about the triangle opening, but also interacting and adventuring, becoming disciplined in my process, yet flexible, it’s about adventuring toward the good tunes, rather than plopping out some crap some label somewhere might sign once it’s been steamed, buffed and battery farmed for consumption.