Rules for writing, rules for life?

1. Scribbled secret notebooks, and wild typewritten pages, for yr own joy
2. Submissive to everything, open, listening
3. Try never get drunk outside yr own house
4. Be in love with yr life
5. Something that you feel will find its own form
6. Be crazy dumbsaint of the mind
7. Blow as deep as you want to blow
8. Write what you want bottomless from bottom of the mind
9. The unspeakable visions of the individual
10. No time for poetry but exactly what is
11. Visionary tics shivering in the chest
12. In tranced fixation dreaming upon object before you
13. Remove literary, grammatical and syntactical inhibition
14. Like Proust be an old teahead of time
15. Telling the true story of the world in interior monolog
16. The jewel center of interest is the eye within the eye
17. Write in recollection and amazement for yourself
18. Work from pithy middle eye out, swimming in language sea
19. Accept loss forever
20. Believe in the holy contour of life
21. Struggle to sketch the flow that already exists intact in mind
22. Dont think of words when you stop but to see picture better
23. Keep track of every day the date emblazoned in yr morning
24. No fear or shame in the dignity of yr experience, language & knowledge
25. Write for the world to read and see yr exact pictures of it
26. Bookmovie is the movie in words, the visual American form
27. In praise of Character in the Bleak inhuman Loneliness
28. Composing wild, undisciplined, pure, coming in from under, crazier the better
29. You’re a Genius all the time
30. Writer-Director of Earthly movies Sponsored & Angeled in Heaven

I am an intense history nerd, this timelapse of european history would have been like crack to me when I was a tween.

Shouldn’t I have blog about how I’m so awesome? I could have a blog about how awesome everything is, and how my life is a lot better than yours.

But, well I’m not sure how that solves anything, to be honest. That’s just a fantasy, and we are wary of summoning those or any more demons than that which we already have on our hands. I was only wanting to y’know, I’m just a guy with a business and a DJ and stuff, what would I want to be searching for enlightenment of any description for? I’m not interested in pilgrimages or facing the trials of any gods.

I just wanted to have a blog for SEO, so my music might come up in google, I didn’t want any gods showing up causing a ruckus!

Again last night I spent the whole night blogging, which isn’t as I said, that bad, I could have been getting drunk or playing computer games and watching TV like plenty of other people did, or chasing after a girl who’s only going to get you into more trouble than you need.

Better off blogging huh? But then I wake up and I’m like, what was the point of all that? A whole bunch of just kicking a bunch of thoughts around, trying to walk a donkey up a hill to reach god, not really working out. BLAM! Struck by lightening! BLAM! It’s like some jack and the beanstalk thing, does anyone want to buy my donkey?

Golden goose, I know that story, as well as king midas.

But now again, by the evening I’m here thinking well it ain’t like that. It’s easy to wake up and say hey, nothings changed since yesterday, I need to change up my game, wasting too much time blogging about whether blogging is wasting too much time. But when I get up in the morning I go get breakfast, and then I go to do my work, and then I do so much, I decide I may as well relax and unwind blogging because it helps get my head sorted.

It’s not like I say, wow, I just made all this cash, now I want to go at some other hard tasks, no, I want to chill and blog because it takes less mental energy than music or video. Y’know, I got go work, and then I gotta go work, and throw down a mix for radio or whatever, if I can manage to throw down some blogs that kind of give me a grasp on anything, I’m doing pretty well, but I don’t know if blogging is giving me my ceiling problem.

Or it’s keeping me occupied while I have to do this work, because it’s what I have to do right now. But this can’t be the way it stays, and if blogging can give me the link to where it’s going to be, then it’s better than watching TV or playing games, it keeps the mind working. Knowing that just working endlessly isn’t going to work out, well then, what is?

Blogging is asking the question. The answer is making money is easy, and the more money, the easier it is to justify using your primary energies there. Nothing wrong with that, and it’s not essentially true to say that making money isn’t taking me where I want to go, because it’s better than blogging.

Wait, what?

Of course it is. It’s not as enjoyable or relaxing but it’s more worthwhile, you’re getting the money, which is good because . . . every extra dollar is a dollar I don’t ever have to work for again.

We’re only ever going to do so much work in one lifetime, every time I spend an extra day, or 2 nights working, that’s a night I get back, that’s a week I get back in 10 years time. But more importantly for the short term it’s getting me to a point where I can be serious about downgrading money as a priority, y’know not having to worry about it.

I think by choosing to be patient and think it through, there’s more to be gained than being dramatic and panicking. But panic can shock you back on to the course you want to be on, and maybe we can’t make those steps until BLAM! Struck by lightening! Blam!

My stats are not looking so great across my websites right now but it hasn’t effected my wallet so I can’t really see a big problem, except for the fact that I may have to think about finally trying to write stuff someone would want to read. In fact, it doesn’t matter, but I’m just choosing to be aware that that may come down the line, what I’m saying is what is the point writing rubbishy posts if I am not increasing my reach, remember the whole idea was to have a low key creative outlet that allowed me to build up search rankings and traffic in a brick by brick kind of fashion, but if I have to face the fact that this writing doesn’t achieve that then I may have to review the situation.

Like I keep saying, at least be aware of it so it doesn’t catch you by surprise. Too many dudes playing diablo III, watching crappy TV, whacking off to porn, like they got no brain. And if I want incubate good ideas and no one cares that’s not my problem – if the ideas are good, then they’ll rise up any which way.

It’s not really a pretty sight. I never meant for this to be the way it worked out, I just wanted . . . answers. No one was listening, each step closer to understanding seemed heavier and more subdued.

Man, look I just want to be normal. Like you know I work hard. I just want to enjoy my cash and do some beats. I don’t know why I got into all this, it does do interesting stuff to my brain, but you’d think I’d be more willing to attempt to behave normally, but I just write, I write, and it shows that I obviously am convinced there’s something to be said.

Well if you’re going to die, and you’re not sure what to do in the meantime, why not ask a god?

It’s not as simple as spending the money you make, spawning and then rolling over and rotting, wouldn’t that make life all so simple? And boring?

For many I believe it is simple, and there’s no need to pity them. Reality nags at them but it’s of no matter, adequate substitutes exist for the most part, and where they don’t it’s probably bound to be another everyday tragedy.

I am beginning suspect at this time that the gods have not finished with me, which I suppose was the point of my journey into the high country, and I might do well to consider how things may be more deeply related.

In the void, everything is everything.

In fact I may do better to accept that such things are always more deeply related then we can ever comprehend. But what am I suggesting practically?

I don’t know whether blogging is a good idea, of course I don’t or I wouldn’t be trying to work it out, but this is pegged to concepts that run deeper than what I do in my spare time. Or is it? Isn’t it simply about what you want? You wanted answers, well no one said there was only one. There are always many answers and few who can tell you which ones are right. So why wouldn’t you ask a god? A myth? A force unseen is no less present.

Did we not agree to serve the gods, exasperated and uninspired, did we not agree to serve all of them?

Serve many masters, what when they all call?

The victory of the beast. The love of christ. The mystery of the void. Who do you serve? What kind of riddle is this?

Three gods man! You think that’s going to work, you ever tried having three girlfriends at once? You’re dreaming.

The beast god is a lot of excitement but it’s ultimately meaningless, christ is loving but boring let’s face it, and the void is a vacuum for all practicality. It’s like a god pyramid basically. Like it’s a hierarchy and a distribution. From the moment you wake the beast must be fed.

The beast dominates you but only love, the love and sacrifice of the human god, christ or whoever, can dominate your beastly urges, but it is a path into the ultimate nothingness of the void, where love is engulfed by meaninglessness.

It’s a cool story bro, but I don’t know if it has any value. Well maybe, you live your life as a beast, but love makes you human, controls the beast but beyond humanity is nothing, only nothing can allow you to transcend beyond love to a neutral state of energy. Perhaps in the same you can’t love if you don’t eat, well you can’t really transcend your identity if you’re not experiencing love.

But who ever wanted to transcend identity anyway? Well you have to get over yourself. It’s about acceptance again, I really don’t know why this keeps coming up. Because you can’t move forward without accepting? That a lot of information is known but not understood, it is not accepted.

The will of the beast god, that you must fight, is not accepted. The will of christ form, that you must have love, is not accepted. The will of the void is not known because there is nothing to know. It really doesn’t care, it is simply energy rising and falling like waves on the ocean.

You can’t transcend your identity in the same way you can’t transcend your stomach or your dick. But if you eat and fuck and pay homage to the beast god in such a way, and you experience love and the sacrifice, the commitment of true altruism, you pay tribute to the human god in such a way, and you can transcend.

But what so good about transcending? It’s letting go, it’s forgetting, it’s salvation, washed of the sin and the haunts. Can it ever be so?

It’s honestly so confusing because the possibilities for what is good are so varied, that is your choice in the short time you have.

Do you hold what it is to be you, or do you open all the doors and windows?

Do you accept? It’s hard to accept and let the energy flow if you I clinging on to your identity, it’s your pet and yet you scuttle about it. That is usually why people can’t accept because they are holding onto themselves. And that’s okay. But if you’re hiding out scared from the truth, whatever it may be, and we all are to some extent, we have to ask why. Why can’t we just accept?

Because we want to fight, struggle for ourselves, protect ourselves, and survive? How does falsity protect us? Whether it works is not the point, truth is a hard arrow to stop from penetrating it’s target. And yet dreams, illusions, hopes and fears allow us to go on, sometimes, and especially, when it’s all we have.

A man who is lord of truth is lord of himself and his destiny, a man who is lord of lies is everywhere and nowhere, anything and nothing. Reality and Fantasy have sparred on this blog before, the last thing I need is those two getting involved in this. It just might topple my fancy pyramid, for which I had such high hopes . . .

We were churning it out, barely awake just writing nonsense, calling it philosophy, calling it anything other than desperation.

The story was about how I escaped the concentration camp, did battle with the gods and escaped with my donkey, or we could make it a goat if that works. One minute I’m telling you how I’m on an enlightened path toward becoming a guru, in the next paragraph I’m telling you how i’d like to be as cool as the guys in Huey Lewis and the News.

Do we move forward, or are we taking this struggle deeper – the only certain thing is the clock keeps ticking, and such things are only mysteries to those who know not of them, but enough have lived and died, and that’s no mystery. This guy I was reading about his suggestion was that someone like me, I’ve only got another 10,000 days until I’m old and my health begins to decline irreversibly, and it’s up to me whether I’m using these days, these hours to get any closer to what I want to achieve.

That’s no revelation, in fact it’s the opposite, I was surprised to find out supposedly smart dudes think the same way as I do. The only real thing we’ve got to frame this all in is that whatever concept we’re keeping as the essence of who we are in this form, it’s time is relatively short.

We’ve written enough to know you choose your own path. But we needed to send in our research teams to bring back some data. They came back with Huey Lewis? Is it possible to seek acclaim and go on a path of knowledge? It’s easy to suggest that blogging is going nowhere, but if you had some sunglasses, you’d probably look pretty cool. It comes down to what you ultimately value.

It’s easy to say well you can be cool or you can be smart, that’s the beauty of having choices to make, though it does pay to play on your strengths, that’s why I don’t play basketball. Rather I thought, better to be materially secure with an ongoing income, but I hadn’t really thought much beyond that.

I could be a fairly wealthy multi millionaire if I wanted to, but I came to realise it would mean sacrificing things in my heart which were more important, things that are mainly in songs and movies, but seemed like a nice idea anyway. Nicer than having heaps of money and wondering why neat things like in movies still didn’t happen to me any more. It’s just so damn hard when you’ve spent so long believing that money would fix your problems, and it can’t.

I’ve tried to explain the nuance of that feeling so often here because you really can’t understand how much hope it gives you to believe it’s money holding you back.

It’s just like travel, no matter where you go, there you are.

Maybe that’s why I love to write, but I rather feel that travel is cool I guess if you’re playing a gig – because it’s not where you are, it’s how you see it. How you feel, it’s the quality of experience. Whether you’re poor and here or rich and somewhere else it’s still you. People, I don’t think they can get their heads around that aspect of human nature.

I’m always going to be romantic for a time held in the past, for an adventure more innocent. I’m confused, isn’t the whole tone of my blog confused? I’m just confused by having been a young adult. Running a business that makes good cash is easy, but if you ask me what the hell is going on, I couldn’t tell you, I just make a whole lot of CD’s and DVD’s, and I write this blog, that’s why they put me in the concentration camp, and I got out.

It’s about the next level. It’s about an empty level, I’ve killed all the monsters, but I can’t find the key. The gods were having a scrap and then they got onto me, I just tried to make some tributes and get out off there, and so off I went up the mountain. With a goat or a donkey, it totally adds to the authenticity like I’m a total guru kind of pilgrim dude, and I perhaps wear an interesting hat. And have a walking staff, definitely.

You wouldn’t go searching for god up a mountain without a walking staff.

I am beginning suspect at this time that the gods have not finished with me, which I suppose was the point of my journey into the high country, and I might do well to consider how things may be more deeply related.

I wonder if what I do on the blog, thrashing these ideas out, does it ever find an end, a destination? It would be easy to be concerned but we did learn something from our antagonism towards materialism, and that is that a such a journey can reach a natural end.

What was this end? Acceptance, once again, what is to be wealthy yet troubled, a foolish grasp for control through having power over material domains? In wisdom, one can accept that money can’t solve all your problems, and therefore is not what is to be strived for, when an alternative that is a solution may exist.

So we strive for wisdom, knowledge, awareness, understanding and acceptance. We ask our lord to accept us, in that way accept this life as what it is, we thank you lord for these gifts we are about to receive. We thank you for this gravelly path which I’m on with my donkey. I don’t know where I get this image from, I guess some kind of numbskull ascetic vibe where wondering in the mountains to get closer to god makes sense.

It has a biblical sense of retarded spirituality, but next thing zap! hit by lightening. God doesn’t like us, accept this, ya dicknose.

You don’t have to see an end, a destination, you just have to see one step ahead, one goal in a chain, what can we achieve? Interesting blog? Forget it, I’m not here to please! I’m not here begging for your attention!

We need flow in creation, in reality. It has to get better, we must breakthrough, what are we doing here?

We need to get flow and reach people with something real.

*

I really like asap rocky at the moment, “niggers talk shit til the get lockjaw!”

“yeah it must be cos a nigger got cash!”

The testosterone pumps, and the beast god stirs. We want to fight and secure access to females. Conflict is in all things, and that must be accepted.

I always tweet indulgent cryptic crap so I tweeted “African Americans speak of excrement until they contract tetanus” as a Joseph ducreaux meme, (y’know niggers talk shit til the get lockjaw) and then I realised it could sound racist if you didn’t know the context at all, and it was basically awkwardly racial. A couple of times I flushed a bit thinking off how awkward it was.

It wasn’t a big deal, just a bit thoughtless. But I did certainly react, how did that happen? You’re not connecting socially so you’re thowing out thoughtless comments like birdfeed, and you’re paying for your thoughtlessness by realising how awkward your flippant remark was. Because . . .

Well no it’s not because I wanted to be all cryptic about some new hip hop I like. I amuse myself with cryptic messages, I like the fact that maybe only a couple people will even get what I’m on about.

It’s cool to create intrigue, but if you baffle people with subject matter that is loaded then you might turn people off. The fact is if you started tweeting some really real shit you’d pick up some love.

But we accept – I had a natural reaction to an error of judgement. In future I need to be more thoughtful.

But once you know and accept all you probably just no longer exist as a human. So I imagine you wouldn’t need a blog. But my whole life is going to be about something, so you think I will ever get tired of writing? Of course not.

It reminds me of all the record shopping I did once, I always get these flashes of being younger, it was so long ago, I can’t believe how little anything mattered then, nothing important seemed like a big deal, I’d spend hours flipping through the vinyl.

I see young dudes in their 20’s and they think it’s all a big deal, beats, I used to be the same, I thought it was a big deal. Now it’s like man. What am I trying to say? The posing, it’s dumb. Just dumb kids trying to be cool.

Does it mean anything now, all that time spent? It was part of the journey, real journeys take a life time. Movies are only 2 hours. But have I really changed? Don’t I still . . . yeah but I’ve ascended from that. And awareness of my trajectory is making me hungry for progress.

I feel like I’ve defeated all the monsters on this level but I can’t find the key, I keep banging my head against the ceiling.

I’m expecting to level up, but I’m just not going there, I’m walking, up a gravelly mountain track leading my donkey. It’s kind of yeah . . .

What do you mean level up? Well not earning more, but earning the same and working less to do it. Pushing my tunes just that little bit further, getting video to happen. And I think more than anything else it means a review of how we want to move forward socially and with gigs.

It may be too arbitrary to think in such terms, shackled to former materialist goals that had always reasoned the force of cash, flowing and gushing liquid assets would push me along on it’s current, but now I bob about aimlessly, swept about, unable to flow on.

We come to write to really get our hands sunk into knowledge, I blogged on all kinds of stuff related to money and sex earlier on my blog just really pulling apart the concepts. What about fatties? I don’t know what to think.

Turn to christ, turn to the gods, turn to the oneness, do we crave to cruelly punish an unfortunate person?

Walk in the love and acceptance of christ, that this person may have suffered, this person may be in pain, do you think it makes you a better person, closer to christ, to be the judge, to be the cruel enforcer. What is it, does it come from a place of love?

Because if my daughter was overweight goddamn would things get ugly, but that would be out of love, not a sad place from torment hails. You gain nothing by pecking like a vulture over others misfortunes, you are better to walk on in love.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not some do gooder. I just don’t think you can gain anything when you are coming from a dark place. In oneness with these fat bastards, I accept their struggle. It’s not the same as me being short, I can handle being short, these people can’t help themselves, they have to scoff down.

Who’s fault is it?

Who cares?

But they get all fat and unhealthy and cost the tax payer.

Well thank god you have your health for there is no richer reward than life.

To me, whinging and whining about people who are weak is for those out slightly less feeble. It’s not about bleeding heart nonsense, oh the humanity, it’s about lifting people up. You lift yourself up and then you lift up others. You don’t buy yourself a $10m boat, you absolute fucking baboon #egalitarian

Okay we have to work practically with the forces at play. Competition can’t be resisted within our paradigm, it has to be shackled and harnessed to power consciousness and empathy.

I’m gaining guru levels bro, hard. Does your guru knowledge bring all the girls to the yard? Not so much.

Take Huey Lewis, his hit, “Happy To Be Stuck With You”. I’m pulling out the rosebud, hard. He gets stranded on a deserted tropical island with a beautiful woman, not even realising there’s a party going on!

They’re all such cool 80’s dudes. I want to be a cool dude. God I feel like I’m 9 again.

Well you can be a cool dude, or you can seek knowledge, or you can try and get your tunes done, this is your choice, the destination is your choice.

I pull apart the concepts on my blog. The choices, the insight. How could it ever end? Only it must.

There are distinctive goal outcomes in drum and bass lifestyles, rocking out crowds and basically enslaving them to the mix, or journeying deep into vibes, deep into knowledge of space and frequency.

We have blogged about advertising before, we knew the time would come that we would need to put effort forward in this area. Marketing and promotions, until I began to feel it wasn’t artistically robust. Paying to get people to pay attention to you because your work wasn’t important enough anyway.

But who decides what’s important and why?

My official position is that we will use advertising but we won’t rely on it, I just want to a interesting variety of campaigns going, be creative with it, but not really spend more than $30 a week, that keeps it creative rather than just mindless polluting marketing nonsense.

But we are still limited – though we have a front page, we need more content and ideas that link fans to this content. It’s not about getting people to click the ads, it’s about getting them to click the ads and then being aware of what it is that you do, and being into it, even so much as to get people signing up for the newsletter.

How do we engage with people wanting to read this newsletter, who are the people who want this? How do I connect with them? Put it out there, put it down, show it, work it, throw it out there, don’t try and make yourself more palatable.

Write ads that would make me go what?

Just like twitter, come up with a concept and tie it ruthlessly to drum and bass and any other core romantech concept, keep ploughing out the ad variations, do 10 minutes work every day, get used to getting in adwords and coming up with a couple of crazy lunatic ads, and 1 straight decent one, and after awhile start killing 1 or 2 ads a day also, so you get a large and productive stable of 100+ ads that hopelly all get at least 1 10c click each.

Or maybe 200. That’s a lot of visitors for $20, hopefully we can build our newsletter up quickly, but we may have to consider more of a landing page approach, which needs photos, content, ideas. They will come, we’ll get in there and start working it.

The first goal is to be getting 50 hits from adwords per week for $10, first we’ll be working to make 50+ hits a week, then we can focus on bringing the price down, if by the end of the year I can be getting 200 hits from $25, I’ll be happy.

But you must continue to push forward with ideas around your strengths, like connecting with the videos, connect with people who are writing and such, if you can build a core of 20 people who love video or writing and deep drum and bass, think, think of how to work it. You need to write in your newsletter and present in videos ideas that are engaging, and are illustrative and demonstrative.

Can I put my finger on it?

Well we do a midas theme, which means a song with a video maybe we borrow fan concepts and use some skype clips of contributors talking about the vision, y’know I’ll talk about the legend of midas, and my personal response, and some philosophical, psychological angles thrown in.

That would work as a newsletter episode. See it works. The idea is also to be rolling this content months in advance so when the tune comes out all this goes out to the first level of fans who want it all. That’s only the handful of people in the video but still, you’re opening up new angles, you have to be working it all the time. Again, I practice here on my blog, churning out content when there is none, keep to a varied but broadly defined theme, so that in years to come should i be lucky enough to need to feed hundreds of fans weekly with content scraps, I’m used to it.

I’m learning to be able to make six figures, write drum and bass tunes and cool newsletters each month, even doing videos every week and blog posts at least once a week. But there were all those blogging rules, don’t talk about yourself, or it’s boring, so what do I talk about?

Well I’ll write as much as I do now, but I’ll edit out all the rambling so it’s easy to digest. I won’t have sentences or even paragraphs about this stuff, about what I should do, I’ll draw a bigger conclusion.

Which is? I talk about interesting stuff in an interesting way because unlike the blog now, it will be interesting because it is edited, revised and worked on, not just whatever.

This is where guru vibes come in because that what the blog here is, a sandpit where we can play with ideas and the best ones can be concentrated into the newsletter, this blog gets so thick and woolly, only insane stalker fans will ever deduce, and by the time I have fans that loyal I’m not sure it will matter.

We need ideas. That’s becoming truer every day, ideas that fuel interest and curiousity. Play games with people, set up a message and then dance around it. How, show me?

Ideas and riddles that communicate to people ideas about materialism, create a concept that encapsulates the real feeling that detachment from materialism engenders, that you’re okay in your body, okay to look after yourself without stuff. So maybe we won’t get it first go, but ideas around materialism.

- sleep rough for a night
- diaries giving up various things.
- videos discussing the concept.

See this is strong, if I wrote a quick 2 minute piece, edited really heavily, and did it to camera on materialism.

I could do some guru core, stuff but to be honest, this is the journey of Matthias, who appears to be completely mad, but is only having really a sound spiritual reaction, and the ideas are designed to at first be laughable and bizarre, until under closer examination, make more sense.

Well if you’re not obsessed with stuff, you can see more important things. People, who they are, what they want. You offer people ideas as well as art, you get deeper connection, how do you connect? Well i’m just about art, I’ve got beats, and I do video and I can contribute, and sooner or later, more people will be buying my tunes and paying for my services.

Why not be that drum and bass videos guy who does the $500 videos? Yeah I do videos, they’re nothing special but if you’ve got $500.

The point is we need ideas that reach people, great music, and ideas. Characters, videos, blog posts, rants whatever.

What kind of rant can we post to twitter, ye olde linkbait?

We need to build some kind of brand that you can cash in on. Sure, I was just saying, doing videos for drum and bass guys would be a great way to make a bit of cash and get noted, but whether you want that or not, you have to put the hard work in first of establishing yourself with solid ideas and concepts that make people motivated to buy in.

I’ve gone pretty guru on this blog at times, but we were always waiting for a time to bring that marketing and promotions knowledge to bear, and now is the time.

We continue onward like a refugee deserter. They had me held in the concentration camp, I had to think really hard about my choices, and I was like, I didn’t really have a lot to say about materialism being front and centre, it doesn’t appear to be working, because I don’t get much joy out of making money though it’s the main thing I’m good at.

I was talking about acceptance. I made my escape.

Awareness understanding and acceptance, that’s where I was coming from, on my escape from the concentration camp. We reached a point where the money was getting stupid, it was the Midas thing again. The only good thing was money, and what is it but time, you, your chance to be here, sold off? Well sure. Whored out. A shame, but I guess this is growing up, dues must be paid. And what of it, we rot, stepping closer to death, our younger follies fall behind our own long shadows cast over the past, heading into the sunset.

A sad and perverse sight, I rather was entrusted to the concentration camp, gassed with thought and copious cogitation, my body writhing and thrown upon the heap with the grim and wretched victims. Without your spacious dwelling, your BMW, your rolex, your fancy equipment and your refined palette what have you? All you really have is what you know.

So to be aware and understand and accept is to grasp all that is possible, that’s when the gods did battle. I never planned on going guru, I just wanted to get some hits for my drum and bass, and then y’know write about ideas, stuff, plugging into other dudes with smart ideas and talking a whole bunch, writing and realising that as I get older, I’ve put in massive hours thinking, and that – I’m not trying to be a dick, and so what – but I know tonnes more than heaps of people, and if I keep this up I might even be able to help people see a better way – if I keep working hard.

The first step was to begin to transcend materialism – to begin, that’s what opened the flood gates. Then we began to understand about acceptance. Accepting who you are, materialism and other desperate behaviour is driven by self loathing and self hate. A desperate need to prove something.

The gods did battle, they fight endlessly against each other and against me, troubling me, testing me, I tried to reach into the void, and from it sprung knowledge a consciousness of otherness, the blindness in believing we are separate and the same energy doesn’t bind us all, whether it wants to be or not, it simply is.

I appealed to the void but such things would never mean anything.

What is acceptance? Long have we sought to know the mind of god, when jesus appeared. To accept in christ the will of the world as it is. God gave his only son, a price beyond prices for any man, so that the sin may be washed away, but only the promise of the great prices we all have to pay. We must remain humble to what this god of all that we see wants.

Sacrifices were promised to appease the restless gods, and we scuttled away into the desolate and reaches of these highlands.

A lost place, a kingdom of art and expression beckons as a safe haven, what can be found in such a place?

Materialism is behind us, not conquered, merely evaded. We wander through this understanding of acceptance to a destination of expression. These stories and tales, not changed from that of a child’s, meant to satiate those thirsty for understanding, ultimately understanding what?

Standing at the doorstep to the void, come back tomorrow and try again?

Again, fill the pet’s bowl with sweeter treats, what would you eat? Ohhh yummy yummy I’m an artiste.

You want to know what’s going on? Who is in charge here? Who’s giving the orders, who’s setting the agenda?

I would gladly unpack my head, and turn my brain over like a stone, and see what crawls out from underneath but it is a lot of work, tiring work.

But we have fun, I’m just reading some of my blog and laughing, I think my blog must be painful to read but it’s not all that bad, because I’m completely nutty, like what am I on about?

who the hell are you? most certainly, the keeper of your own self as a spoiled pet.

Great line, who wrote that, like some hardcore guru? Nah uh! Little matty is coming up in the guru game. I’ve got rudimentary knowledge of other realms so don’t even go there – while you’re between tantrums, I stay zen. Zennish. I wasn’t that zen when my BMW’s transmission gave out on our way back from the hamilton gig. Then just yesterday I locked myself out of the house.

Messed up. Bad week, except for oh y’know getting major website and and video cloggages unblocked. Getting cashed up, but I always get cashed up, we must introduce Midas to our blog, certainly. Because no matter what I do, I keep earning. The only reason I’m saying it because in a materialist paradigm that I am slipping away from, no money problems should mean no problems.

But to those who know better, it’s the selfish world of the dog’s dinner bowl, the cat’s dish, so whatever. I’m guruing up. I can barely recount, the gods did battle, the void opened up and consciousness of all things was apparent, the journey of christ and the holy trinity, the people ran amok, and nothing was less complicated that’s for sure.

We’d make great pets, and indeed we are, pets of the universal consciousness. Pets of the void. The void where truth doesn’t exist. Because nothing exists, the only thing that exists is not something and nothing matters. We’d rather run and play fetch than accept the insignificance and meaninglessness of all things because it does not serve us, our experience is here, slobbering, yelping, biting, participating in deference to the will to survive.

And so what are you, being as an artist, what is this thing, this creature you have created? And what does a blog do to serve it?

I read a tonne of psychology stuff, but I didn’t want to blog about it, it seems so much more . . . less, essential. But you must train your pet. My therapist asks after the avenues he wishes to pursue, these patterns of replicating environmental templates set in childhood.

But then, y’know, plenty of smart guys bothering to write better blogs than you, but then they’re not dj/producers who run their own promotions businesses so hey. It’s just that idea of when or if I’ll ever try to make my blog decent to read and follow.

There is a possibility of more vibrant expression, and if these ideas are alluring then they can perhaps allow me to reach other people more effectively than advertising.

The point is, if you wanted to go and write music and do videos, then you would, what is stopping you, it’s not purely procrastination, for if it was, well we’d just stomp on it. And perhaps that will be, but we gain deeper knowledge, deeper vision than otherwise through writing and thought. We see beyond the last wall, perhaps only to another wall, but however. We pick up, we sense the will of the universe that will indulge us our stories, so we needn’t know it doesn’t matter.

And that is magic.

But I am intellectually restless. That’s the best way to put it, but it’s also a long and ongoing decompression from these years of hard work

Materialism is borne of a need for acceptance. Rally my resources I press on in hope that redemption can be found in the story, in the art, in a moment stolen and hung in a pretty frame. We ascend the craggy upward path.

You need to shut up okay because I finally got that stuff done man, I got my pics for this pure juice video and for 2 websites, so it can be so stowed, it’s not even funny.

It’s not even funny because the front page of the romantech site is basically done for now, which is insanely awesome, and now I’ve got pics to go with 2 of my main site, I can forget that issue, and now I have pics for pure juice it will unclog all the action I’ve got coming down the pipeline video wise.

The revelation of the lord has begun, heavenly choirs sing of the lord’s day. Why? Because the lord likes to see tasks completed, so he can look upon the handiwork and see that it is good. Probably quite keen to see dudes singing and clapping and next thing out with the guitar, this is the day, this is the day . . . this guy.

But you don’t even know because I can start doing ads to my front page of my site, and I can plan my next photoshoot for my next landing page idea which I can go back to, but it’s awesome because you can go to my website – here, not the blog – and it looks awesomely cool as . . . well I like it. And then when I do my work, I think about what else I should do, well excuse me but I have 2 new business ideas ready to back me up should my current ideas decline. So there is unprecedented redundancy for concern as to where my business is at or also of course whether my websites are making me look like a joke to people.

Like how could I possibly be bringing any game with ragged looking sites? That’s the whole point, soon enough it’ll be nothing to be concerned about, one less thing to worry about.

Well now my sites may give those a little more pause, I was excited because I saw that the website was suddenly saying hey, romantech knows what he’s doing at least his website doesn’t look ratty. That’s a big thing. You’re trying to convince people you got something going on, they’re going to be putting out the feelers and checking you against any idea they have of what is supposed to be decent.

It excites me, because this shit has dragged on so damn long, and I can see that I was dead right, strong imagery, like sure I got the photos, but I got sweet photos bro, because for one, I bought me a sweet ass canon with all my loot, and two, my mate stuart came round and he was a don taking snaps and putting in the director’s eye on it, so basically I got good shots and good poses. My sites will be sweet and not something I feel like I should be worrying about.

Ads, sure, I’m not crazy about it, but nonetheless, we move forward, we flow like liquid along the path of least resistance, rising up through the crevices. I will never spend a lot on advertising because i’m not really sure it aligns, it seems too desperate for a real artist to want to buy attention. An artist should demand attention.

How do you demand attention? Not only the quality of your primary message – the music – but supporting elements, the videos, the gigs, the websites. Create a vibe that people respond to. Anything else? The blog? The blog is the snake pit. And the only thing that owns a snake pit is the snakes. Too many worms in my wormhole.

What’s going to create attention for the message? Me being a lunatic raving on my blog, and it’s weird? Weird ideas and concepts bubbling up into artistic visions, you honestly think lady gaga and marilyn manson have vision? Sure they do, but y’know, any artist can access those places, that’s what being an artist is, showing expression, character and flair. I get on my blog to do a rain dance, call the spirits down, and drum up something insane, something existentialist and kooky that no other drum and bass dudes have got going on.

Blog won’t write the tunes for me, i’d be a complete idiot if I didn’t realise that by now. But plenty of dudes write better tunes, people need more, they need ideas, ideas that speak to them. The blog is addictive as a means to propose deeper explorations and charting of territories intangible, we can’t say this blog hasn’t changed my ideas about materialism, which is a strong example about how thought can progress your development.

But I need to be doing tunes basically, no point skirting around it. I have to put down.

What am i going to do now? Chill. Chill out. Ride the tunes I have while making my silent moves. I’ll have new cuts unknown and mysterious to all but I. I’ll send the unofficial album out on disc, with little mention other than just some blog I write all this boring stuff on. Hiding in plain site, I love it.

RELEASED:

Power Supply
Low Key
Juice of Life Remix
Pure Juice Remix
Beyond Faith
Polyps
Kings

FORTHCOMING

Gonna Getcha
So Good
Paper Tigers
Higher Remix
Weirdos

FINISHING NOW

Animals

UNFINISHED

Kingsland Dawn
Mojitos
Hang em High
Secret Place
It’s Done
Trinity

I was thinking something about videos, like I hope I’m allowed to like doing my videos. That’s my vibe, I’m allowed to have fun making my videos, I’m not telling anyone that they’re awesome and expecting everyone to think they’re great, I’m just having a good time. Which is allowed, I dunno, I was worried that people think I might be all “look at me” with my videos, but nah, because I’m allowed to be having fun.

The only thing that matters is that I learn to maintain my creative flow.